The Unbelievable Year

 I started out with the title "Our Year of Misery", and then, I revised it because I wouldn't want to read a piece with the word misery in it.  And, truthfully, this year has NOT been miserable.  We've been "all in" with a five person 'pod' which includes our only child, our son-in-law, and our only grandchild.  I've been fully engaged in helping a new person find his voice.  I had a bird's eye view watching a magnificent, vibrant city come to a complete standstill, and slowly awaken again.

However, this has been a miserable year in some way for all of us.  Some of us have lost jobs.  Our children have lost whole chunks of school.  We've all experienced real fear which isn't like going through the haunted house and it's over.  Instead, this kind of fear just lasts and lasts and lasts.  We are either afraid of getting sick with the damn virus, or we know someone who's been sick with the damn virus and is now worried about side effects.  Some of us have paid the ultimate price and our loved ones have passed either directly or indirectly because of the damn virus.   

The constant preventative measures of masking and hand washing aren't terrible, but they are annoying.  I don't mind the hand washing so much as the mask which is off-putting.  It can be hot and uncomfortable.  It impedes social interaction because as humans we read so many social clues through facial expressions.  And for us glasses wearers, I'm sick of either steamed up glasses or the 'preparation' of my glasses with fog defender each and every time I go outside.  

I'm thought I was tired of staying home, but now, even though I am vaccinated, I'm finding myself faintly agoraphobic (afraid to leave my house).  I'm nervous around other people, and I just want them to stay away from me.  In New York, I didn't have to tell people to stay away from me.  In Arizona, well, it's a different story.  No one seems to understand why I'm uncomfortable sitting inside a restaurant.  The nurse in one of the doctor's offices wanted to sit right on top of me while chitchatting.  (She wasn't doing a blood pressure check or anything else.)  She actually got offended when I asked her to back away from me.   I know I have very little chance of catching the virus at this point, but I'm still very leery of social interaction.  Part of me wonders if I will every be comfortable with social mingling again.

The litany of business failures is yet to be tallied.  I know we are going to have fewer restaurants, fewer stores, and fewer movie theaters.  I've learned our gigantic TV's can actually replace the 'movie' experience.  I already knew MOST sporting events are better from a recliner than in person.  And, I've always hated the 'mall'.  I will miss restaurants, but I can now order take out like a pro.

As usual in extreme situations, everything is not all bad.  I've learned new skills.  I've expanded on my former hobbies.  I've realized I enjoy 'virtual' bridge (card game) on the computer as much as an in person bridge game.  My on-line shopping skills are now razor sharp.  My appreciation of the small things has reawakened.  (For example, I've enjoyed watching the seasons change by observing the trees around me.)  While I've been cut off from larger outside entertainments, I've been endlessly entertained this past year by a toddler learning to talk, starting 'school' (mommy's day out), and learning how to help him manage all those emotions flooding on-line for him.  Yesterday, a thirty something (here in Arizona) mentioned they now know all their neighbors because it has become a neighborhood ritual to sit outside in the evenings on their front lawns visiting with one another across the lawns while their children run, play and ride their bikes.  Prior to the pandemic, they didn't know a single person on their street.

We have also learned to treasure our rituals.  Suddenly, high school graduations, proms, weddings, showers, birthday parties, Mother's Day, Father's Day, funerals, Trick or Treating, Christmas caroling, Christmas and Thanksgiving family gatherings, and just plain parties turn out to be events we have missed dreadfully.  I don't think we realized how important our cultural rituals really were until they suddenly vanished.  Who knew?

I'm a silver lining person, so I've been trying to think what are the positive aspects of the past year.  I'm not sure these are all positive, but in no particular order, this is what I've observed:  'School' has come out of the closet.  The problems of our public schools can't be out of sight, out of mind anymore.  The great divide most of us in the 'ed' biz have known and fretted about for eons is plain for everyone to see:  If you are poor, you have a poorer education from the get-go, and you fall farther and farther behind.  Even in the cities, internet access is not guaranteed to a child.  In rural America, the access problem is not only to the internet, but also to higher classes in math and science.  Now, this just sounds like one more bad thing, but it's really not.  Parents have had the scales fall from their eyes about how hard teaching actually is.   If nothing else, parents having to acknowledge how hard teachers work has been a wonderful moment for us.  It almost makes up for having to teach remotely.  As if teaching wasn't hard enough before......  

