My eye looks terrible after the accidental fall on Saturday, but it doesn't even hurt. (If you haven't heard, read back about 2 posts for the details.) The real problem is my foot. I'm worried I've damaged the titantium implant. I should have xrayed it at the Emergency Room on Saturday afternoon, but I didn't realize how bad it was. Now, I really can't walk. Oh, I can move around, but I can't walk more than 50 feet at this point. Ice has been my best friend for the past 5 days - so far, I've used up one ice bin full and 30 lbs of bought ice.
What's actually happening is that I'm afraid. This whole incident is bringing back those years when I couldn't walk, and when Drake had to do everything. At least he's not working this time, and has a small house to keep up. I'm terrified of a repeat episode of not being able to walk because of severe pain. Fear robs me. Fear paralyzes me. Fear feeds worry, and encourages me to think negatively. It's been discouraging how easy it's been to slide into this type of thinking.
I've been running worst case scenarios through my mind these past few days as I sit with my foot up. I used to do this in my teens and 20's as a coping mechanism. I thought if I just figured out all the variables in an unknown situation, then rehearsed in my head what my reaction would be to each possibility, I would always be prepared and never look stupid. Such a teenage thing to do. Even worse, this kind of future projecting is insidious. As I got older, I discovered what a hard habit "futuring" was to break. Figuring out variables and being prepared to cope with all eventualities is admired in our go-go society. People use words like organized, far-thinking, and competent. In actuality trying to predict the future is ultra-stress producing.
Over the past few days I've had to re-learn letting go and facing each day with a cheerful heart, and a positive head confident that each problem will get solved as it arises. It's been a struggle. I think I hit bottom the other day, so the only place to go mentally is up. God knows, I don't want to be a bottom feeding catfish in a pond of despair. In an even smarter move, I also spread the word among my faithful friends and tapped into a powerful prayer chain, If you are just reading about this, I'll take all the prayers I can get. Pray not only for healing, but for my head to stay positive. Now, I have to attend the physical part and have Drake bring me another ice bag.
Three Days Later...
I'm enjoying my black eye; it's never been painful. It's subsided into magenta and gold (mostly). Today, I painted up my other eye to match it, coordinated my T-shirt and jewelry, and went to Art on the Lawn. This is a fundraiser festival for the Logan High School Art program. This is such a small town that several of the artists I met at Summerfest recognized me. If I came here every summer, I'd be helping to put on this function. Fundraising for high school programs in the arts hits me right where I like to live.
Foot news..., getting better. Still not 'great' but I was able to walk around for 3 hours today and tolerate the pain. Getting out today boosted my spirits, and made me hopeful that this stupid foot will slowly improve.
Keep on praying friends, and I'll stop 'futuring'.
Since we are in Utah, there are lots of Mormons. Now, contrary to what some believe, they don't wear badges that say, Hi, I'm a Mormon. I was surprised to learn that there are actually two portions of each Mormon church: The tabernacle (open to anybody), and the temple (only Mormons allowed). The Logan Temple is on top of a hill and surrounded with an 8 foot high decorative fence. The hill location is by design. More on that later.....after I've toured the biggie in Salt Lake City. The tabernacle and temple are totally separate buildings. The Logan Temple and Tabernacle are the second oldest ones in Utah; only St. George's religious buildings are older. They were started in the 1870's and were finished in the 1880s. Piecing together other information I've gleaned, this church is very formal, and dictates not only behavior, but also WHERE you attend church. The temple isn't used for regular Sunday morning services. There are what we Methodists would call 'churches' all over town. You're assigned to one of these 'churches'. These all like visitors, and have banners out front - saying 'Visitors Welcome'! I could have taken a Get to know your Mormon Neighbors class as a summer citizen, and now I wish I had.
Logan's tabernacle is the home of the daily concert. Remember, I told you that in the summer there are more things to do than you can possibly imagine? One of the 'things' is a daily concert at the town's Mormon Tabernacle. So far we've been going to two or three a week. This is all local talent. They draw on the USU staff, and students. Today there was a trio (guitar, drums, bass) playing jazz. It was cool, it was hep, it was sublime. The group leader, the guitarist, is actually a music professor at USU (last time I'm telling you this - pay attention: USU = Utah State University). We have also seen a young couple - she plays the violin and the piano. He plays the piano, saxaphone, guitar, clarinet and the banjo. He also composes music. In addition to lots of talent they had that 'we're young, we're newly married, and we're so in love' thing going for them. We also saw a string quartet that is the string faculty at USU - they have an international reputation. Then there was Banjo Man and Company - a retired Theriot employee who makes music with his family (wife on the bass and son on the violin). Our other favorite was the Lightwood Duo (guitar player paired with clarinet/bass clarinet player). These guys are also on the faculty of USU, and they have been playing together for 40 years. The got their start in heavy metal, thus, their current group name is the antithesis of that. The feature of the tabernacle is this phenomenal organ which we haven't had a chance to hear yet, but a concert is coming up.
