Dear Friends,

Did you know that I actually have a "snail mail" correspondence with a person that I've known for 40 years. That correspondence is mostly responsible for deciding to try a blog. I've known Russell since he was 15, and we reconnected about two years ago. I feel like a split personality - - age 16 (I was a year older than him) and age 57. He remembers the 16 year old, just as I remember this wonderful, smart, quirky, delightful boy, but we've spent 21 letters getting to know each other as 50 year olds. I think we all subtly feel duality about ourselves. It's just this correpondence has heightened my awareness of it.

Drake and I were chatting the other day, and he remarked that he doesn't really know who that old guy is in the mirror whose face he shaves every day. And I realized that we don't really don't see our physical selves in the mirror at all, and when we do, it sort of distresses us because the outward appearance doesn't match with our mind's eye of us. I can remember my Gram telling me that she didn't feel any different than when she was 21, yet her hair was white, and her clothes were old fashioned, and she was 75+ at the time. So.........I began to think about what my interior age is. I suspect that it's a different age for every person. What criteria do each of us choose for fixing our interior age? Does our interior age change mercurially, or is it pretty much constant? I can only speak for myself..........

I think I'm 30. I used to be 40. The difference has to do with parenting - now that Sarah's pretty much hatched, and solo flying, I feel younger. When she was home, my interior age had to include me being a mother. Now, I don't really feel much like a mom, hence, my interior age has gone down. My interior age is planted in January of 1981. That was the month we spent in Europe. That was when I felt able to enjoy my adulthood. Old enough to be confident and happy about who I was. I haven't changed that interior perception of myself. I'm still confident, and I'm happy to be who I am. It's only when my body fails me that I have to accept the outer person as reality.

So, what is your REAL age and why? Let me know.