The pandemic has thrown the workplace into a configuration it's never been before.  The virus has proven it is NOT necessary to commute to an office each and every day.  Certainly not in the new economy world where business is done electronically.  While the blurring of work/home is distressing to Boomers, that's not necessarily the case for the X,Y,Z generations that follow us.  Of course, revamping the workplace is a nightmare for the IRS.  The tax returns for 2020 are going to be an exercise in creative accounting, and the tax auditors are going to be working lots and lots of overtime.  It's kind of a giggle to bumfuzzle the IRS.

We've all gotten a much bigger appreciation of how important freedom of movement is.  Even if your vacation time has usually been a trip to see grandma, not being able to get up and go has been a source of depression.  I'm definitely ready to hit the road.  I want to go to a goofy out of the way museum.  I need a State Fair.  Goodness, gracious, I'd even take a Country Fair.  Who knew I'd miss the Home Arts Exposition so much?  Not to mention real art museums, fine dining, the ballet, chamber music and the theater.

My final point is we can see that teeny, tiny pinpoint of light at the end of this year long tunnel.  This past year has been true terror at times, mingled with incredible boredom, but perhaps there's a big takeaway.  This unbelievable year has given us a profound appreciation for what we truly need in our lives.  

   

Words, Words, Words Falling Out Everywhere

A family member sent me a new word this week:  POOTLE.  It's a verb which means to move slowly and with no purpose.   Ironically, well probably not, the person who sent it to me has made pootling into an art form.  It describes her to a T.  One of the things which happened as a result of her offering is it started me thinking how many words float by us of which we don't know the meaning.  Now, granted, there were more of them at age 10 than at age 70, but they still turn up especially when reading.  Fortunately, I may have lost my innate ability to SPELL (so annoying - thank heaven for spellcheck), but I haven't forgotten the meanings of most words I come across.  So, I was thrilled to be presented with a new word, and one which is so useful.  I tend to hurtle through life flinging words behind me as I dash.  

It made me start thinking about what are my favorite words.  Ah, yes, you can have favorite words just like favorite colors (purple and red), favorite seasons (spring), favorite teams (OU anything, Texas Rangers, and Dallas Cowboys).  I think English lends itself to the pastime of collecting words you like because it has incorporated so many words from other languages.  There are 171,000 words in English (plus 47,000 archaic words).  It's very hard to 'count' the number of words in ANY language.  Example:  Do you count the different tenses in a verb as separate words?  The closest you can come to counting the number of words in a language is to count the number of entries in a standard dictionary.  Using that criteria, Korean has over 1 million words and Japanese has 500,000.  The other Romance/Germanic languages come in at about half the number in English.  English is so prevalent in the world today, many languages simply incorporate an English word into their own language especially technical words.  

So, what are some of my favorite words?  Hmmmm.  Here's a non-definitive list of words that just floated to the top of my mind:

Ubiquitous - existing or being everywhere, especially at the same time

Codswallop - nonsense or rubbish (especially works well as a synonym for bullshit)

Onomatopoeia - words that sound like sounds (Examples:  buzz, ding, splat, boom - there are hundreds of these.  A great family game is to try and construct a list of these words.)

Dohickey or Thingamagig  -  words to use when you can't think of the exact name of something (very helpful 'senior' word)  These two refer only to inanimate objects, and actually may be regionalisms.

Persiflage - good natured bantering.  My favorite kind of speech.  

Copacetic - in good order - used with 'everything' as in "Everything is copacetic."  (Aside:  Excellent name for a boat.)

Peripatetic - traveling from place to place (pretty explanatory, right?)

I'm fond of any word that can be used in the place of common profanities.  My first attempt at Lenten sacrifice was to give up profanity for 40 days, and let me tell you if you think giving up every word that's running through your head right now including DAMN and HELL which are so ubiquitous as to be almost non-profane, well you just try it this Lent.  I seldom remove words from my vocabulary, but I've striven to keep these out especially now since we keep a two year old parrot five days a week (AKA 30 pounds of joy, AKA 'the Huckleberry, AKA 'Cedric').

