If you don't think modern major league baseball is all about pitching, witness the 2014 Texas Ranger's season. By the beginning of the season two of our five starting pitchers were gone. Within a few weeks another was lost to Tommy John surgery, and those still standing were stressed and inconsistent. Paired with other injuries, which set an all time major league baseball record for disabled list games missed, (See http://grantland.com/the-triangle/texas-rangers-historic-injury-woes/) the Rangers were 67 and 95 and finished last in the division. Almost a complete turnaround from the 2013 season.
So, the good news about the 2015 Rangers is they won't be THAT bad this upcoming season, but the loss of Darvish for the entire season, and based on what I've seen of Tommy John recovery, part of the next, is making the 2015 season a disappointment in the making. In my opinion, because of the still stressed starting pitching staff, (missing Darvish, Harrison, and Perez), lack of left handed relief pitching, and a repaired Feliz untested closing for an entire season, this is not a play-off team without a significant amount of good luck, or as baseball people say, we need 'lightening in a bottle'.
This Spring Training has actually been much more fun for us than the "set clubs" we have witnessed in the past. There's not much joking and kidding around in the dugout because so many of the players are grinding constantly trying to win one of the open roster spots on the team. Also, the new manager, Banister, is stoic compared to Ron Washington's exuberant attitude and that's being reflected in the dugout. Keep in mind Jon Daniel's said in last night's interview contractual obligations may affect any of the team's personnel decisions, and Drake and I are not privy to all those nuances. However, that said, Let's start with the outfield: There are three outfield spots open, one starting position and two reserve (backup) positions.
Young 25 year old Ryan Rua, a homegrown prospect, with some successful Ranger performance last fall, is the front runner for making the team. He's been fun to watch, and he's been constantly improving this Spring. Following him, are four other candidates, Jake Smokinski, 26, signed before last year after being released by the Nationals also had fall success with the Rangers. Then, there's Nate Schierholtz, a retread, who is 31 and has bounced around a variety of National League clubs. He was the last Spring Training invitee signed by the Rangers. Two younger long shots are Carlos Peguero, a 27 year old who looks eerily like a young Nelson Cruz. He hits for power and has a similar trajectory of being a late bloomer. Finally, there's Delino DeShields, Jr., yes, he's the major leaguerer's son, who is only 22. He's a Rule 5 draftee from the Houston Astos. If he doesn't make our major league roster, we have to offer him back to the Astros.
Drake's prediction is the final two slots will go to Shierholtz and Smolinski - with Peguero being sent to Triple A to continue working on this strikeout problem. DeShields will be sent back to the Astros. Drake feels DeShields is not ready for prime time, and the Rangers don't have the luxury of developing him into a big leaguer while part of the major league roster. My prediction is Smolinski and DeShields will make the club with Shierholtz released and Peguero sent down. I think Daniels will not let DeShields get away. Since, the season is already compromised, we do have the luxury of developing DeShields.
Some last thoughts about the outfield. Martin looks healthy and is getting himself ready for the season. Drake's analysis is he's ready to be the lead off hitter. He's showing much more plate discipline than he has in the past. We all know he can bunt, and he's fast. Chin Soo Choo, or Jon Daniel's brain fart as I like to term him, has shown nothing this Spring. Or, as Drake puts it, he's shown the continuing tendency to be fragile with nagging injuries. That's why we both think Peguero will be in Triple A to start the season, so he can fine tune his game. He'll be ready for the call-up if Choo goes down. Why Daniels ever thought this loser was worth a 7 year multi-million dollar contract is beyond either of us.
Let's talk about the infield. The starting positions are set here. (Fielder, Odor, Andrus, and Beltre). Fielder looks like Fielder - showing power, a great presence at the plate, even beating the extreme shift teams like to play against him. With his plate threat we also have to accept a mediocre glove at first base, and not so hot speed on the base paths. However, he puts butts in the seats which we will need to hold the fan base while we hang on during this rough patch. Beltre looks very good, but he is 36 on April 7th, and his age is going to start working against him over the long, long season. Andrus looks in the best shape ever, and he's had a sparkling Spring Training. (The club is so serious this Spring even the irrepressible Elvis can't lighten the mood.) The best news for the future is Mr. Odor has also had a great Spring and isn't showing any signs of sophomore slump.
