I think it's time to get in trouble with my readers. Ready? I'm sick of dogs everywhere. Yes, I just said that. This condominium we've rented in San Diego is dog heaven. There's tons and tons of grass. You can walk your dog by circling the building, and I must admit I've yet to see a single dog owner here who isn't picking up the 'mess'. I get that dogs are often the emotional lifelines of older people. I should know; I live in Sun City for half the year. I understand younger people are postponing marriage and are lonely at the end of a long work day. And, if you want to enjoy your dog in your home, fine with me. If you want to walk a quiet, well behaved dog heeled on a leash, go for it.
However, I'm sick to death of hearing 'the yapper' twice a day, every day. Just like that one kid in the class who's a troublemaker and a pot stirrer, this little yapper in our condo invariably snarls, yaps and growls at any other dog it even sees, and then we are off to the races. I'm right at the point of walking out onto the balcony and screaming 'GET A MUZZLE' the next time I hear that little monster.
Here's another big secret I'd like to share with dog owners : Your dog is not a person. It doesn't belong on the couch in your living room. It doesn't need a chair at the dinner table. It doesn't need health insurance. I'm not interested in having breakfast, lunch, or dinner with it in a restaurant. I'm not too thrilled about doggie cookies displayed in the bakery window. I don't care if they are "baked locally with human-grade grain-free ingredients in the fun flavors of blueberry, bacon, peanut putter, meatball and ginger". (Just wondering what breed of dog eats blueberry or ginger?) It shouldn't be sitting in an airline seat. I don't think it cares if the feeding dish is ergonomically designed to ease neck strain. Hiking trails are for people not dogs, and definitely not for dogs off leashes. Sames goes for beaches. For some reason, if it's a trail or a beach, dog owners don't feel obliged to pick up the feces. They just leave it for the rest of us to enjoy.
I don't want my shoe bitten. I don't want my shoe laces nibbled. I don't want my pants leg slobbered on. I don't want dog hairs on any article of my clothing. I don't want to be jumped on. I don't want to be crotch sniffed. I don't want to be leg humped. I don't want to be barked at. I don't want to be growled at and particularly with bared teeth. I especially don't want to smile and be gracious when your dog rips, tears, or destroys something that belongs to me.
And if all that isn't bad enough, here's another newsflash: Holidays are also for people, not dogs. Your dog doesn't want or need a Halloween costume. It doesn't like to trick or treat since it shouldn't be eating candy. It doesn't need an Easter basket with doggie safe chocolate. I'm not particularly interested in receiving a Christmas card from your animal. And, for Pete's sake, no dog likes fireworks.
Let's play the age old children's game of 'which one is not like the others'. Here are your three choices: service dogs, working dogs and emotional support dogs. Yep, emotional support dogs do not have either the legal status or training of the other two. Talk about a scam: Buy a blanket that says 'emotional support dog' with some bogus seal embroidered on it, and that dog owner thinks he or she can bring the animal anywhere. Nope. Those silly little dogs do not have the same legal standing as real service dogs. Your emotional support dog does not have the legal right to be in the shopping mall, the movie theater, the restaurant, and especially not the grocery store which is just flat out against the health regulations in every state.
Shame on every business owner who is turning a blind eye and allowing these bogus dogs where they don't belong. Just think about it for a minute - there easily could have been a dog riding in that grocery cart you just put your food into. I make it a particular point to COMPLAIN to any assistant manager or store manager or restaurant manager I can find about this travesty. Every single one of them has said, "I don't like it either, but it's impossible to stop." No, it isn't. You post a sign: Service Dogs only. You turn these other dogs away for a couple of days, and problem solved.
At this point, you're thinking, "Gosh, Jan, you don't like dogs?" Wrong. I like dogs. On the floor, in your house and not barking outside of mine.