Language and words are a major importance at our house since we've been teaching The Huckleberry how to talk.  There's actually a system which works great at the very beginning of the process.  However, once you're past the beginning, well, it gets really complicated.  Life is a constant stream of 'how to' conversations - usually starting as monologues - then refined when you realize you've used at least four words which need to be defined.  Word play games are very big right now.  I discovered the other day he not only recognizes all the letters of the alphabet, but he knows the sounds of the letters.  One of his games is to substitute the first letter of the words of a song or his name.  (Example:  Who's here today?  "Dedric".)  And, don't get me started on the pronouns ME and YOU.  We are still in a muddle over those two.

I truly can't remember a time when I didn't love words.  The day I discovered there was an entire book of words was utterly thrilling.  In middle school I used to secretly read the dictionary amazed at how many new words I could find.  Learning the SAT vocabulary was not a chore.  Another secret pleasure is archaic words.  [Archaic words are ones which have fallen out of usage.]  Here's a great one:  animalcule - meaning microscopic animals.

So, tell me, do you have favorite words?  Did your mother or father have a favorite word which you can still hear them saying?  This inquiring mind wants to know.  Leave a comment; I'd love to hear from you.

      

  

ENOUGH

I try to keep my posts uplifting especially now when we are all stressed to the max by the pandemic and the tumultuous politics of the last year.  I try to practice tolerance.  I believe people who don't share my views, whether we are talking about politics or religion or whatever controversial topic you name, are not evil doers, but just people with a different viewpoint from whom maybe I can learn something.  

Yesterday's events at the Capitol of the United States of America is where the line is drawn for me.  Everyone who reads me knows that I'm well versed in American history, and I've tended to take the long view of this polarized political climate knowing we have experienced this sort of polarization before in our history and we've weathered it.  The same societal and economic stressors have happened in this country, and we've managed to muddle through except for one notable exception:  The Civil War.  If we learned anything from that terrible war, it's to not let our differences escalate to violent confrontation. 

The last time our nation's capitol was attacked was 1814 when the British, as an act of war, burned the White House and invaded our halls of government.  Yesterday's attack on our chambers of government was insurrection:  It was a violent uprising against the authority of our government.  Law makers (Congressmen and Senators) were certifying the November election, and they were forced to flee a mob intent on stopping that certification by violence.  This was not a 'protest'.  These were not peaceful protesters.  These were insurrectionists determined by storming the Chambers of the Senate and House of Representatives to disrupt the working of government.  This was a wake-up call and a reckoning.

And yes, it was a mob.  And, yes, it was led by extremist factions of Trump supporters.  And, yes, the mob was incited to violence by the Donald Trump, President of the United States.  He has consistently told a blatant lie to the American public over and over trying to convert into truth that the Presidential election was fraudulent and the election process was tainted.  He's not proven that allegation in a single court in the entire nation at every level.  Not a single one.  Many of the judges who've rejected his claims of fraud were Republicans appointed by his administration including those sitting on the Supreme Court.   Votes have been counted and re-counted.  The election officials in Arizona, Pennsylvania, and Georgia are all Republicans.  They have repeatedly told anyone who has asked there was no fraud perpetrated in their states.  The November election was free of widespread fraud.  That is a fact.  Donald Trump was fairly defeated in the election.  That is a fact.     

Yesterday's insurrection at the the national Capitol is what happens when lies are continually repeated over and over again.  It's what happens when people elected to serve do not put patriotism and their oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States in front of personal grabs for power.  And, yes, I'm calling out those lawmakers who've continually been silent about the lies endlessly repeated by Donald Trump, and who are starting to deliberately lie about what happened yesterday in the national capitol.  We expect dissent.  We expect differing points of view.  Politics is a rough and tumble game, and it always has been.  This is different.  This is not just politics as usual.  What we and too may of our public servants have allowed to stand and take root is a web of deliberately told lies which has culminated in insurrection.