The real news for the Ranger infield is who will be the utility players on the team. There are four candidates left standing for two spots. One roster spot is for a middle infielder, and one roster spot is for a corner infielder. Defensive skills are the paramount factor for these team slots. The four candidates are: Adam Rosales, a familiar name to Ranger fans, seems to have the corner infielder spot locked. That leaves three players competing for the middle infielder spot: Elliot Johnson, Ed Lucas and Thomas Field. These are all new names to the Rangers. It's a toss up as to which one will get it at this point. Drake would lean toward Thomas Field because of his combination of offense/defense, but the other two can also play the corner positions. This may be a good example where the contractual obligations will call the shots. All I know is these are the type of players who hang onto the edge of major league baseball, and each Spring Training finds them desperately grinding away to grab that $500,000 salary, the major league minimum.
Turning to the pitching, it's not all bad news. The starting rotation is almost set - four out of the five will be - Lewis, Holland, Gallardo, and Detwiler with Nick Martinez having the inside line over Nick Tepesch on the fifth slot after his fabulous performance last night against the Rockies. Both Gallardo and Lewis are veterans fine tuning their wares, but both will be solid during the season. Holland is being brought along slowly in terms of stamina, but he will be ready for prime time. Detwiler is a retread from the National's who could return to top form or be a disappointment - time will tell. Martinez looks to be an up and coming starter who Drake thinks is poised for a break out season.
Our bullpen is a muddle. The 7th and 8th inning set up men and the closer are set: Tolleson, Scheppers, and Feliz. After that, well, there's only one left handed reliever in the bullpen - an interesting side armer called Claudio who has a 65 mph change up he can throw for a first pitch strike. Oh, he's got a lock on the left handed specialist role. Don't be surprised to see a late trade for another left handed reliever. (Drake thinks Bryan Matusz from the Orioles.) The other two or three spots are hard to call. They can come from any combination of relief specialists, or candidates who fail to make the starting rotation. Young rotation prospects are usually sent to Triple A. Management wants them to continue to work as starters. Basically, the last two or three spots are up for grabs.
Finally, let's talk catchers. That's pretty set with Chirinos being the everyday catcher and veteran Corporan being the back up. One really exciting young catcher we saw this spring was Alfaro - sent back this week to AA - a tremendous young player with all five tools.
That's the report from Spring Training. The fun this year will be watching the young pitchers as well as seeing Odor play his second season. Hopefully, Fielder will deliver the home runs he's famous for since Mitch Moreland, who's looked great this spring, will be protecting his back as the DH, the fifth hitter, and the first base reliever. Drake's overall assessment is the starting line up will be good, but the Ranger's final place in the division will be based on the success of the starting pitching. He predicts a third place finish, and I agree, because of a shaky starting rotation. If all three veterans are solid and we get good performances from the youngsters Detwiler, Martinez and Tepesch, we could rise in the division. Keep in mind 'magic' (lightening in a bottle) happens for some team. The Rangers need some of that lightening to be contenders.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Expanding Freaked Out by Electrons - a Guest Blog
Boy, do I have smart friends. This dude is one of the smartest, and I've known him since he was Drake's college roommate our sophomore year at OU. Back in those days, Dale, the only guy I knew from Kingfisher, Oklahoma, drove an MG, and drank REAL (and for our college incomes EXPENSIVE) hooch. He left Oklahoma with an engineering degree in metallurgy, but that was only the start. He has a master's
from somewhere I don't remember, spent over ten years swashbuckling around the world while being a gainfully employed ex-pat in Saudi before, during and after the first Gulf war. (You should hear him talk about that experience.) THEN, he landed in Cambridge where he got a PhD. Now he's settled in Bartelsville, OK raising a family and coping with eldercare problems just like the rest of us. Sigh... Anyway, here's another angle of his about the Electronic Revolution swirling around us which he was gracious enough to share.
 |
| Drake and Dale, 1972 - practicing those 'get a job' handshakes |
There is a lot of new knowledge zipping around as
electrons in the ether these days.
electrons in the ether these days.
But there is a lot of old knowledge that is going to be lost.
You have probably read about the great winnowing of knowledge that took place
when people changed from scrolls to bound books. The monks who copied the old
manuscripts picked and chose which ones were worth their trouble and the cost of
the vellum. Hundreds of old Greek and Roman manuscripts were lost forever,
crumbled into dust as the scrolls decayed, many now known only by reputation.
when people changed from scrolls to bound books. The monks who copied the old
manuscripts picked and chose which ones were worth their trouble and the cost of
the vellum. Hundreds of old Greek and Roman manuscripts were lost forever,
crumbled into dust as the scrolls decayed, many now known only by reputation.
