My New Year's Resolutions

 Isn't this a strange new year?  We are all praying that 2021 isn't as horrible as 2020.  I certainly don't need to enumerate my reasons for categorizing 2020 as horrible.  You can fill that in for yourself.  I guess the real question is how do we turn our faces to the future when we will have all known so much uncertainty, and fear?  The generations who lived through  World War II could probably tell us a lot about how to cope with so much fear and loss.  The COVID virus deaths are fast approaching the number of Americans killed during World War II, and are projected to surpass that number.  Americans who lived during that war endured many years of loss, sacrifice and uncertainty.

Unfortunately, as a people we have not been able to equate the COVID pandemic with a war.  Instead, as a population there has been a backlash against science and public health recommendations which has made the pandemic even worse. When the last pandemic swept the world: the Spanish Flu of 1918-19, Americans accepted the guidance of public health officials as the country tried to cope with a disease which would kill 2.5% of those who contracted it - 675,000 people.  The reaction to the COVID virus has been tribal rather than national.  Public health agencies have been politicalized.  And, I fear the acceptance of the vaccine is going to be equally tribal and political.  Now, the virus has mutated, and no one knows how this mutation will react to the vaccines soon to be offered.  One more anxiety to cope with as 2020 ends.

The vaccines have been compared as the light at the end of the tunnel of COVID.  It's important to understand the light is a pinpoint in the distance.  There's a long long way to go to turn that pinpoint into a sunrise.  Since there are still some hard times to get through as 2021 begins, I've decided by New Year's resolutions are going to be along the following lines:

1)  Practice kindness. 

2)  Count your blessings when anxiety overwhelms.

3)  Make your 'go to' reaction sympathy rather than anger.

4)  Consider the possibility that people who think differently from me may be deluded rather than enemies.

5)  Confront my own racism.  This is a huge issue in the United States - no matter what your race.

We are all affected by it.  If you think you aren't affected, ask yourself this question:  How many friends do I have that are of a different race than I am?  The smaller that number, the more you need to confront yourself because you've never heard directly from someone you know about how a different race is affected by racism.

6)  Practice tolerance.  Also known as ' Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.'

7)  Donate to a charity - even the smallest amount can make a difference.

8)  Support local culture.  Oh, are these people hurting after 2020, and all they do is make my life richer.

9)  Contact someone who has been isolated by the pandemic.  

10) Smile.

Yes, yes, I know - no one can live up to all those resolutions, but it's not right to not even try. I'm going to give them my best shot.  I invite you to join me or to ponder how your personal resolutions can make you feel better and more hopeful in 2021.         

   

           

Catalogs

 It's December 5th, and I've been thinking about catalogs.  Remember in the yonder days when your mailbox would be filled to overflowing with glossy paged catalogs at this time of year?  Nowadays, there are only two kinds of catalogs which arrive via the mail:  The tissue paper thin, few paged, missives which are only a step up from the deals of the week at CVS, and the second kind printed on 25lb glossy paper showing stuff which costs in excess of $1000 per item.  I've gotten one of both of those this week addressed to previous tenants.  Since I'm off snail mail lists, I don't get catalogs anymore.

I was at early adopter of on-line shopping.  So, you can say I'm one of the people who killed mailbox catalogs.  I've been shopping on-line since people confidentially told me my credit card numbers would be stolen if I allowed it to be used in on-line purchases.  Of course, the only time my credit card numbers have been compromised is when I've used them at brick/mortar stores.  Still, I miss catalogs.  

Why, you say?  Well, just the number of products appealing to every social class was always fascinating.  There was the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book which has always featured over the top gifts for the rich and often not so discerning.  This year I was amused to discover a black Baccarat crystal vase for $2,050 - but hurry, there's only one left!  Or how about the Astro Puffers, only $1095, 

or the white fudge covered corn twists.  Surprise!  These are on sale!  (Only $16.50 down from $22).  That's for 6 oz - smaller than a Whopper meat patty.  The highest priced item in the 'Book' this year is a $46,000 watch, and the lowest priced item is the Cucumber Slick Mask for $5 followed by the 'best seller' a $6 spray hand sanitizer (2 full oz!)  This catalog (even if they call it a 'book) was always good for a lot of laughs and, 'can you believe this!', and 'who would buy that! exclamations.  I miss getting this one.  I did notice in this pandemic year there was LOTS of sleepwear and LOTS of food.  

At the other end of the spectrum was Lillian Vernon.  This was an actual woman who founded a catalog business to monogram low cost items in a matter of days and ship them back out.  (Monogramed items used to be afforded or even used only by rich people since only high end purchases were monogrammed.)  Lillian Vernon's first catalog came out in 1956, had 120 pages and shilled 750 items.  This woman had her obituary in the NY Times, and was the first woman owned company traded on the New York Stock Exchange.  Today, the bulk of items on-line at the Lillian Vernon website are for children's items most of which can be monogrammed such as your personalized $39.95 bucket o' dinosaurs, or your $69.95 personalized castle sleeping bag with unicorn.  (FYI - there are 86 unicorn items in this year's Lillian Vernon.)

