Friends,

I realize it's been some time since I posted, but remember, I said that this was not going to be a "I went to the store yesterday" blog effort. I only want to post when I have something to say. Therefore:

Yesterday, we went to the Fair. Don't worry, this isn't going to be "we did this and that". I was much more intrigued by the cultures that intersected and swirled around one another. Let me see if I can give you a bird's eye view, or should I say "a Big Tex" view. Incidentally, it's hard to understand why Big Tex is so revered - he really looks cheezy. However, I was as thrilled as everyone else to see him standing over the heart of the fairgrounds.

I think the first cultural grouping I noticed were the people working the fair. Missing teeth, a nicotine addiction, tattoos gotten prior to fashionability, and being either noticeably overweight or noticeably underweight seem to be the common characteristics. I talked to several. Everyone was very pleasant even the people who looked a little scary, but I can't imagine doing their jobs. Coming up to the fair I noticed that one entire lot was covered with RV's. These people are the last American gypsys. They must move constantly following the fair swing from the north to the south to the west. I think there is still the "carny" community lurking under the surface carefully hidden from the casual visitors to the annual event. These are also people without illusions. How could you have any left if you brush up against with the American massses everyday? I noticed that at the ferris wheel there was a box labeled "counterfeit tickets". I asked if that was really a problem, and the reply was, "You bet." The ride ticket taker went on to explain that some counterfeiters were so stupid as to use regular xerox paper in place of the official cardboard tickets. His contempt was obvious when he muttered, "Risking 10 years in prison for carnival rides".

The fair workers at the rides, at the booths, and at the demonstrations (let me tell you about Kitchencraft cookware!) were very different from the "car" people. At the auto show, the car salespeople - and yes, there were a lot of women pitching cars, all looked scrubbed, uniformed, preppy and rooted. The impression was that the fair was a break in the routine for them. They just seemed happy to be out of an office. Who knows; maybe they are addicted to funnel cake, and this is their annual fix. The car people were all and I mean all white. Oh, I saw car salespeople with different racial tints to their faces, but they were all projecting the white middle class culture of controlled acquisition. My guess is that's who looks at the auto show at the fair. We certainly did. We also interacted (the 21st centure word for talked to) several people. It wasn't unusual for two or more sets of people to be looking at and sitting in the same care. You know me. When I got into the driver's seat and there was some stranger sitting next to me in the passenger seat, my quip was: "Where do you want to go?" I got some interesting answers from old guys who were happily surprised that a female was smiling at them and talking to them. And I'm fat and old!

There just isn't anything prettier than shiny new cars. I wonder if 200 years ago, people felt that way about horses?

It was also no surprise that different events attracted different audiences. The dog show was filled with strollers - and man, are those high tech now. The babeball exhibit from Cooperstown was populated with old people and the handicapped. The movie show costumes were being seen by women. None of which was surprising at all.

Truly the best part of the fair is being part of something so traditional that appeals to every segment of our society. Unfortunately, it took a long time for Dallas to make the fair inclusive. I read that clear up until the early 1970's - there was a separate day for the "colored" to attend the fair. It was dressed it up with some fancy name, but it was that old devil we call segregation and was really apartheid. During the struggle for basic civil rights, when the young African-Americans organized a campaign to boycott the separate day at the fair, it took real commitment for their community to back them up. After all, the fair only came once a year, and was as looked forward to as any other holiday by not only the children but by the adults too. Think of it as, "This year you don't get to have Thanksgiving." Naturally, money talks and bullshit walks - and ba-boom, ba-bing, no more separate colored day when counted on revenue started to dry up. I was cheered by the fact that there were many, many interracials couples strolling around the fair this year. Now, if we can all just stop looking at them as if they had three heads. My conviction is that the racial tension in this country will be solved when we have enough people who have feet in multiple ractial groups. Of course, my grandparents and I suspect yours, and maybe even you, reader, are horrified. If so, do a little biology study, we're all one species, duh.

The other kind of person who was at the fair is completely recognizable by everyone no matter what your skin color, your income range, your country or city address: The stuffed animal prize winner. First, I'd like to know where giant animals come from and who decides what will be produced: This year's fair is not just content with teddy bears, there are Scooby Doo's, and crayons, and new versions of cartoon characters - I didn't see Bugs Bunny, but I saw Stewie and Bart Simpsom. And they are all ginormous, humongous, and unwieldy to carry. You'd think they'd come with a strap, so they could be carried like a backpack - well, actually, it would be more like carrying a dead body, but hey, your hands would be free.