When a mob invades the Capitol of the United State of America, not a single one of us should stand by.  Instead we should stand up and say NO.  Enough.  No one has the right to do that.  If you think this has been overblown or 'spun' by the talking head of the media, well, turn off the sound and simply look at the photos and pictures of what happened yesterday.  No one needs words in order to understand what happened.  There is no alternative interpretation.  It was wrong.  It was insurrection.  It was mob violence aimed at stopping the workings of government.  

I, for one, will not stand for it.         

My New Year's Resolutions

 Isn't this a strange new year?  We are all praying that 2021 isn't as horrible as 2020.  I certainly don't need to enumerate my reasons for categorizing 2020 as horrible.  You can fill that in for yourself.  I guess the real question is how do we turn our faces to the future when we will have all known so much uncertainty, and fear?  The generations who lived through  World War II could probably tell us a lot about how to cope with so much fear and loss.  The COVID virus deaths are fast approaching the number of Americans killed during World War II, and are projected to surpass that number.  Americans who lived during that war endured many years of loss, sacrifice and uncertainty.

Unfortunately, as a people we have not been able to equate the COVID pandemic with a war.  Instead, as a population there has been a backlash against science and public health recommendations which has made the pandemic even worse. When the last pandemic swept the world: the Spanish Flu of 1918-19, Americans accepted the guidance of public health officials as the country tried to cope with a disease which would kill 2.5% of those who contracted it - 675,000 people.  The reaction to the COVID virus has been tribal rather than national.  Public health agencies have been politicalized.  And, I fear the acceptance of the vaccine is going to be equally tribal and political.  Now, the virus has mutated, and no one knows how this mutation will react to the vaccines soon to be offered.  One more anxiety to cope with as 2020 ends.

The vaccines have been compared as the light at the end of the tunnel of COVID.  It's important to understand the light is a pinpoint in the distance.  There's a long long way to go to turn that pinpoint into a sunrise.  Since there are still some hard times to get through as 2021 begins, I've decided by New Year's resolutions are going to be along the following lines:

1)  Practice kindness. 

2)  Count your blessings when anxiety overwhelms.

3)  Make your 'go to' reaction sympathy rather than anger.

4)  Consider the possibility that people who think differently from me may be deluded rather than enemies.

5)  Confront my own racism.  This is a huge issue in the United States - no matter what your race.

We are all affected by it.  If you think you aren't affected, ask yourself this question:  How many friends do I have that are of a different race than I am?  The smaller that number, the more you need to confront yourself because you've never heard directly from someone you know about how a different race is affected by racism.

6)  Practice tolerance.  Also known as ' Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.'

7)  Donate to a charity - even the smallest amount can make a difference.

8)  Support local culture.  Oh, are these people hurting after 2020, and all they do is make my life richer.

9)  Contact someone who has been isolated by the pandemic.  

10) Smile.

Yes, yes, I know - no one can live up to all those resolutions, but it's not right to not even try. I'm going to give them my best shot.  I invite you to join me or to ponder how your personal resolutions can make you feel better and more hopeful in 2021.         

   

           

Catalogs

 It's December 5th, and I've been thinking about catalogs.  Remember in the yonder days when your mailbox would be filled to overflowing with glossy paged catalogs at this time of year?  Nowadays, there are only two kinds of catalogs which arrive via the mail:  The tissue paper thin, few paged, missives which are only a step up from the deals of the week at CVS, and the second kind printed on 25lb glossy paper showing stuff which costs in excess of $1000 per item.  I've gotten one of both of those this week addressed to previous tenants.  Since I'm off snail mail lists, I don't get catalogs anymore.

I was at early adopter of on-line shopping.  So, you can say I'm one of the people who killed mailbox catalogs.  I've been shopping on-line since people confidentially told me my credit card numbers would be stolen if I allowed it to be used in on-line purchases.  Of course, the only time my credit card numbers have been compromised is when I've used them at brick/mortar stores.  Still, I miss catalogs.  

