The Intrepid Pigeon Fighter's chest swells with sustifiable pride as he declares total victory over the ENEMY! The IPF has vanquished the dreaded pigeons trying to take over his mother's house. As we all know, the IPF declared at the beginning of this battle, "OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!! will these miserable rat birds desecrate my mother's front porch." Your faithful chronicler is happy to report that the pigeons have fled, and the IPF is alive and well. His brilliant battle strategy succeeded beyond his wildest expectations. Well deserved battle decorations are being awarded to the Intrepid Pigeon Fighter.
As we speak, a ticker tape parade is being planned with the IPF waving to adoring masses from the back of a candy apple red convertible. This parade is well deserved, and we are so happy to report that IPF has graciously agreed to help others in ridding their properties of the dreadful rat birds AKA urban rock pigeons. Let's hear it for the Intrepid Pigeon Fighter!