Another type of catalog which always made it appearance around Christmas time was the one who sold you overpriced items for your rustic get away cabin.  It was chock full of 'moose' and 'bear' decorative items and heavy furniture.  I love this year's Allegany coffee table made out of reclaimed railroad ties for only $399.95. (Limited stock!)  And, then there's the $3,999 English Hutch [image coming soon!] which is over 8' long by over '8 high and weighs 400 pounds - shipping extra, but it's 'white glove'!  You can buy it in 13 shades of stained white pine. 

Also appearing at Christmas time in my mailbox were the 'food catalogs'.  The Swiss Colony, family run since 1926, was known for 'sweets', but the most famous when I was growing up was Hickory Farms, established in the 1950's selling cheese and processed meat products.  It turns out Harry & David was actually founded in 1910 as Bear Creek Orchards out of Medford, Oregon.  They changed the name to Harry & David in the 1950's and brought fresh fruit into the gift giving picture particularly, apples and pears.  Then, there's the Wisconsin Cheese Company (self explanatory), and nut growers also got into the catalog business.  There have always been local candy companies such as Cerreta's in Arizona and Lamme's in Texas and See's in California trying to become nationally popular.  And, if you live in Texas, the Collin Street Bakery has been selling the Corsicana DeLuxe Fruitcake since 1896.  (I have a Corsicana fruitcake tin I inherited from my mother.)  There are a plethora of specialty food catalogs:  Omaha Steaks, The Popcorn Factory, Wolferman's, Di Bruni Bros., - the list is endless these days.  Food is the catalog merchandise - even if the catalog is on-line - that I'm still most likely to purchase at Christmas.  Here's the $299.95 gift basket from Harry & David  for someone who is throwing an illicit party during the pandemic.  No shopping or cooking required.

In the 1980's I had one friend who had a huge holiday shopping list since she bought for not only her friends but her current and oftentimes past co-workers out of catalogs.  Her shopping time began at 4:00am - her normal time to get up.  This woman believed in hand written cards and notes, and she also liked to shop at this ungodly hour.  Her physical catalog collection at Christmastime was just this side of unbelievable.  I could collect a three foot high pile of catalogs from her house and barely make a dent.  I could be happily occupied with 'on the throne' reading material until bathing suit time.  Ah, how I miss those catalogs.  

     

   

 

This Year's Christmas Quiz

 My, my, how time flies.  I just wrote my 20th annual Christmas letter.  Actually, I've been writing annual Christmas letters for about 40 years, but technology allowed me to word process them for the past twenty years.  What's fascinating (for me) is each year's Christmas letter is a snapshot of the year.  In 2000, Drake and I were both still working and Sarah Lynn was in high school.  Now, 20 years later, she's married with four college degrees and a kid, and we are all living in New York City.  Yes, time flies.  

We all know that 2020 has been all about COVID all the time EXCEPT when it's been about politics.  I'm pretty disgusted about the politics, and you can draw your own conclusions as to the source of my disgust.  I wake up every morning thankful that yesterday the virus didn't lay anyone low in our family.  Of course, the two people who have been the most impacted are my 93 year old mother-in-law and our two year old grandson.  Ironically,  the impact has been pretty much for the same reasons.  It's the physical lockdown of my mother-in-law's independent living situation, and the lockdown of all the available places for enrichment for the toddler. 

These are the kinds of costs which are intangible.  The tangible ones, of course, are the deaths and the lingering problems getting the virus is causing both physically and mentally.  Then, there are the hardships revolving around childcare, job loss, and business failures.  Since the problems have been so monumental, it's been hard for me to understand the lack of cohesiveness in the country as we struggle to fight this virus and its effects.  Hopefully, soon, this will all be in the rearview mirror of our lives.  All I can say is wear your mask and stay out of enclosed rooms and spaces with strangers as much as you can.

That said, the holidays keep rolling around.  I've put out my Christmas Carol quiz twice (including last year), and I will resupply it upon anyone's demand.  However, this year here's a new Christmas Traditions Matching Game.  It's pretty easy, and it will probably be enjoyed mostly by children.  Some adults WILL say, "Oh, I didn't know that.", so I thought it was worth reproducing here.  It's in two sheets.  One the questions, and the other the answers.  All you have to do is match the question with the answer.    Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year.  Here's to 2021 being better.

1. The mother of Jesus

2. This symbol represents the Star of Bethlehem that guided the Three Wisemen to Baby Jesus. 

3. A medieval custom of singing and dancing around a Christmas tree. 

4. Rang to announce the birth of Jesus. They still ring today. 

5. A manger scene representing the Jesus' place of birth. 

6. For many years, private notes of good tidings were sent at Christmas time. In 1843, Sir Henry Cole had 1000 special designed cards printed that started this Christmas tradition. 

7. Began with pre-Christian Romans who gave sweet cakes to their senators. 

8. The place where Baby Jesus slept. It is part of the Creche. 

9. The animals chosen by St. Nicholas to pull his sleigh. 

10. Four candles placed on a wreath. One candle is lit each Sunday before Christmas in anticipation of Christ's birthday. 

