I've been corresponding with a friend of mine who has recently moved a great distance. They left Texas to pursue a dream of living in Alaska. They were there for more than two years. Before she left, I suggested to her when you 'leave' it takes about 18 months to really feel at home again.
That's what happened to me when we left Texas for New Orleans. Similar to moving to Alaska, going to live in NOLA (New Orleans, Louisiana) was like moving to a foreign country. Feeling transplanted to a different culture was made even more bizarre because Lousiana and Texas share a border. I discovered in my NOLA time that's about all they share.
Another friend is leaving Texas, where she has lived her entire life, to move to Minnesota, and she's already worried. I have plenty to say on this subject since I've been moving almost constantly for the past two years. My reaction to the NOLA prepared me for this peripatetic lifestyle we live now. When I arrived in Naw'lins, I was, at first, so interested in all the differences. However, when the new wore off, I plunged into what I recognize from hindsight as a pretty severe depression. During that period, I was way too vocal about how I HATED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PLACE. Looking back, I cringe at how I dissed the entire culture and must have insulted the people I was meeting.
Now, my friend who left for Alaska has moved back to Texas. She's been shocked to discover there's something to Thomas Wolfe's idea you 'can't go home again'. I think that means you can physically go back to a place you called home, but you won't be the same person who originally left. In the USA we think we all relocate, but that's actually not true. In a recent book I read, the author is looking for the statistically average American. It turns out one of the qualities of that person is they never move more than 8 miles from the exact locale where they were born.
If you are a 'mover', take a deep breath. Expect to long for where you've left. There are going to be some bad days. Be patient. Everything passes, and everyone adjusts. You can choose to adjust easily or the hard way to the trials of resettling into a new place or a new old place. It's mostly up to you, but it's OK to be caught by surprise by powerful feelings about the experience. Our homes from our actual physical residences to our towns to our states grow into us and become part of who we are. Parts of me will always be Okie and other parts will always be Texan. I'm increasingly feeling I'm taking bits of these other places I've lighted for a few months with me when I leave. I'm already realizing that I'm going to be tuning into USU football when it pops up this fall, and rooting for Bryce and Jorden to be starting linemen. Go Aggies!
3 comments:
Jan, your blog resonated with me. I too, have been a "mover", starting with leaving NY in my late teens for Florida. My longing for NY was more about nostalgia than the physical location. Brooklyn had been home for the first 18 yrs. of my life. Two more states & countless moves within their boundries, and I arrived in Texas. I felt much the same way you did about NOLA, but after 32 yrs. here, I can't imagine "home" being anywhere else. Keep those blogs coming! YF, ET
Jan, I too have been a mover, but mostly within the state of Texas...I have lived in the DFW area (with Hurst being the longest residence) for almost 15 years! Yikes! I am getting that movers itch, but, won't because of the kids ad their love of their kids and some really good friends we've made here. However, once kids are up and out of the house, it's free game Baby! It was easier for me to come back to Texas because I grew up all over the state, but it would have been harder to try to return to Austin or Weat Texas for that matter!
It's West Texas, not Weat Texas! My phone wouldn't correct it!
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