Why do we watch this overly long dragged out train wreck? Drake says every year, "I hate that show. I can learn everything I want to know by listening to NPR Monday morning. I'm not watching." And who's sitting here watching? Yeah. I make no bones about it; I LOVE to watch the Oscars as long as it is DVRed. (Is that a word? Well, it is now.) During the first 40 years that I watched this cheesy show, I had to listen to people say "Thank you" and "Listen to me Suck Up" a zillion ways. I've paid my dues. I don't ever, ever, ever have to listen to Hollywood types recite their list of memorized names again.
The first topic of the show is always the host. Seth McFarlane... Hmm. Surprisingly, his jokes and bits were funny. I really liked the James Kirk/Star Trek bit. His nasty little digs about the Hollywood entertainment industry sort of fulfilled my disdain for these overpaid, narcissistic, make-believers. Speaking of actors, what's up with Jack Nicholson? Have you noticed that he ALWAYS gets to sit on the front row at the Oscars? I wonder if it's like pro basketball? Pay lots of $$ and you can get a court side seat.
One of the good things about this show has been the musical numbers. The Bond songs backed with the graphics brought back lots of fun Bond movie moments. I think the Adele "Skyfall" song was wonderful. She can so sing. I did think her silver sequined heels in about a size 11 were a little distracting in the long shots. I can't figure out how she sings in a neutral accent, but she sounds like she comes from the working class London when she talks during interviews. Another thing that puzzled me about Adele - was that a zip off dress she was wearing - zipped off for her musical number and zipped on for her Oscar acceptance. And nobody can beat Barbara Streisand when it comes to delivering a song. She's the song world's current Frank Sinatra. Didn't Nora Jones just make you feel like you were in the 1950's "21" Club? She definitely won 'Best Short Dress'. (That would be my own made up category - good one, don't you think?)
Oh, but let's talk about why I really watch the Oscars - the dresses, of course. Here are my picks: Numero Uno: Jessica Chastain, Numero Dos: Anne Hathaway, Numero Tres: Kristin Chenoweth. (I know, wild card pick for third.) Numero Quatro: Charlize Theron. Numero Cinco: Zoey Sundana. If you delight in the dresses, you avidly watch the Red Carpet Show. (Again, DVRed is the ONLY way.) Did you know that Regis Philbin started the whole red carpet perp walk in 1979? When Barbara Walters stopped doing her 'special' interview show in 2011, they expanded the RC show to 90 minutes. This year is the first time I can remember than an interviewer didn't just make me roll my eyes and feel embarrassed. I thought Ms. Chenoweth, go you Oklahoma girl, was just downright charming.
Of course, no Oscar show is worth watching if you don't get a chance to say, "UGH, what an ugly dress! What could she have been thinking?" The winner in this category: Amy Adams - bad color, and ugly design - Gray fluffy tulle? Runner up? Jennifer Lawrence - upside down pink puffy flower. This one was hard to understand since her Golden Globe pick was a red dress knockout. Jennifer Garner's dress was pretty on first glance, but I spent way too much time thinking, "How does she sit down?" Yeah, I get it that I'm in the minority here. I've heard, 'loved it' and 'fantastic' about these dresses. Didn't like EITHER the Adams or Lawrence dress.
If you finally need to completely Hollywood OD, check out "E's" After Party show. It's filled with 'wannabes' standing outside 'parties' and sucking up to the 'stars' who will stop and talk. (Oh, and I also recorded the "Fashion Police" tomorrow. I'm hoping that's when they really, really, dish the Oscar dress dirt.)
That's the Oscars from your favorite blog. If you want to know who actually won those little statues, just tune into NPR or Google it. We all know the dresses are really what it's all about. To refresh your dress memory, here's a slide show of 81 dresses (and suits - like who cares?) from the 2012 Oscars.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/17/oscars-2013-red-carpet-photos_n_2707963.html
