Somehow, by the 20th century, Lincoln's connection to Thanksgiving was pretty much forgotten. Pilgrims and Indians eating turkey as buddies had become our cultural memory of something the teacher called "The 'First Thanksgiving'. Having just had a short course in the history of Colonial America and specifically in the relations between the Native Americans and the English - well, let's just say, "First Thanksgiving" should probably be renamed "Eat, Drink & Be Merry, for Tomorrow You Will Die".
About 1960 in homes across America, the holiday became linked with football on television. Some great college rivalry games grow up around the holiday. The iconic Thanksgiving game for me is Oklahoma Sooners vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers, 1971. (We lost, but it was a great game.) As pro football increases in popularity, the Thanksgiving Day pro football game becomes as iconic in American households as the turkey dinner. The Dallas Cowboys are the traditional team, so much so, that EVERYONE today who works for the Cowboy organization ALWAYS works T-day because the Cowboys always play football that day. I understand Jerry serves a magnificent dinner for all.
This is a strange holiday for America. There are no parties, no costumes, no gifts, no festive decorations, no fireworks, and a set menu. We might have enchiladas, nachos, hot dogs, hamburgers, lasagna, ham or tamales for Christmas, but, for Thanksgiving we eat turkey followed by pie. People travel thousands of miles to sit down at a table and eat with their families. Boyfriends/Girlfriends are introduced. Engagements are announced. Babies are admired. Divorces are discussed. Dead family members are mourned. Everyone has their favorite dish made by their mom, grandma, or aunt. There are recipes handed down for this dinner. Very few men get a mention here. This is a woman's holiday. We plan it, coordinate it, worry about it, fix it (or buy it pre-made and put our 'touches' on it) and triumph in it.
My childhood Thanksgiving memory is from my mother's large family. The meal is over. The males are long gone from the table. They're mostly napping in the guise of watching 'the game'. Most of the men in my family over a certain age unashamedly unbuckled their belts and opened the first button on their pants as they settled into the couch and chairs. My grandfather just flat went to bed after dinner. He worked shift work his whole life, and with six kids, he could sleep through anything.
Meanwhile, all the women of the family are still sitting at the dish and food strewn table smoking and drinking coffee and 'picking' at bits of food. I was about 10 when I wasn't shooed out of the dining room at the end of the meal. It was implicitly understood that year I could stay with the women, but I was definitely supposed to be silent. I don't remember being bold enough to speak at this table gathering until I was about 14. Mostly, I don't recall any of the actual conversations at this post Thanksgiving table, only the tones of laughter and sometimes sadness. I do remember after a couple of hours or so at this women's gathering, the collective sigh, followed by, "Let's get to these dishes."
I do think Lincoln got it right - Thanksgiving is about realizing that no matter how lousy your year, there are always blessings in your life. I think if you are too cool to be thankful, or too jaded, or too depressed, or too busy, then you're missing the greatest pleasure of the holiday - contemplating your blessings and giving thanks for them. I love to ask people this question: For what are you truly thankful this year? Consider the answer. It will ensure you a
Happy Thanksgiving