Picture this snapshot: One father, two little girls about 10 years old - best friends by the look of them - and HE'S carrying a giant pink crayon (I'm talking 4 feet high and about 9" diameter), a Scooby Doo (5 feet tall), and there's a second giant pink crayon leaning against the booth as he shifts around trying to figure out how he's going to carry all of these. Not to mention there are four "small" animals stuffed under his armpits. Oh, and did I mention, the little girls are carrying loot too? I just hope he was on the way to the car. The girls were grinning from ear to ear and chattering excitedly. Hey, all you guys who are thinking, "Well, I'd never have allowed that." - who do you think you're fooling? I'll bet everyone of you has "won" a giant something for whatever female you wanted to impress and lugged it all around the fair. Don't tell me you didn't. This poor guy yesterday had obviously miscalculated - he didn't factor in TWO girls or perhaps their? his? prowess at the games.

You know all the games, so I won't detail the ring toss, balloon burst, rifle shoot, beat with a hammer, etc. However, the most intriguing game was the ladder. It's a rope ladder with wooden sides about 18" across, about 8 feet high. Now, it's not swinging vertically at a 90 degree angle. Instead it's pitched at a 25 degree angle and it's fastened at both ends to something that allows the ladder to twirl 360 degrees. To win the prize you have to climb the ladder from bottom to top. Under the twirling ladder is the same air filled pillow you find in moonwalks. I stood there and watched it for about five minutes and never saw anybody who climbed more than three rungs before the ladder swung them 180 degrees and they fell into the pillow. It really looked like fun - especially if you were about 12.

And what fair is complete without rides. Broadly speaking, there are idiots who will ride anything and the rest of us. There's a new idiot ride this year - it costs $10 for a single ride! You are strapped into a catapult - as if you were in a spaceship - but open air - no cabin. Then the catapult flings you into the air and twirls you in a complete circle while the "seat" you are strapped onto twirls independently. So, you can be completely upside down swinging while you are at the top arc of the captapult - about 50 feet in the air - head down, feet dangling. Oh, and just to add some thrill, the tower that supports the swinging arm of the catapult, sways while the ride is going on. Let's just say that I would never, ever walk underneath this ride. Vomit falling out of the sky is a big turn-off as a fair experience.

Jan, what was your favorite, favorite part of the fair - I mean besides the corny dog, cotton candy, funnel cake and ice cream bar you consumed over an eight hour period? (Isn't that dreadful? I don't think I've ingested that much fat since the last Super Bowl party I attended.) But, I digress - my favorite part of the fair was the creative arts building - yes, all the doilies, quilts, pottery, hobby collections, afghans, painted pictures, cross stitch pictures, hardanger pictures, brazil pictures, crewel pictures, pillows, photographs, jellies, jams, pickles, hand turned wooden bowls, wreaths, xmas tree skirts, vests, sweaters, jackets - need I go on? The list could take up another five inches. It was an entire building of the "winners" in catagories like "Craftsmen, Designers" "Holiday Kits", "Hobby Collections", "Wood Carving", "Needlework", I can't conceive how many entries there were originally. The work, whether you do it or not, whether you even like the finished product or not was exquisite. I drool for beautifully created one of a kind objects. My nose was truly pressed to the glass cases. Such marvels.

However, the one entry that truly made me smile was in the "Junior" (translate kid) Hobby Collection catagory. It was the lid of a clothes dryer. The "center" of the lid had a written title: Everything My Mother has Found in My Pockets This Year. Glued around the title were every conceiveable item a 10 year old boy might stuff into his pockets at any given time. You can just imagine. It was all carefully shellacked, or whatever the modern method of shellacking is. The piece was a total hoot, and apparently the judges thought so too, because they gave it a blue ribbon.

Finally, a heads up to those who have the desire to go to the Fair and the flexability to go on a Wednesday. Fair admission is usually $14 per person. On Wednesday, you can bring 3 cans of food for the food bank, and admission to the Fair is $1.00 - yes, that's not a typo, $1.00 and you can make another small contribution to making life better for someone else in the most basic way - by offering food to the hungry in our community.

When you go, say, "Howdy" to Big Tex for me. He's the tall guy in the Dickies right across from the Fletcher's Corny Dog booth, and next to the Chevrolet test drive track.