Something similar, although less drastic, happened when Gutenberg started
the movable type revolution. Not all those gilt-edged illuminated hand-
lettered manuscripts got into print. Some of those old rare books survived dusty old
libraries in Oxford, Cambridge and the Italian universities. Many did not.
the movable type revolution. Not all those gilt-edged illuminated hand-
lettered manuscripts got into print. Some of those old rare books survived dusty old
libraries in Oxford, Cambridge and the Italian universities. Many did not.
I fear the digital revolution will create another great winnowing of knowledge. Not
everything is going to be scanned and digitized. And some of what is digitized will
become unreadable as electronic storage devices change. (When was the last time
you read something off of a 5-1/2 inch floppy? Or even a 3-1/4 inch "hard" disk? I
have files from the 90's that it would take a CIA cryptographer to decipher).
everything is going to be scanned and digitized. And some of what is digitized will
become unreadable as electronic storage devices change. (When was the last time
you read something off of a 5-1/2 inch floppy? Or even a 3-1/4 inch "hard" disk? I
have files from the 90's that it would take a CIA cryptographer to decipher).
And how permanent are the latest electronic storage systems? Is the tightening spiral
of obsolescence played out? Or is there more to come. And if so, what will we lose of
our last 20 years of literature?
of obsolescence played out? Or is there more to come. And if so, what will we lose of
our last 20 years of literature?
Interesting thoughts, no?
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Freaked Out by Electrons
When one travels, one can not possibly subscribe to hard copy magazines. The magazines would never catch me. I like magazines. At one point in my life our family subscribed to Time, Sports Illustrated, Texas Monthly, Reader's Digest, American Heritage, Southern Living, Highlights, and Zoo Books. Our house overflowed with magazines. Add in the catalogs these magazine subscriptions generated, and we were awash in glossy paper. I never lacked for bathroom reading.
Everyone jokes about reading in the bathroom, but it often saved my sanity in an 1100 square foot house. My family lived on top of one another, and the idea of privacy was laughable. The bathroom was the only reliable place no one would walk in on you, make requests, or issue hop to it orders. Reading magazines on the throne was the excuse as to why I was in there 'so long'. My mother actually encouraged reading; she used to walk around the house with scraps of paper in her pockets, so she could bookmark the ten or so books I was reading that routinely littered her tiny house. She bought Time and Sports Illustrated as Christmas gifts for Drake and I for more than 20 years.
I satisfy my craving for the shiny pages by buying used magazines at the Thrift Store Shopping Mall. (We have a 'strip center' about 8 blocks from the Sun City house which is composed entirely of thrift stores. We call the place 'Jan's Amusement Park'.) At least two or three of the stores sell all kinds of used magazines for $.25 each. A year old Allure magazine is how I learned I was out of touch with the beauty world. By sheer chance, I picked up an American Heritage magazine - didn't really pay much attention to how old it was - history doesn't usually change. However, as I was reading along (history of Supermarkets if you want to know), it suddenly dawned on me there were no websites or links to the internet anywhere in the magazine. Guess what the date was of the magazine? 1985!
It started me thinking how much the Electronic Revolution has changed our lives, and how quickly it has happened. Historically speaking, Americans are very, very good at adaptation. Supermarkets are a great example of our adaptation skills. It took less than 20 years for Americans to move away from Mom/Pop grocery stores where food was sold in bulk, packaged for customers, then handed over to them all the while 'running a tab' with the owner. The new supermakets were stores filled with prepackaged goods patrons self selected from aisles of products, brought to one clerk who tabulated the total and collected money for those groceries right on the spot. Several other technologies had to go hand in hand for supermarkets to take hold - also big changes - such as AFFORDABLE home electric refrigeration, economical packaging, and cars to carry home those groceries.
My point is Americans embrace change at a frightening rate of speed. The underlying fear of change is always there even when we are wholeheartedly wallowing in it. The Electronic Revolution certainly qualifies as fast change. The fear of that change is being acted out in our popular culture. We are acting out our fears of the brave new electronic world barreling down on us with visions of violence, end of the world science fiction, and escapism (ie reality TV).
I started getting curious about the electronic timeline. If there were no websites in 1985, then when did they start? So.... I did ONLINE research, of course. Every library worth its salt is busily scanning in information, both past and present, as fast as they can punch buttons. Here's what I found.
"History of the internet." Computer Act!ve 21 June 2012. General OneFile. Web. 24 Mar. 2015.
