The Intrepid Pigeon Fighter was cautiously optimistic at the end of this faithful chronicler's last report. As of today, the confidence of the IPF remains high. There have been new developments in the ongoing Pigeon War..........
The pigeons can now consistently identify the IPF, and they fly off the front porch light and awning rails as soon as he is spotted. He doesn't even get a chance to touch the hose before the terrified pigeons take flight. However......... The IPF discovered that after a couple of hours, the pigeons felt secure enough to return to their roosting sites on the porch. In a daring covert action, this faithful chronicler joined the battle.
Upon returning from a evening of bridge, the covert strategy employing the faithful chronicler was put into motion. The IPF walked directly into the house not even peeking at the enemy perching on the porch. This faithful chronicler nonchalantly strolled to the hose, turned it on, and edged around the side of the house to quietly uncoil the water weapon. Leaping from concealment, this faithful chronicler scored direct hits using the 'stream' setting of the hose weapon. Squawking, the enemy flew away. The IPF initiated the same strategy over the next two days. Naturally, the dreaded enemy now associates this faithful chronicler with the hose weapon, and it is only effective when we can catch them sleeping. However, the enemy is using the roosting site less and less.
The IPF has opened up another front: Recruiting the neighbors to 'wire' the nesting sites on their homes. So far two more homes have been wired. Also, the next door neighbors have filled the 'runoff' spot where the pigeons have been watering. The IPF has also solicited advice from long time residents. The most bizarre advice? One woman said a great way to get rid of pigeons is to put corn soaked in alcohol on the roof of their favorite house. As they eat the corn, they become drunk and either fall off the roof or land on the ground in a stupor. At that point, you simply stroll out to the yard, scoop them up and WRING THEIR NECKS. Even the IPF was a bit taken aback at the blood thirsty solution.
As I conclude, I'm getting ready to sneak outside, and using stealth, try to deploy the water weapon. Wish me luck.............