Why, you say?  Well, just the number of products appealing to every social class was always fascinating.  There was the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book which has always featured over the top gifts for the rich and often not so discerning.  This year I was amused to discover a black Baccarat crystal vase for $2,050 - but hurry, there's only one left!  Or how about the Astro Puffers, only $1095, 

or the white fudge covered corn twists.  Surprise!  These are on sale!  (Only $16.50 down from $22).  That's for 6 oz - smaller than a Whopper meat patty.  The highest priced item in the 'Book' this year is a $46,000 watch, and the lowest priced item is the Cucumber Slick Mask for $5 followed by the 'best seller' a $6 spray hand sanitizer (2 full oz!)  This catalog (even if they call it a 'book) was always good for a lot of laughs and, 'can you believe this!', and 'who would buy that! exclamations.  I miss getting this one.  I did notice in this pandemic year there was LOTS of sleepwear and LOTS of food.  

At the other end of the spectrum was Lillian Vernon.  This was an actual woman who founded a catalog business to monogram low cost items in a matter of days and ship them back out.  (Monogramed items used to be afforded or even used only by rich people since only high end purchases were monogrammed.)  Lillian Vernon's first catalog came out in 1956, had 120 pages and shilled 750 items.  This woman had her obituary in the NY Times, and was the first woman owned company traded on the New York Stock Exchange.  Today, the bulk of items on-line at the Lillian Vernon website are for children's items most of which can be monogrammed such as your personalized $39.95 bucket o' dinosaurs, or your $69.95 personalized castle sleeping bag with unicorn.  (FYI - there are 86 unicorn items in this year's Lillian Vernon.)

Another type of catalog which always made it appearance around Christmas time was the one who sold you overpriced items for your rustic get away cabin.  It was chock full of 'moose' and 'bear' decorative items and heavy furniture.  I love this year's Allegany coffee table made out of reclaimed railroad ties for only $399.95. (Limited stock!)  And, then there's the $3,999 English Hutch [image coming soon!] which is over 8' long by over '8 high and weighs 400 pounds - shipping extra, but it's 'white glove'!  You can buy it in 13 shades of stained white pine. 

Also appearing at Christmas time in my mailbox were the 'food catalogs'.  The Swiss Colony, family run since 1926, was known for 'sweets', but the most famous when I was growing up was Hickory Farms, established in the 1950's selling cheese and processed meat products.  It turns out Harry & David was actually founded in 1910 as Bear Creek Orchards out of Medford, Oregon.  They changed the name to Harry & David in the 1950's and brought fresh fruit into the gift giving picture particularly, apples and pears.  Then, there's the Wisconsin Cheese Company (self explanatory), and nut growers also got into the catalog business.  There have always been local candy companies such as Cerreta's in Arizona and Lamme's in Texas and See's in California trying to become nationally popular.  And, if you live in Texas, the Collin Street Bakery has been selling the Corsicana DeLuxe Fruitcake since 1896.  (I have a Corsicana fruitcake tin I inherited from my mother.)  There are a plethora of specialty food catalogs:  Omaha Steaks, The Popcorn Factory, Wolferman's, Di Bruni Bros., - the list is endless these days.  Food is the catalog merchandise - even if the catalog is on-line - that I'm still most likely to purchase at Christmas.  Here's the $299.95 gift basket from Harry & David  for someone who is throwing an illicit party during the pandemic.  No shopping or cooking required.

In the 1980's I had one friend who had a huge holiday shopping list since she bought for not only her friends but her current and oftentimes past co-workers out of catalogs.  Her shopping time began at 4:00am - her normal time to get up.  This woman believed in hand written cards and notes, and she also liked to shop at this ungodly hour.  Her physical catalog collection at Christmastime was just this side of unbelievable.  I could collect a three foot high pile of catalogs from her house and barely make a dent.  I could be happily occupied with 'on the throne' reading material until bathing suit time.  Ah, how I miss those catalogs.  

     

   

 

This Year's Christmas Quiz

 My, my, how time flies.  I just wrote my 20th annual Christmas letter.  Actually, I've been writing annual Christmas letters for about 40 years, but technology allowed me to word process them for the past twenty years.  What's fascinating (for me) is each year's Christmas letter is a snapshot of the year.  In 2000, Drake and I were both still working and Sarah Lynn was in high school.  Now, 20 years later, she's married with four college degrees and a kid, and we are all living in New York City.  Yes, time flies.  