11. There is a legend associated with the beginning of this symbol: St. Nick, who wanted to remain anonymous and help a poor family, threw gold coins down their chimney. They fell into a stocking that was hanging there to dry. 

12. These told the shepherds of the birth of Jesus. 

13. Sprigs of this symbol were hung over the doorways of early French and English households showing that Christ’s birth was celebrated by the family. 

14. A real person. He was a kind bishop who brought presents to children and needy people. 

15. They came to the manger to honor Baby Jesus. 

16. The animals the wise men rode following the star to where Jesus was born. 

17. This flower was brought to the U.S. by Dr. J.R. Poinsett in 1825. He was the first United States ambassador to Mexico. Because of its flame color this symbol is sometimes called the Christmas Star. 

18. The husband of Mary. 

19. This symbol is full of spices and fruits. It represents the exotic treasures of the East that the Wise men brought to Jesus. 

20. Scholars who came to see Jesus drawn to him by an astrological phenomenon – a bright new star. 

21. These represent the light that Jesus brought to earth. 

22. The Christ child took shelter for a night under a pine tree. When the tree realized that it was caring for Jesus, tears of happiness fell from its branches. The tears froze into this symbol.

________________________________________________________________________________

1.    Advent Wreath   ______

2.    Angel     ______

3.    Bells       ______

4.    Camels  ______

5.    Candles ______

6.    Christmas Cards      ______

7.    Christmas Caroling  ______

8.    Christmas Cookies  ______

9.    Christmas Stocking  ______

10.          Creche       ______

11.          Holly  ______

12.          Icicles         ______

13.          Joseph       ______

14.          Manger       ______

15.          Mary  ______

16.          Mince Meat Pie    ______

17.          Poinsettia   ______

18.          Reindeer    ______

19.          Saint Nicholas     ______

20.           Shepherds          ______

21.          Stars ______

22.         Three Wise men  ______

The Holidays

 Halloween.  One more holiday instead of making us smile is filling us with anxiety.  Is there going to be trick or treating?  I guess if there is, the candy givers and receivers masks will at least seem like costumes instead of annoying burdens.  Well, there was trick or treating in our neighborhood of Brooklyn but with a twist.  I did have to applaud the ingenuity of some of the candy givers in our neighborhood.  A long PVC tube affixed to the stair railings of the brownstones - candy dropped in at the top of the stairs exiting straight into the child's Halloween bucket at the bottom of the stairs.  No exposure to COVID, and yet, everyone enjoying the child's delight.  One house rigged up a ramp and a lego truck descended with candy.  

Our little bird enjoyed his Halloween.  We did our Trick or Treating very early (not even dark yet) because we didn't want him overwhelmed by the older kids, and we knew he wouldn't last long.  He did manage to say, "Trick or Treat" and even a prompted "Thank you" at most houses.  Since he doesn't normally eat any processed sugar, we all got to experience that delightful toddler sugar 'high' as he happily gobbled some of his candy booty.  Worried about whether or not there would even be trick or treating, our little bird got to go to a 45 acre farm with animal petting during the day.  In true two year old fashion he was very excited about the cow (who pooped!), the tractor, and the pumpkins.

More disturbing than children collecting candy were the Halloween party goers.  The millennials have been insisting for years Halloween is costume party night for adults instead of a children's holiday, I've been worried they are going to insist on cramming together in masquerade gatherings to pursue their Saturday night alcohol poisoning.  Safety measures are masks PLUS social distancing not one or the other.  

Hard on the heels of Halloween comes Thanksgiving.  Already public health officials are expressing concern.  Will Thanksgiving be the match that turns the hundreds of COVID hotspots, into a conflagration?  More Americans travel on Thanksgiving than any other holiday - even Christmas -, and with the pandemic fatigue sweeping the country, well, how many people will resist the pull of traveling for one or the other holiday?

It's easy to convince yourself you can travel because, well, you're healthy.  You feel just fine.  Your kids are fine.  This attitude doesn't take into account a fairly significant percentage of COVID cases are asymptomatic.  Family gatherings can turn deadly not just for granny, but also for younger people.  And, that doesn't even begin to calculate the infection risk traveling by train, bus, or airplane to your family gathering.  

Of course, you can't just get a COVID test to verify you don't have the disease.  Well, you say, "CVS Drugstores have 'drive through testing' by appointment".  Here's the catch:  If that's your plan, understand the testing requirements.  If you use CVS (or a similar testing source), you have to answer a series of questions designed to determine if you have been exposed in a high risk area (hospital, prison, etc.) or if you have symptoms.  If you answer 'NO', then you don't qualify to just get a test (with a 2 - 3 day turnaround, maybe) because you want one unless you are willing to pay approximately $139 (at CVS) out of your pocket for each test.  Some insurance company rules about COVID tests might circumvent these CVS rules, but if you need a test to travel, and you don't want to lay out the $139, contact your health insurance company well in advance.  