Are you freaked out yet? I was. Looking at the significant, albeit, superficial timeline, my first question is 'what's next?'. This timeline also seems to point to the idea one must learn to use electronic devices; otherwise, you could become an anachronism in your own lifetime. For every 'new' device, there are a whole slew of 'things', 'jobs' and even entire industries which no longer exist or which are 'converting to electrons'. Newspapers, magazines, encyclopedias, road maps, almanacs, house telephones, film cameras, and wrist watches to name a few. Think about that. Do you know ANYONE under the age of 80 who doesn't own a mobile phone, or a P.C., a laptop, a tablet, or a gaming system? I'm wrapped in electrons, and I love it. As I 'log into' my medical portal, shop, read, research, or stream, sometimes it feels like invisible electrons are connecting my physical person to these devices. Hmmm....perhaps that's what's next. I can imagine it; can't you?
Everyone jokes about reading in the bathroom, but it often saved my sanity in an 1100 square foot house. My family lived on top of one another, and the idea of privacy was laughable. The bathroom was the only reliable place no one would walk in on you, make requests, or issue hop to it orders. Reading magazines on the throne was the excuse as to why I was in there 'so long'. My mother actually encouraged reading; she used to walk around the house with scraps of paper in her pockets, so she could bookmark the ten or so books I was reading that routinely littered her tiny house. She bought Time and Sports Illustrated as Christmas gifts for Drake and I for more than 20 years.
I satisfy my craving for the shiny pages by buying used magazines at the Thrift Store Shopping Mall. (We have a 'strip center' about 8 blocks from the Sun City house which is composed entirely of thrift stores. We call the place 'Jan's Amusement Park'.) At least two or three of the stores sell all kinds of used magazines for $.25 each. A year old Allure magazine is how I learned I was out of touch with the beauty world. By sheer chance, I picked up an American Heritage magazine - didn't really pay much attention to how old it was - history doesn't usually change. However, as I was reading along (history of Supermarkets if you want to know), it suddenly dawned on me there were no websites or links to the internet anywhere in the magazine. Guess what the date was of the magazine? 1985!
It started me thinking how much the Electronic Revolution has changed our lives, and how quickly it has happened. Historically speaking, Americans are very, very good at adaptation. Supermarkets are a great example of our adaptation skills. It took less than 20 years for Americans to move away from Mom/Pop grocery stores where food was sold in bulk, packaged for customers, then handed over to them all the while 'running a tab' with the owner. The new supermakets were stores filled with prepackaged goods patrons self selected from aisles of products, brought to one clerk who tabulated the total and collected money for those groceries right on the spot. Several other technologies had to go hand in hand for supermarkets to take hold - also big changes - such as AFFORDABLE home electric refrigeration, economical packaging, and cars to carry home those groceries.
My point is Americans embrace change at a frightening rate of speed. The underlying fear of change is always there even when we are wholeheartedly wallowing in it. The Electronic Revolution certainly qualifies as fast change. The fear of that change is being acted out in our popular culture. We are acting out our fears of the brave new electronic world barreling down on us with visions of violence, end of the world science fiction, and escapism (ie reality TV).
I started getting curious about the electronic timeline. If there were no websites in 1985, then when did they start? So.... I did ONLINE research, of course. Every library worth its salt is busily scanning in information, both past and present, as fast as they can punch buttons. Here's what I found.
1969 - The first internet link is created between two universities in California
1972 - A similar system starts to be used to send emails
1980 - The ethernet cable is introduced. It is still widely used today
1985 - The first .com web address is registered, www.symbolics.com
1986 - The term internet is used as a shortening of internetwork
1990 - Tim Berners-Lee coins the phrase 'world wide web'
April 1993 - Mosaic web browser is launched, displaying text and images together for the first time
June 1993 - The HTML-programming language, which is used to create web pages, is released
1995 - Yahoo is founded and the dot-com boom begins
1996 - Hotmail is launched. There are 342,081 websites online
1998 - Google opens its first office in a garage in California
2001 - Pope John Paul II sends the first papal email
2005 - Video-sharing site You Tube goes live
Source Citation (MLA 7th Edition)
Are you freaked out yet? I was. Looking at the significant, albeit, superficial timeline, my first question is 'what's next?'. This timeline also seems to point to the idea one must learn to use electronic devices; otherwise, you could become an anachronism in your own lifetime. For every 'new' device, there are a whole slew of 'things', 'jobs' and even entire industries which no longer exist or which are 'converting to electrons'. Newspapers, magazines, encyclopedias, road maps, almanacs, house telephones, film cameras, and wrist watches to name a few. Think about that. Do you know ANYONE under the age of 80 who doesn't own a mobile phone, or a P.C., a laptop, a tablet, or a gaming system? I'm wrapped in electrons, and I love it. As I 'log into' my medical portal, shop, read, research, or stream, sometimes it feels like invisible electrons are connecting my physical person to these devices. Hmmm....perhaps that's what's next. I can imagine it; can't you?