We all know that 2020 has been all about COVID all the time EXCEPT when it's been about politics.  I'm pretty disgusted about the politics, and you can draw your own conclusions as to the source of my disgust.  I wake up every morning thankful that yesterday the virus didn't lay anyone low in our family.  Of course, the two people who have been the most impacted are my 93 year old mother-in-law and our two year old grandson.  Ironically,  the impact has been pretty much for the same reasons.  It's the physical lockdown of my mother-in-law's independent living situation, and the lockdown of all the available places for enrichment for the toddler. 

These are the kinds of costs which are intangible.  The tangible ones, of course, are the deaths and the lingering problems getting the virus is causing both physically and mentally.  Then, there are the hardships revolving around childcare, job loss, and business failures.  Since the problems have been so monumental, it's been hard for me to understand the lack of cohesiveness in the country as we struggle to fight this virus and its effects.  Hopefully, soon, this will all be in the rearview mirror of our lives.  All I can say is wear your mask and stay out of enclosed rooms and spaces with strangers as much as you can.

That said, the holidays keep rolling around.  I've put out my Christmas Carol quiz twice (including last year), and I will resupply it upon anyone's demand.  However, this year here's a new Christmas Traditions Matching Game.  It's pretty easy, and it will probably be enjoyed mostly by children.  Some adults WILL say, "Oh, I didn't know that.", so I thought it was worth reproducing here.  It's in two sheets.  One the questions, and the other the answers.  All you have to do is match the question with the answer.    Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year.  Here's to 2021 being better.

1. The mother of Jesus

2. This symbol represents the Star of Bethlehem that guided the Three Wisemen to Baby Jesus. 

3. A medieval custom of singing and dancing around a Christmas tree. 

4. Rang to announce the birth of Jesus. They still ring today. 

5. A manger scene representing the Jesus' place of birth. 

6. For many years, private notes of good tidings were sent at Christmas time. In 1843, Sir Henry Cole had 1000 special designed cards printed that started this Christmas tradition. 

7. Began with pre-Christian Romans who gave sweet cakes to their senators. 

8. The place where Baby Jesus slept. It is part of the Creche. 

9. The animals chosen by St. Nicholas to pull his sleigh. 

10. Four candles placed on a wreath. One candle is lit each Sunday before Christmas in anticipation of Christ's birthday. 

11. There is a legend associated with the beginning of this symbol: St. Nick, who wanted to remain anonymous and help a poor family, threw gold coins down their chimney. They fell into a stocking that was hanging there to dry. 

12. These told the shepherds of the birth of Jesus. 

13. Sprigs of this symbol were hung over the doorways of early French and English households showing that Christ’s birth was celebrated by the family. 

14. A real person. He was a kind bishop who brought presents to children and needy people. 

15. They came to the manger to honor Baby Jesus. 

16. The animals the wise men rode following the star to where Jesus was born. 

17. This flower was brought to the U.S. by Dr. J.R. Poinsett in 1825. He was the first United States ambassador to Mexico. Because of its flame color this symbol is sometimes called the Christmas Star. 

18. The husband of Mary. 

19. This symbol is full of spices and fruits. It represents the exotic treasures of the East that the Wise men brought to Jesus. 

20. Scholars who came to see Jesus drawn to him by an astrological phenomenon – a bright new star. 

21. These represent the light that Jesus brought to earth. 

22. The Christ child took shelter for a night under a pine tree. When the tree realized that it was caring for Jesus, tears of happiness fell from its branches. The tears froze into this symbol.