New travel restrictions have just been announced for arriving in New York if you are a non-commuter.  You must show a negative COVID test when you arrive, be quarantined for three days, and then show another negative test.  Anyone can do the arithmetic.  Family of four:  No symptoms.  Over $1000 dollars added to your travel cost.  For lots and lots of people these types of restrictions will fuel anger, sadness and resentment as our major holidays fall prey to the pandemic.  Railing against the pandemic is as pointless as being angry and resentful about the weather.    

Our rituals have been taking a beating for months.  Now, Thanksgiving, Eid Al-Fitr, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanza are going to depend on electronic media and other creative ways to celebrate this year.  Even worse than using SKYPE or ZOOM to contact friends and family over the holidays are the people who are going to ignore the reality of the pandemic and pretend there's no problem as they drive to see the relatives with whom they have not created a virus free pod.  Just because they are your extended family doesn't mean you can't get sick.        

Be smart.  Be safe.  Take the long view.  This too will pass.  If someone you love sickens and dies or even becomes very ill because you are tired of the pandemic, how do you live with yourself in the aftermath of an impulsive, short sighted decision of how you managed your holidays this year?           

Rituals

The beloved grandson's second birthday is later this month.  The birthday plan is an outdoor party (with masks) at Pier 6.  This isn't an amusement park; it's repurposed land along the East River in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge.  The old abandoned piers have become a green ribbon of a park on the shores of the East River transformed with picnic tables, playgrounds, volleyball courts, basketball courts, gardens, restaurants, and walking paths.  Any two year old's birthday party isn't breaking social news except in pandemic times.  Drake and I have been so blessed to be here in a 'family pod' since March able to celebrate these events. 

Over the past eight months most of us have NOT celebrated Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day, July 4th, Labor Day and the start of school.  We've put weddings, graduations, memorials, and funerals on hold or simply cancelled them.   Women have delivered babies surrounded by no loved ones except their husband/significant other if they were lucky.  Visiting a hospital room or a sick friend is like trying to accompany someone to an airplane gate.  We've given up restaurant visits, shopping at the mall, nightclubs, amusement parks, bars, and house parties not to mention hair cuts.     

If this psychological pain isn't enough, many of us have been suffering months of physical pain because of so many elective surgeries being cancelled.  If it's your knee or hip that needs to be replaced, it doesn't feel very elective.  In the peak of the virus this past spring, I've wondered where did all the heart attack victims and stroke victims receive care?  How did the cancer patients fare?  And, it was certainly a bad time to have an accident and need an emergency room.  Currently, there are no hospitals under duress, but revisiting the trauma of stressed and swamped hospital services seems to be looming on the horizon as more and more states have zooming COVID infection rates.

This pandemic has been like the famed Chinese water torture described in the 16th century as victims being driven insane with drops of water dripping onto the forehead for long periods of time.  Losing so many rituals of society one after another with no real end in sight coupled with the real fear of dying does seem like that type of torture.

Currently, there's COVID fatigue.  Yeah, I get that.  To make a comparison, if you're in the classroom, you can only expect about seven minutes of avid attention any time the teacher is talking.  Well, lots of people we trust a lot less than teachers have been talking for a lot longer than seven minutes about COVID.  

So, let's reframe the discussion using irrefutable facts to reset our perspective about this damn pandemic using a comparison of COVID deaths to USA deaths in wars/spanish flu pandemic:

Number of Deaths

Civil War:  618,000 out of 31 million people (.02% of the population)

WWI: 116,000 out of 103 million people  (about .001% of the population)

Spanish Flu Pandemic of 1918:  675,000 out of 103 million people (an additional .006% of the population) 

[total: .007% of the population WWI & Spanish Flu Pandemic combined]

WWII:  407,000 - (.003% of the population) 

Korean War:  33,000 - (.0002% of the population) 

Vietnam War:  51,000 - (0002% of the population)

Afghan/Iraq Wars:  8,000 - negligible

COVID:  219,000:  (.0006 of the population)

From this perspective, COVID has already killed a bigger percentage of the population than the Korean War, the Vietnam War and the Afghan/Iraq Wars combined.  And COVID is not finished killing us.  

These death numbers in relationship to the population makes our feelings of stress and fatigue more understandable.  Grieving the loss of our rituals, and then the crapshoot of who just barely gets sick and who dies from COVID does make this pandemic more like a war situation.  Loved ones who have sent a son or daughter off to a war miss them desperately at ritual events and suffer every day wondering if they will be wounded or killed.  Sure sounds familiar to what's happening today, doesn't it?

How have we gotten through wars in the past?  By pulling together.  By being mindful we are all experiencing the same stressors.  I've talked at length to my parents and in-laws and their friends about World War II.  Yes, USA history nerd here. The basic overview:  Everyone understood they were personally responsible for doing whatever it took to win the war.  Whatever sacrifice.  Whatever inconvenience.  Whatever.  The war management wasn't perfect.  Everyone knew we were losing the key battles initially.  Instead of backbiting, anger, and division, every understood what winning World War II was going to take.  Rethink your COVID fatigue and stress in those terms, and let's follow JFK's famous quote:  "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."   We need all of us to rise to the fight.   