Thursday, March 12, 2015
Mirror, Mirror on the Stand
It all started with a mirror. For years and years I'd used a mirror which was regular on one side and 3X on the other side about 6 inches in diameter fastened into a plastic stand. The mirror twirled in the stand. That mirror and I got along swimmingly. Then, one day the stand cracked, and I limped along for another six months with me holding the mirror in one hand while doing make-up application with the other. Not ideal. Finally, I found a swank twirling mirror on a stand. However, here's the rub. One side was regular, the other side was 5x.
Suddenly, I discovered my WRINKLES. OMG!!!! The extra 2X of magnification has been my downfall. Surely, there's a cure for these wrinkles which doesn't involve surgery. I'm dead sure elective cosmetic surgery is not in the Smith annual budget. I did the next best thing. I bought a beauty magazine, not a current one, of course, I'm not daft enough to buy a magazine for $4.00. I found one from June of 2014 for $.25 with YOUR 57 FAVORITE BEAUTY PRODUCTS. THE READER'S CHOICE AWARDS! screaming at me from the cover. I mean how different can beauty be that's 10 months old.
When I opened the magazine, a whole new world popped up right in front of me. Virtually every page was a revelation. First, there was an ad for mascara. (OK, I know about mascara.) Actually, it turns out I don't. There were four back to back glossy, brightly colored pages informing me that mascara now has double the collagen; it's PUMPED UP!, and it's supposed to be applied with weird curvy brushes. I'm five pages into the mag, and these folks had me wondering if I've been using the wrong mascara since I was 14.
In the first 20 pages, the real baffling ads were pore vanisher, a men's perfume advertised by either Matthew McConnahey or his doppelganger, bronzer, tea tree magic shampoo, short order fiber glaze cream, glossing hair dye, goddess glow, hair smoothing stuff, body butter, and hair volumizer. Doesn't the word 'magic' just sort of jump out at you? Maybe Merlin waves his wand over the shampoo.
Then, the wrinkle ads started: "double serum complete age control", "intensive wrinkle protocol", "tone correcting protocol", "intensive repair eye serum", and "advanced retinol concentrated serum". Apparently, 'intensive', 'serum', and 'protocol' are three of the big words in the wrinkle game. Protocol really baffled me. I figured they didn't mean the official rules governing affairs of state, but the closest definition I could find was "a procedure for carrying out scientific or medical experiments. MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS! I just wanted to get rid of my wrinkles.
I pulled myself out of the glossy, beautifully photographed pages, and decided to do some research. It turns out Consumer Reports did testing of wrinkle products and discovered there was no discernible difference in the results no matter if you used the super expensive products flecked with gold leaf or the cheap ones with the screw top bottles. Well, it was sort of a 'good news', 'bad news' conclusion: Even the cheap stuff does minimally reduce wrinkles, but if you're old and have wrinkles, well, they are yours to keep.
Heading back into the magazine, I found the 'Reader's Choices' of products. It amused me to find a cheap 'drug store' recommendation, and an expensive speciality/department store recommendation for each product. As I perused, it dawned on me that if I used cleanser, scrub, moisturizer, sun screen, anti-aging product, eye cream, lipstick, gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, concealer, foundation, shampoo, conditioner, volumizer, defrizzer, hair color, body scrub, body lotion, self tanner, deodorant, tooth whitener, and nail polish, I would never have any time to do anything else except primp.
No wonder I have wrinkles; the beauty regimen is just too tough for me. Oh, and did you know 47% of this beauty mag's readers bought their first anti-aging cream in their 20's - in THEIR 20's! Perhaps, it's time to trot out on my charm and scintillating personality because I think my wrinkles are here to stay.
Suddenly, I discovered my WRINKLES. OMG!!!! The extra 2X of magnification has been my downfall. Surely, there's a cure for these wrinkles which doesn't involve surgery. I'm dead sure elective cosmetic surgery is not in the Smith annual budget. I did the next best thing. I bought a beauty magazine, not a current one, of course, I'm not daft enough to buy a magazine for $4.00. I found one from June of 2014 for $.25 with YOUR 57 FAVORITE BEAUTY PRODUCTS. THE READER'S CHOICE AWARDS! screaming at me from the cover. I mean how different can beauty be that's 10 months old.
