Now it's time to wait...............
I feel like a senior in high school. Remember those feelings? Torn between being incredibly ready for that next big thing after graduation while simultaneously being sad that a part of life was coming to an end. That whole year in the back of your mind was...."It's the last time I will........., well, you can fill in the blank. And it all seemed to go so fast. High school was over in the blink of an eye. Everybody told you it was a 'best time of your life'. I always suspected older people who said that had high school safely viewed with rose colored glasses from the perspective of hindsight.
On the other hand, that senior year rolled by like molasses. Everybody still treated me like I was a kid or something. From my eighteen year old vantage point, didn't these people know that I was grown. I was ready to leave the nest, sprout my wings, get out into the world. I was done with all this kid stuff - let's get on with it. Graduation was never going to arrive.
The same thing is now happening to me at the age of almost 60 - well, OK, I'll be 60 in just under 12 months, but it sounds better to say 'I'm 60'. Back to the point. Forty eight years after high school, I'm now having all those same eighteen year old's feelings. The house is ready. We're poised, ready to drive out of town, get the show on the road, and take off. Let's get on with the plan! Simultaneously, every time I go somewhere, I'm thinking, "Is this the last visit to this place for who knows how long?"
I'm struck anew by the comfort of the quality of life in Hurst. I know where everything is. I know when anything changes. I'll see people I know well or know casually almost every place I go in the course of a normal day. (My favorite happened this week: I'm getting a massage from Scott. He mentions that he's got to get Ryan, his son, ready for a big weekend because Ryan is dating Gabby Navarro's daughter and it's her Quincinera. Well, I've been casually acquainted with Gabby for years since she's the owner of Michelito's where we eat Mexican food at least twice a month, and she's dating Chris who was our exercise instructor for about 6 months. I mention this, and Scott replies, oh, yeah, Chris gave Ryan his hockey equipment. Not too many degrees of separation in Hurst!) We're comfortable with our neighbors and have a 'neighborhood' that feels like it's ours. I suppose after 19 years, it should.
Now, I'm starting to wonder how it's going to feel for everything to be different. The simple things - like where's the grocery store, and oh, do they have tortillas? Will I be freaked out and ultimately depressed by constant 'difference', or will I be exhilarated by the experience? I'm hedging with an Iphone so I can take advantage of Google maps to lessen the 'oh, crap, lost again' feeling. Again the flip side of the coin arrives. I'm eager to try new churches. I want to see what other places do for mission. How will they receive a stranger in their midst? How will God call upon me. After watching Ken Burns' film on the National Parks, I can hardly wait to see some new ones. I'm ready for a different climate, and new vegetation. I want new theaters, ballet companies, and to meet new people. I'm ready to break out of the routine.
Just waiting. Patiently some days when I'm feeling nostalgic, and not so patiently other days when I can hardly wait to start this new life.
Know anybody that wants to buy a house? I have one for sale in a great town.