Hello 70!

Today I'm 70, and the Sweetpea (our fabulous daughter) is 35 tomorrow.  Today, 35 years ago, I'd come from the obstetrician who gave me the bad news she thought I was a week away from delivering the baby.  So, big as the proverbial house, I trudged around the French Quarter, damp to my underwear, first having lunch with the Honey (ever lovin' husband) at our favorite restaurant, and second walking deep in the Quarter to the perfumery (Hove) for refills on the same perfumes I still wear today.  

The temperature was still a reflection of the sticky summertime heat.  (Weather wise, the 'heat' of the summer didn't break until two days after the Sweetpea was born.  I can remember lamenting I was stuck inside the hospital on the first cool day we'd had since April!)  My 35th birthday wasn't over, though.  We went out for dinner with friends that night at Commander's Palace, famous NOLA restaurant established in 1893.  It's still going strong.

 The walk around the French Quarter in the extreme heat and humidity must have done the trick because I went into labor on the way home from the famous restaurant, and voila!  New baby girl joined us at noon the next day on September 26th.  This is the only birthday year I'm exactly twice her age.

Now, anyone who knows me knows I love birthdays.  My attitude is there's no such thing as a bad birthday.  I don't care how old you are; a birthday is a special day.  One of the big problems the virus has caused and is causing all over the country right now is our lack of rituals.  Believe me when I tell you I KNOW how fortunate I've been to be able to see my child and grandchild and son-in-law whenever I've wanted during this pandemic.  We've celebrated birthdays, Mother's Day and Father's Day.  

One of my birthday gifts was a renewal of my Met membership, and we returned to the Metropolitan Museum of Art today for our first visit since February.  It's just reopened in a limited way.  The number of people is controlled, so the galleries and halls seemed mostly empty.  There's no food service, just bottled water, and lots of X's and O's on the floors for social distancing.  I enjoyed the exhibition commemorating the 150th anniversary of the museum.  It's been waiting to be admired since March when the Met closed.  It was worth the wait. 

Thirty lbs of Joy (AKA 'the Huckleberry) at 23 months was introduced to his first museum today.  He loved it, and he once again proved my theory: Children rise to your expectation.  His behavior was impeccable.  He ate on the go.  He took a nap in his stroller with just a few gentle suggestions from his mama.  He outlasted my feet.  However, I suspect when we quiz him tomorrow when we gather for birthday dinner (Mine, the Sweetpea's and the Honey's), he will be mostly excited about the subway and bus ride to the venue.

As this wonderful day has wound down, my body hurts, and my feet are just laughable after having logged more than 10,000 steps today.  None of that matters.  I had a lovely day with most of my family.  I got presents, several birthday cards from friends as well as texts, electronic cards, and not just one bouquet of flowers, but two.  One from our pseudo son who is celebrating his 30th birthday today in Olympic National Park, and the other from my Honey whose birthday is coming up in a few days.

     

  

I'm a blessed woman, and it's my Gram's strawberry pie as our birthday dessert for tomorrow's dinner.  In our family, we know how to prolong our birthday delights.

Finally, for all my art friends, here are pictures of some of the items included in the 150th Anniversary of the Met exhibition.  I purposely didn't photograph things I'd already seen, so this is just a taste of the exhibition.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZSYofDMpHJnecyjz5

Are We Having Fun Yet?

 Just for giggles, I looked back in my address book (no, I don't keep a paper one - it's electronic), for all our addresses over the past ten years.  There are sixteen addresses.  I didn't count the house we lived in for five days.  That's a funny story.  We have friends who were moving from Austin to Houston, and they leased us their house in Austin for the price of the utilities.  We agreed to keep it in 'show condition' and allow realtors to market/show the house to their clients.  Well, I must have been 'on' during one of the first showings because the house sold five days after we arrived, and we had to move!  I also didn't tally in the address count our Hurst house of 20 years which we left in 2010.   And I didn't count the ten addresses the year we trekked across Canada.  So, we've moved sixteen times.

What made me think about all of our previous moves was the sheer HELL this move from one part of Brooklyn to another has been.  None of our other moves was as difficult as this one and that includes the move up here from Arizona.  I've written about the Verizon problems.  Only 12 hours on the telephone [thanks, Drake], and lo and behold, we got an appointment for a service tech to show up, check all the existing equipment and install a magic box out of which flows internet.  

However, the Verizon idiocy was just the warm up act. First, let me introduce you to the new apartment.  It was built in 1982 - a good thing since it's wider than 22 feet - the typical width of a Brooklyn brownstone in this area.  22 feet wide means silly little things like bathrooms, modern kitchens, and closets are tortuously overlaid on these long, narrow spaces.  They reminded me of a badly designed house trailer.  So, I was thrilled to get a 'modern' apartment in an area which is woefully short of apartments built later than 1929.  

The apartment also has a modern kitchen recently remodeled with top flight appliances, and it's AIR CONDITIONED with a real system instead of noisy window units.  It actually has two bathrooms  - another almost unheard of novelty in this neighborhood.  The downside is it's a 'parlor' unit - meaning you have to trudge up a flight of stairs to reach it.  [In our case, that's 13 steps.  I should have known it was an omen.]