________________________________________________________________________________

1.    Advent Wreath   ______

2.    Angel     ______

3.    Bells       ______

4.    Camels  ______

5.    Candles ______

6.    Christmas Cards      ______

7.    Christmas Caroling  ______

8.    Christmas Cookies  ______

9.    Christmas Stocking  ______

10.          Creche       ______

11.          Holly  ______

12.          Icicles         ______

13.          Joseph       ______

14.          Manger       ______

15.          Mary  ______

16.          Mince Meat Pie    ______

17.          Poinsettia   ______

18.          Reindeer    ______

19.          Saint Nicholas     ______

20.           Shepherds          ______

21.          Stars ______

22.         Three Wise men  ______

The Holidays

 Halloween.  One more holiday instead of making us smile is filling us with anxiety.  Is there going to be trick or treating?  I guess if there is, the candy givers and receivers masks will at least seem like costumes instead of annoying burdens.  Well, there was trick or treating in our neighborhood of Brooklyn but with a twist.  I did have to applaud the ingenuity of some of the candy givers in our neighborhood.  A long PVC tube affixed to the stair railings of the brownstones - candy dropped in at the top of the stairs exiting straight into the child's Halloween bucket at the bottom of the stairs.  No exposure to COVID, and yet, everyone enjoying the child's delight.  One house rigged up a ramp and a lego truck descended with candy.  

Our little bird enjoyed his Halloween.  We did our Trick or Treating very early (not even dark yet) because we didn't want him overwhelmed by the older kids, and we knew he wouldn't last long.  He did manage to say, "Trick or Treat" and even a prompted "Thank you" at most houses.  Since he doesn't normally eat any processed sugar, we all got to experience that delightful toddler sugar 'high' as he happily gobbled some of his candy booty.  Worried about whether or not there would even be trick or treating, our little bird got to go to a 45 acre farm with animal petting during the day.  In true two year old fashion he was very excited about the cow (who pooped!), the tractor, and the pumpkins.

More disturbing than children collecting candy were the Halloween party goers.  The millennials have been insisting for years Halloween is costume party night for adults instead of a children's holiday, I've been worried they are going to insist on cramming together in masquerade gatherings to pursue their Saturday night alcohol poisoning.  Safety measures are masks PLUS social distancing not one or the other.  

Hard on the heels of Halloween comes Thanksgiving.  Already public health officials are expressing concern.  Will Thanksgiving be the match that turns the hundreds of COVID hotspots, into a conflagration?  More Americans travel on Thanksgiving than any other holiday - even Christmas -, and with the pandemic fatigue sweeping the country, well, how many people will resist the pull of traveling for one or the other holiday?

It's easy to convince yourself you can travel because, well, you're healthy.  You feel just fine.  Your kids are fine.  This attitude doesn't take into account a fairly significant percentage of COVID cases are asymptomatic.  Family gatherings can turn deadly not just for granny, but also for younger people.  And, that doesn't even begin to calculate the infection risk traveling by train, bus, or airplane to your family gathering.  

Of course, you can't just get a COVID test to verify you don't have the disease.  Well, you say, "CVS Drugstores have 'drive through testing' by appointment".  Here's the catch:  If that's your plan, understand the testing requirements.  If you use CVS (or a similar testing source), you have to answer a series of questions designed to determine if you have been exposed in a high risk area (hospital, prison, etc.) or if you have symptoms.  If you answer 'NO', then you don't qualify to just get a test (with a 2 - 3 day turnaround, maybe) because you want one unless you are willing to pay approximately $139 (at CVS) out of your pocket for each test.  Some insurance company rules about COVID tests might circumvent these CVS rules, but if you need a test to travel, and you don't want to lay out the $139, contact your health insurance company well in advance.  

New travel restrictions have just been announced for arriving in New York if you are a non-commuter.  You must show a negative COVID test when you arrive, be quarantined for three days, and then show another negative test.  Anyone can do the arithmetic.  Family of four:  No symptoms.  Over $1000 dollars added to your travel cost.  For lots and lots of people these types of restrictions will fuel anger, sadness and resentment as our major holidays fall prey to the pandemic.  Railing against the pandemic is as pointless as being angry and resentful about the weather.    

Our rituals have been taking a beating for months.  Now, Thanksgiving, Eid Al-Fitr, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanza are going to depend on electronic media and other creative ways to celebrate this year.  Even worse than using SKYPE or ZOOM to contact friends and family over the holidays are the people who are going to ignore the reality of the pandemic and pretend there's no problem as they drive to see the relatives with whom they have not created a virus free pod.  Just because they are your extended family doesn't mean you can't get sick.        

Be smart.  Be safe.  Take the long view.  This too will pass.  If someone you love sickens and dies or even becomes very ill because you are tired of the pandemic, how do you live with yourself in the aftermath of an impulsive, short sighted decision of how you managed your holidays this year?