Catalogs

 It's December 5th, and I've been thinking about catalogs.  Remember in the yonder days when your mailbox would be filled to overflowing with glossy paged catalogs at this time of year?  Nowadays, there are only two kinds of catalogs which arrive via the mail:  The tissue paper thin, few paged, missives which are only a step up from the deals of the week at CVS, and the second kind printed on 25lb glossy paper showing stuff which costs in excess of $1000 per item.  I've gotten one of both of those this week addressed to previous tenants.  Since I'm off snail mail lists, I don't get catalogs anymore.

I was at early adopter of on-line shopping.  So, you can say I'm one of the people who killed mailbox catalogs.  I've been shopping on-line since people confidentially told me my credit card numbers would be stolen if I allowed it to be used in on-line purchases.  Of course, the only time my credit card numbers have been compromised is when I've used them at brick/mortar stores.  Still, I miss catalogs.  

Why, you say?  Well, just the number of products appealing to every social class was always fascinating.  There was the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book which has always featured over the top gifts for the rich and often not so discerning.  This year I was amused to discover a black Baccarat crystal vase for $2,050 - but hurry, there's only one left!  Or how about the Astro Puffers, only $1095, 

or the white fudge covered corn twists.  Surprise!  These are on sale!  (Only $16.50 down from $22).  That's for 6 oz - smaller than a Whopper meat patty.  The highest priced item in the 'Book' this year is a $46,000 watch, and the lowest priced item is the Cucumber Slick Mask for $5 followed by the 'best seller' a $6 spray hand sanitizer (2 full oz!)  This catalog (even if they call it a 'book) was always good for a lot of laughs and, 'can you believe this!', and 'who would buy that! exclamations.  I miss getting this one.  I did notice in this pandemic year there was LOTS of sleepwear and LOTS of food.  

At the other end of the spectrum was Lillian Vernon.  This was an actual woman who founded a catalog business to monogram low cost items in a matter of days and ship them back out.  (Monogramed items used to be afforded or even used only by rich people since only high end purchases were monogrammed.)  Lillian Vernon's first catalog came out in 1956, had 120 pages and shilled 750 items.  This woman had her obituary in the NY Times, and was the first woman owned company traded on the New York Stock Exchange.  Today, the bulk of items on-line at the Lillian Vernon website are for children's items most of which can be monogrammed such as your personalized $39.95 bucket o' dinosaurs, or your $69.95 personalized castle sleeping bag with unicorn.  (FYI - there are 86 unicorn items in this year's Lillian Vernon.)

Another type of catalog which always made it appearance around Christmas time was the one who sold you overpriced items for your rustic get away cabin.  It was chock full of 'moose' and 'bear' decorative items and heavy furniture.  I love this year's Allegany coffee table made out of reclaimed railroad ties for only $399.95. (Limited stock!)  And, then there's the $3,999 English Hutch [image coming soon!] which is over 8' long by over '8 high and weighs 400 pounds - shipping extra, but it's 'white glove'!  You can buy it in 13 shades of stained white pine. 

Also appearing at Christmas time in my mailbox were the 'food catalogs'.  The Swiss Colony, family run since 1926, was known for 'sweets', but the most famous when I was growing up was Hickory Farms, established in the 1950's selling cheese and processed meat products.  It turns out Harry & David was actually founded in 1910 as Bear Creek Orchards out of Medford, Oregon.  They changed the name to Harry & David in the 1950's and brought fresh fruit into the gift giving picture particularly, apples and pears.  Then, there's the Wisconsin Cheese Company (self explanatory), and nut growers also got into the catalog business.  There have always been local candy companies such as Cerreta's in Arizona and Lamme's in Texas and See's in California trying to become nationally popular.  And, if you live in Texas, the Collin Street Bakery has been selling the Corsicana DeLuxe Fruitcake since 1896.  (I have a Corsicana fruitcake tin I inherited from my mother.)  There are a plethora of specialty food catalogs:  Omaha Steaks, The Popcorn Factory, Wolferman's, Di Bruni Bros., - the list is endless these days.  Food is the catalog merchandise - even if the catalog is on-line - that I'm still most likely to purchase at Christmas.  Here's the $299.95 gift basket from Harry & David  for someone who is throwing an illicit party during the pandemic.  No shopping or cooking required.

In the 1980's I had one friend who had a huge holiday shopping list since she bought for not only her friends but her current and oftentimes past co-workers out of catalogs.  Her shopping time began at 4:00am - her normal time to get up.  This woman believed in hand written cards and notes, and she also liked to shop at this ungodly hour.  Her physical catalog collection at Christmastime was just this side of unbelievable.  I could collect a three foot high pile of catalogs from her house and barely make a dent.  I could be happily occupied with 'on the throne' reading material until bathing suit time.  Ah, how I miss those catalogs.