The owner was very enthusiastic when we signed the lease about six weeks prior to our move in date because he was having the outside of the apartment building painted, and he was going to 'redo' the stairs.  He assured us this would all be completed long before we would move in.  Drake was pretty insistent in getting the owner to understand the dates, so the job would be finished prior to our move-in.

Do you see where this is going?  Yep, we arrived with our moving truck to discover workmen laying outdoor tile over the porch, AND the 13 step staircase (thank heaven it was actually THERE) was covered in tarp.  The workers start insisting we can't possibly go up our stairs and cross the porch to move our furniture/possessions inside.   Then, the comedy really started.

We were then told the 'plan' was for the movers to use the neighbor's stairs, cross his porch where the workers had handily taken down the wrought iron divider between our porch and his.  There were just a couple of tiny weeny problems.  There was only ten inches of walkway between a series of big unmovable planters all the way down the length of the neighbor's porch.  Not nearly enough clearance for a dolly with a piece of furniture balanced on it.  Oh, and when you miraculously arrive at our porch, the movers were supposed to step onto a 2x8 inch plank, balance, and then jump into our entry foyer.  

Good plan, don't you think?  People are beginning to wave arms at this point, and I'm saying unkind (but not profane) things quite loudly.  I'm very proud of myself for my lack of profanity since I was spitting angry.  To top all of this, the neighbor comes out of HIS house, and we discover no one bothered to ask him if his property could be used! 

Drake, being the very definition of patience, in contrast to me who is like Vesuvius at this point, finally gets the workers to contact their 'boss' who agrees we have the right to use our own staircase and move in.   He was totally mystified and according to him, completely uninformed of our move in date.  Yeah, right.  That's why his working crew took down the barrier between the neighbor's porch and ours. 

The final solution was the 'boss' would bring over large pieces of 4x8 foot plywood to overlay the newly laid tiles on the porch.  Oh, and did I mention ALL of the concrete at ground level had been jack hammered up?  What was left was four feet of mud between the gate at the sidewalk and the bottom of our stairs.  It would also be plywooded.  

The 'boss' insisted it would be fifteen minutes, TOPS, and furniture would be headed across the ground level plywood, up the 13 steps, across the porch plywood and into the new apartment.  Our moving crew leader is busily snapping pictures on his iphone of damages he sees to the steps when the tarp is removed prior to his crew setting foot on them.  One hour after the conversation with the 'boss', our movers are still twiddling their thumbs, well, playing with phones, and waiting.  Steam is coming out of my ears.  I was so angry I had to retreat inside our apartment before I said/did something inappropriately outrageous because I was so furious.

First, I couldn't believe this was happening AT ALL.  The owner's response when Drake called his lake house in upstate New York was, "Oh, I thought all that work was done."  [How stupid does this yoyo think we are?]  Second, the 'delay' was costing $190 an hour for the idle movers.  Third, what a great way to meet your new next door neighbor!  Fourth, if the Verizon gods were thwarted, who knew when we'd get the magical internet?

Drake in his solve the problem fashion managed to make peace with the neighbor, apologize to the movers for wasting their time, and get the workers to back off the area we needed to use.  He never even raised his voice.  What a guy!  I also get points for retreating and only muttering angry sentences out the open window to anyone within earshot.  It didn't take long for the worker bees to move out of hearing.  One and a half hours after we arrived - 15 minutes my ass -, furniture finally started to flow up the stairs.

Other than a hitch with the gas meter being inaccessible, and the Verizon tech also having to come back to switch on the magic box, this move deteriorated into the mundane of slow hard work.  15,000 steps in three days, and we're moved in.  Shoot me an email if you need the new address.  We'll be here for Christmas, and I love those Christmas cards.  Let me just say in closing, this apartment had better be fabulous.    

Ludicrous, but All Too Common

Whenever Drake begins waving his arms and shouting at me about on-line interface with tech companies like Verizon or ATT or Uber or ________, I get exasperated with him because there's no possibility for him (or anybody else) to change the situation.  Here's our latest blood pressure elevating interaction.

We're moving.  Drake, trying to be proactive, went on-line to get our internet service with Verizon switched to the new apartment on our move date.  Simple, right?  Not so much.  Midway through the 'process' on-line, the system asked him to call Customer Service to complete the transaction.  This happened at 3:30 pm in the afternoon.  He promptly called, and after a wait in excess of thirty minutes, he finally got connected with Customer Service. They called up his account and disconnected him.  Five minutes later, literally five minutes later, our internet was poof, gone.

Four hours later, with both of us alternatively holding on the phone for literally HOURS, and after the creation of a 'temporary account', our internet was restored to our current address, and supposedly, it's going to activate at our new address on move-in date with a service call thrown in to update the equipment.  

