The best English teacher I've ever been personally acquainted with, shared these language gems with me. I got distracted away from writing this blog by Spring Training. (FYI to Ranger fans: The Rangers are very frustrating to watch this spring.) Anyway, here are some plays on words that intrigue 'lexophiles'. I had to look this word up, so I'll save those of you as clueless as me: Lexophile means: A lover of words especially in word games and puzzles. My husband and daughter are a pair of these creatures, so this condition seems entirely normal to me. We've always been the only people I knew who would pull out reference books between bites of food at the dinner table to settle some question or look up an answer during a discussion.
These lexophiles are not people, but instead are sentences with double ententes or puns worked into them. Apparently, each year there is a contest at http://allpoetry.com/contest/2628792-Contest-for-Lexophiles to see who can construct the cleverest of these gems. For your enjoyment, here are this year's submissions. The winner in 2014 is the final one.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've see a mall.
Police were called to a daycare center where a three year old was resisting a rest.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto a upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she's dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
These are rather like one trick ponies. I know after I read them once, I was done with them as soon as the smile left my face. However, I found myself much more fascinated with thinking about what kind of person writes these. I spent about 5 minutes wondering if I could write one of these, and at the end of that brief period was unwilling to invest any more time or effort. I suppose people who come up with these either have epiphanies or very little else to do with their time. Then I turned to the idea of the judges - my favorite was the one about the 'egg' - I mean, really, what is the judging criteria? Isn't the BEST one a totally subjective choice? Finally, I realized I'd been thinking and writing about these for over an hour. Sigh..... The mark of the true lexophile - the person, not the sentence.