The concerts have Ushers who answer any and every question you can think of to ask including "Where do you get your hair cut?" I spotted a woman usher who wears her hair extremely short like I do. I've discovered that's my best source for hair dressers are strangers with short hair. She was happy to share her operator's name with me. I'm also trying to get a tour of the new temple being built in Brigham City through her. Once the Mormon temple is dedicated, non-Mormons are not allowed. Keep your fingers crossed.
Another feature of Mormon life is children, lots and lots of children. In my class most of the other students seem to come from large families -the winner on that front: a young woman shared that she has 10 brothers and she's the only girl in the family. As she put it, 'Pretty, Pretty Pony' was rarely the game chosen for family play. Walmart sells childrens' cereals in dog food sized bags Can you imagine 25 lbs of Lucky Charms? The childrens' clothing departments seem twice the size I'm used to. It's most usual to see a pregnant woman holding a baby on her arm, with a toddler in a stroller being pushed by a child barely tall enough to see over the handles. Truthfully, after being in Sun City the home of the decrepit, it's been refreshing to see so many children.
I was doing the field work for the kind of blog that my readers like - taking a tour of individual home gardens. I was having a wonderful time making new friends, casually interviewing home owners, and snapping a zillion flower pix for my flower lover readers. As we left one house, the local postman was raving about this old house on Crockett (one of the few named streets in Logan) which had a marvelous garden. My friends and I found ourselves driving by Crockett Street and decided to find the house. It was everything the postman said, so Joyce and I hopped out to take a few quick pictures while Connie waited in car. It's been unseasonably warm here, and she was hot.
Walking up to the curb, my bifocals saw one curb when there were actually two. My clutczy self took over, and I tripped. I didn't fall immediately; instead, I took two or three off balanced running steps trying to get rebalanced. It didn't work. Clutching my camera in one hand, I hit the pavement - hard - face first. Joyce, standing right next to me at the time, said my head bounced off the pavement like a golf ball.
My face above my eye had an instant goose egg. In five seconds time, I went from a smooth countenance to a 2" bump popping out of my face. My glasses, my new $500 pair of glasses, had smashed into my face. Laying on the sidewalk, I was stunned. Then, the pain started, and the blood started. Fortunately, there wasn't too much blood. Unbelieveably, my lens only cut a couple of small slices in my eyebrow. Above my kneecaps were burned and slightly abraded, but my knee caps seemed OK. Elbows fine. I started to breathe a little easier, and my friends went into action. Joyce obtained ice and a cloth from a lady across the street, and Connie started mopping up the blood with Kleenexes. We all agreed that I need to get HOME.
I was back home within 15 minutes of falling; and then the adrenaline wore off. I really hate that feeling, all nauseated and shaky. I began to notice that perhaps I hadn't gotten off scot free after all....... Within 30 minutes we were at the hospital to make sure I hadn't broken any bones in my face or my hand which had belatedly began hurting even through ice packs. But the worst of all, my bad foot with it's artificial joint was screaming at me. Too late, I began to ice it, but it continued to swell.
I was pretty miserable most of the night. This morning I have a deluxe shiner, my hand is swollen, my shoulder joint is hurting, and my foot is screaming with pain when I try to walk. Of course, I'm borrowing trouble, and worrying that I've damaged that artificial joint, but in truth, the swelling is making the damaged nerves hurt in a way they haven't hurt for more than five years. I can barely walk, but my typing ability has returned. I'm icing and icing and icing. Drake isn't letting me walk any more than I have to.
Other bad news, my camera is toast. It hit the ground when I did, and it's mortally wounded. The good news is that the flower pictures were already saved. I'm not putting up any pictures of myself because I really look battered. I don't want to scare any little children. This all just really sucks.
On the positive note: Here are the flowers. https://picasaweb.google.com/jalyss1/2012UtahFlowers?authkey=Gv1sRgCJbc44Xtj8m_pAE#5757763928024853794
My eye looks terrible after the accidental fall on Saturday, but it doesn't even hurt. (If you haven't heard, read back about 2 posts for the details.) The real problem is my foot. I'm worried I've damaged the titantium implant. I should have xrayed it at the Emergency Room on Saturday afternoon, but I didn't realize how bad it was. Now, I really can't walk. Oh, I can move around, but I can't walk more than 50 feet at this point. Ice has been my best friend for the past 5 days - so far, I've used up one ice bin full and 30 lbs of bought ice. 