Anybody want to take a bet the service at the new address doesn't activate?  [No?  Pity.  I figured I could make some $$$.]  Apparently, if you go on-line (as recommended by Verizon), and ask for a new activation at a different address, your current service is deactivated immediately.  I'm assuming the switch to 'Customer Service' is supposed to block this.  However, IF you get disconnected, which everyone knows happens all the time, your internet stops working.  

Here's the surprise part:  Then, you don't have access to the telephone numbers you need to fix the problem.  We were both wrung out, angry, frustrated, and just downright tired after losing four hours of our lives over this debacle.

The next day rolls around, and we're still losing time trying to get a tech company to do something minor like change the address of the account, and send out a tech to switch out the out-moded equipment.  Drake has been on the 'chat' feature on the website trying to verify what we were finally told yesterday.  And, wait for it, yes, it's still screwed up.  He's muttering words like "ludicrous", "just forget the internet", and yes, once more after dealing with this for two hours, it's still not resolved.   

I'm certain everyone who reads this is currently thinking about his or her latest duel with the 'Customer Service' department of various on-line providers.  I personally only know of ONE company I deal with on-line who gets Customer Service right.  Just one.  Getting to a human being is getting harder and harder.  Can you imagine what life is going to be like if you're fighting your way through the maze to get to a robot?  It's going to happen, folks, and not in your children's lifetime. It's going to happen in your lifetime.

Am I "bah, humbug" about technology?  No, not at all.  Consolidation of medical and pharmacy information has been a resounding success in helping the person you consider 'your doctor' make informed choices about steering your medical care.  I like my doctor reviewing all the test results, surgeries, and summaries of my appointments with the various specialists I've seen.  I like being able to have my own medical records at my fingertips.  This is a boon when you travel as much as we have over the past ten years.

I like having telephone numbers and addresses for everyone and everything I need in my pocket.  I like having a map of the world, and directions on how to get to any destination.  I like having an encyclopedia, a library, a television, a movie theater, a restaurant guide with reviews, and the biggest shopping mall in the world in my hand anytime I feel the need to know, be entertained, or shop.  

And, I like delivery!  Long before the advent of the internet, I found shopping at a big box store to be a major waste of time.  I was an early adopter of on-line.  Being adept at obtaining on-line delivery services has been a major plus for us during the pandemic.  Not only have we benefited, but we've been  able to help Drake's mother get items she needs even though we are 2500 miles away from Arizona.  

New York City has led the way in the delivery lifestyle where only a few people own cars.  You either walk or take transit to get what you want bringing along your own wheeled cart, or you go on-line and have what you want delivered.  Mostly, if you buy face to face, it's from 'mom and pop' stores.  In this way, NYC leads in the on-line lifestyle, and at the same time is also a throw-back to shopping on Main Street.

The new neighborhood we are moving into is a perfect example of this duality.  We are living in the biggest urban area in the United States, but in reality we are actually going to be living in a town of about 15,000 people.  There are three commercial streets in the town (called a neighborhood in NYC speak) on which there are small stores.  There's one large grocery store; one specialty grocery store (think organic); and several convenience/deli stores.  The rest of the commerce consists of small retail stores, a funeral home, some medical/vision type places, and two retail drug stores.  The old movie theater has been renovated, and it shows movies.  There are no 'big box' stores.  That type of commerce is only found on Atlantic Avenue which would be the equivalent of Bell Road in Phoenix, Hulen St. in Fort Worth, 71st St. in Tulsa, or Westheimer Rd. in Houston.  It's a transit trip to get to the Avenue.

My point is this:  We are currently living under a dual system.  On-line retail/services side by side with face to face retail/services.  We are right in the middle of the fight, and we, the customers, are getting bloodied.  It's a war, and we are the innocent victims.  We all know on-line is going to win in the long run. but big box retail isn't going down without a fight.  

Retail institutions which came into being as the urban centers formed like Sears, Penney's, Macy's, Montgomery Ward, and a slew of others are either already defunct, or are hanging on by their fingernails.  Ones which are marginally viable are scrambling to establish enough on-line presence to save their companies.  That's another battle in which consumers are caught in the middle.  

Amazon/Walmart/E-Bay/Verison/ATT/Cable/every streaming service, and every on-line only company are also fighting for every nickel.  Customer Service is a quaint concept being sacrificed to cut costs and corners.  Oh, yes, it's a war, and today I feel like the electrons are winning while rolling over our pissed off, frustrated bodies.

In New York City the model we are currently doing the unofficial pilot program for is probably going to win out.  (Small face to face businesses integrated with on-line services and delivery that we self manage.)  Maybe the robots the electrons want to replace their service reps will actually provide some service because it sure isn't happening now.  It's 6 to 5 we don't have internet at the new apartment on August 21st, much less a service technician.  

  

Moving, NYC Style

We're moving to a new town!  Don't get me wrong; it's still the city of Brooklyn, but neighborhoods are like small towns and we are moving from Crown Heights to Carroll Gardens.  The grandson got re-positioned for school; see some things are the same everywhere.  It's all about the school district and the individual school.  We are big proponents of public school in our family, but quality varies wildly, and '27 pounds of joy' (our current nickname for the grandson) is going to need a good school.  

