"Hi, I'm Emily. Are you, Jan? Where can I put this stuff? I've got dishes for twenty, silverware for twenty, three flower arrangements, a miniature bridesmaid bouquet, oh, and I brought my gold chargers for the plates, four choices of table cloths, the extra table, and twenty gold chairs. I hope you don't mind, but I brought my own personal wine, water and champagne glasses for you to use all weekend. Plus, if you think of ANYTHING else you need, just let me know. Oh, don't worry about washing up anything, just rinse it off, and I'll be here to pick it up whenever you say on Monday. It's so nice to finally meet you. WOW, what a great house." She swept by me smiling.
We were off and running. I kept thinking, "At one time in my life, I too had this kind of vivacity and energy. Is this young woman for real? She's just too good to be true." Well, let me tell you, she was not only for real, she was better than real. All during the wedding shower, Emily, the wife of Jay's best friend, and one of Sarah's bridesmaids anticipated every need and met it.
I knew via a long chain of emails that snaked through the months prior to the wedding weekend, Amy (AKA Best Woman, and she certainly is) was El Capitan of the Wedding Shower. First evidence of her command ability was her superior recruitment. The doorbell rang at our 'party house' at 8:50 am shower day morning. Joni, Amy's mother, appeared at the front door as she announced, "I'm here to help Amy, and oh, yes, Bryan (Amy's father) is bringing in the big coolers you're going to need for your other parties." With a brief hug, she headed for the kitchen rolling up her sleeves, and went to work. Amy was on her heels. Suddenly the kitchen was filled with slicing, dicing, rolling, and concocting. Finally emerging from the kitchen were multiple types of homemade pizzas, freshly made avocado corn salad, fresh fruit salad, as well as meat and cheese platters, puff pastry spinach thingies, and other yummies including Audrey's Famous Sugared Pecans. I was still sipping coffee.
Amy had assigned tasks to all the other bridesmaids, and as they arrived they morphed into a well-oiled team. Here's a picture tutorial of how to prepare for the ultimate wedding shower...on Venus:
After everyone arrives and schmoozes, in a good Venus shower it's time for games: Meet the toilet paper brides:
EVERY Venus shower worth its salt has the ice breaker game, and "toilet paper bride" is an oldie (meaning we played it when my age group was getting married) but still a winner. The rules for the people reading this who live on Mars: Divide into teams, create a bridal gown using only toilet paper and dress one member of the team. The modern twist: The MOB (me) and the real Bride (Sarah) played the parts of Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum. We walked around to the groups as they adorned their brides and gave our analysis and advice vis a vi "Project Runway". This was most enjoyable as we strolled around saying, "Make it work!" "It's looking a little costumey." "Love the hand made flower detailing." "Who was responsible for the overall design?" Then we chose the victor. Here's the winner posing with the real Bride to Be
Pausing to eat some of the delicious food, visit with new friends, and concoct another drink, the ladies resettle and it's time for the main event - gift opening. As a bride, this is extremely exciting especially if you like being the center of attention. It's like a Christmas morning you don't have to share with anybody else. Traditional formation of this event is the 'big circle'. That's why Emily brought so many extra chairs.
One of the responsibilities of the family of the bride is to deliver unique and meaningful gifts. Sarah Lynn got hers in spades. Her new mother and sister-in-law, Shanleigh and Kit, gave her a Louis Vitton purse, her Grandmother gave her a cut glass crystal and silver salad set which she received at her wedding in 1948. The mother of the bride (me) gave her the 'something old' for her wedding day - the gift of my pearls I received from her Dad on my 10th wedding anniversary.
As a special gift from her family, she received a handmade quilt made with squares sewn by her deceased Grandma Jo.
Another great gift presented in honor of my friendship with MY college roommates was a beautiful peignoir set given by Patti (our remaining roommate) and her daughter Kara
As an invitee of a Venus shower, the expectation is to comment favorably on the gifts as they are opened one by one. Everyone ALWAYS agrees they have never seen such beautiful gifts. It's a real challenge to 'up the ante' of this tried and true formula. Our commander managed to do this. Amy, asked all the invitees to electronically send her their favorite recipes, pictures and 'stories'. She lovingly assembled all these contributions into an illustrated cookbook which she published. Sarah's shower instantly became legendary.
Meanwhile.....on Mars
Wedding showers are bit more casual on this planet. First, there are no pesky invitations, RSVPs, securing of venues, registries beyond the groom texting the Best Man the preferred line of tools the day before the shower. On the day of the event, the hosts don't bother with decorations. After all, what can you do to spruce up a garage? Chairs don't necessarily have to match, or even be chairs. Some events use the five gallon bucket to great effect. It's a chair, it's a beer cooler, it's a waste basket, and for the 'short this month' guest - a gift.
Generally speaking, refreshments usually consist of several bags of chips, slim jims, and beer. The keg is traditional, but younger hosts are now buying a variety of microbrews. The host that chooses the microbrew option is expected to ice down the beer prior to the event. Classy hosts clean their fishing/hunting coolers before adding the ice and beer.
There are no games played in a Mars wedding shower other than one upmanship in telling lies about women the attendees have known. In a high toned shower, the bride-to-be is never mentioned in the aforesaid anecdotes. Sometimes stories are told of the worst possible things that have happened in prior weddings. Men who have been married the longest relish telling horror stories about marriage.
Of course, there are no pictures from a Mars wedding shower. No one can imagine why he would want any. However, there are gifts. Gifts usually consist of anything that can be bought at AutoZone, Lowe's or Home Depot. The thoughtful guest texts the Best Man during the one stop shopping to see if there is a requested tool line. An extra battery pack for the requested tool line is considered a classic gift. During the gift opening, the father and father-in-law to be of the groom regale the group with gory stories featuring the tools being opened by the groom. "Opened" is a relative term - it actually means taking the gift out of the plastic bag it was put into at the store. Eco conscious guests are now requesting paper bags for their gifts.
The shower concludes when the last beer is drunk.