Our kiddos (the 35 year olds!) wanted to get settled into someplace they can remain during the preschool and elementary years.  Another driver of their move is it's a 'renter's market in the Big Apple, and that fact is in the same category as pigs flying, hell freezing over, and hens needing dental work.  Due to the virus, we must be within walking distance of the kiddo's apartment, so now we are moving too.

Brooklyn neighborhoods are like small towns.  Many people in the five boroughs of New York live in the same neighborhood their entire lives.  They know minutely when the smallest thing changes in their neighborhood.  We are all moving to Carroll Gardens which is an area closer to the East River from where we are now.   It's named for Charles Carroll, Revolutionary War hero and the only Catholic signer of the Declaration of Independence.  This area has been settled successively by the Irish in the early 19th century; by the Norwegians in the mid 19th century, and by the Italians in the late 19th century.  Until the building of the Brooklyn/Queens Expressway cut this area off from "Red Hook", another neighborhood directly to the South, this was a solid working class neighborhood.  As a result of that Robert Moses freeway project, Carroll Gardens gradually moved away from its working class roots into a solid middle class neighborhood, and in the 21st century, it's an upper middle class neighborhood.  

There are some interesting landmarks in Carroll Gardens.  There's the  Norwegian Seaman's Church, actually visited by the King of Norway in the 1950's.  In the ways of New York City, this church is now a condominium.

 

In the 1840's a New York surveyor called Richard Butts created a series of Brownstones which were farther back than normal in order to create front gardens.  These buildings are now historical buildings, and the gardens are still beautiful.

Carroll Garden Playground and Park was originally planned in the 1840's as private parkland, but the City of New York purchased it, and this is where '27 pounds of joy' will be honing his swinging and other playground skills.

This neighborhood is still the home of 'mom and pop' stores just as it was in the 19th century.  Now, the stores tend to sell you coffee and pastries or designer food, but by being run as small individual businesses, they are upholding a long standing tradition in the neighborhood.

Wish us luck with the actual move, but I think we are going to be very happy here.

No Speed Limit Required

Please enjoy the following 'guest blogger', AKA Drake. He's having a unique NYC experience, but I can't say he's really enjoying it.

Driving and walking in Brooklyn are like living in two different dimensions of the same universe.  They share the same landscape but perspectives and experiences are entirely different.  The one commonality is the selfish attitude of, “All these other people out here are obstacles to my progress and are trying to get in my way”.  

Until recently, I understood this only from the pedestrian viewpoint.  Brooklyn drivers take dangerous liberties with my safety by turning quickly in front of me even though I have the Walk signal (“the little white man”) right of way.  Now behind the wheel of my Avis rental, I begin to see the other side.

Our Brooklyn transportation experience was initially limited to public transport and walking.  No car needed.  Subways and buses are convenient here, and good old fashioned shoe leather fills in the gaps just fine.  Covid-19 has changed all of that.  Public transport suddenly became unsafe, so walking more is a necessity.  In our case, a short bus trip plus a 0.2 mile walk from our apartment to our daughter's apartment (“our work place”) for nanny duties turned into a 1.1 mile walk each way.  In the morning the walk was all downhill; but what goes down must go back up.  The after work walk, all uphill, became a daily struggle.  Even so, this was manageable until our daughter and son-in-law changed apartments, mostly to live in a better school zone for Cedric (or 27 pounds of joy as we now call him).  Suddenly, a walking commute became a show stopper until we could make an apartment move ourselves.  Thus, we have a rental car.

Everything looks different in the driving dimension.  The sort of casual observations while walking cannot happen for the driver.  For starters, pedestrians sometimes cheat at crosswalks, daring the approaching vehicle to maintain speed, or just wander out no matter the “little red hand” telling them to stop.  The vehicle density on the streets is high and movements are chaotic.  There are cars, trucks, construction vehicles, delivery vans, ambulances, fire trucks, garbage trucks, street sweepers, motorcycles, bikes, joggers, and even miscellaneous vehicles like skateboards and electric powered scooters all jockeying for street space and competing to make the next light.  Lane-blocking construction zones are numerous and potholes are everywhere.  Avoiding potholes is a hit or miss proposition depending on the density of traffic.  Since curb parking spaces are in such short supply, every block seems to have at least one double parked car (hopefully with hazard lights on) to make things even more challenging.  The level of concentration and need for constant maneuvering makes me think car racing must be something like this.

There’s not a single speed limit sign around downtown Brooklyn or the surrounding neighborhoods.  Speed is easily controlled by the congestion.  Speed limit reminders are simply not needed.  As a result, everybody drives as fast as possible.  When the city was in shut down mode because of the virus, we observed bus drivers and delivery truck drivers hauling ass.  One silver lining of the damn virus was people who deal with this hideous traffic each and every day experienced a few months of impediment free joyful driving.    

Fortunately, this driving torture is temporary.  As soon as we move into a more conveniently located apartment, the car goes away and we'll be back to our slower paced walking.  Foot power will have to do while the virus crisis is still with us before we can broaden our reach using public transit again.