When I opened the magazine, a whole new world popped up right in front of me. Virtually every page was a revelation. First, there was an ad for mascara. (OK, I know about mascara.) Actually, it turns out I don't. There were four back to back glossy, brightly colored pages informing me that mascara now has double the collagen; it's PUMPED UP!, and it's supposed to be applied with weird curvy brushes. I'm five pages into the mag, and these folks had me wondering if I've been using the wrong mascara since I was 14.
In the first 20 pages, the real baffling ads were pore vanisher, a men's perfume advertised by either Matthew McConnahey or his doppelganger, bronzer, tea tree magic shampoo, short order fiber glaze cream, glossing hair dye, goddess glow, hair smoothing stuff, body butter, and hair volumizer. Doesn't the word 'magic' just sort of jump out at you? Maybe Merlin waves his wand over the shampoo.
Then, the wrinkle ads started: "double serum complete age control", "intensive wrinkle protocol", "tone correcting protocol", "intensive repair eye serum", and "advanced retinol concentrated serum". Apparently, 'intensive', 'serum', and 'protocol' are three of the big words in the wrinkle game. Protocol really baffled me. I figured they didn't mean the official rules governing affairs of state, but the closest definition I could find was "a procedure for carrying out scientific or medical experiments. MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS! I just wanted to get rid of my wrinkles.
I pulled myself out of the glossy, beautifully photographed pages, and decided to do some research. It turns out Consumer Reports did testing of wrinkle products and discovered there was no discernible difference in the results no matter if you used the super expensive products flecked with gold leaf or the cheap ones with the screw top bottles. Well, it was sort of a 'good news', 'bad news' conclusion: Even the cheap stuff does minimally reduce wrinkles, but if you're old and have wrinkles, well, they are yours to keep.
Heading back into the magazine, I found the 'Reader's Choices' of products. It amused me to find a cheap 'drug store' recommendation, and an expensive speciality/department store recommendation for each product. As I perused, it dawned on me that if I used cleanser, scrub, moisturizer, sun screen, anti-aging product, eye cream, lipstick, gloss, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, concealer, foundation, shampoo, conditioner, volumizer, defrizzer, hair color, body scrub, body lotion, self tanner, deodorant, tooth whitener, and nail polish, I would never have any time to do anything else except primp.
No wonder I have wrinkles; the beauty regimen is just too tough for me. Oh, and did you know 47% of this beauty mag's readers bought their first anti-aging cream in their 20's - in THEIR 20's! Perhaps, it's time to trot out on my charm and scintillating personality because I think my wrinkles are here to stay.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Every Old Crow Thinks Hers is the Blackest
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| Drake is practicing his grandparenting look |
I got intrigued about finding the origin of this phrase. That was a complete dead end. It's listed in the Dictionary of American Proverbs none of the listings have any etymology. I found it in a scholarly article from the University of Nebraska where some English professor was desperate to publish, so he collected proverbs and sayings and cataloged them into categories. However, he neglected the REAL scholarship of running down the origins. Gosh, even I can say, "Here's a list of proverbs referring to money."
Then, I remembered that I used to teach proverbs, cliches, and sayings as an exercise in critical thinking. One day, I realized that the kids I taught really hadn't heard most of the sayings I grew up with, so I just channeled my mother, who LOVED proverbs, and went looking for the foreign equivalents. Texas Monthly was kind enough to print an article with a list of Texas sayings which I also used. (My favorite: "I'm riding the gravy train on biscuit wheels!") I concocted a list for 'translation' as a group exercise. Here's the list if you want to play the game:
Whoever becomes a sheep is eaten by the wolf. (Greek)
Lie down with dogs; get up with fleas. (My mother’s version)
Love is evil, you will even fall in love with a goat.
(Russian)
Love is blind (My mother’s version)
Dirty clothes are washed at home. (Spanish)
Don’t air your dirty laundry. (My mother’s version)
Don’t let the peasant know how good the cheese with pears is. (Italian)
Your
eyes are bigger than your stomach. (My mother’s version)
Even if a baboon wears a gold ring, he’s still an ugly thing. (
A leopard doesn’t change his spots. (My mother’s version)
Whoever steals an egg steals an ox. (
Once a thief, always a thief. (My mother’s version.)
Restless feet walk into a snake pit. (Africa )
Idle hands do the devil’s work. (My mother’s version)
ANSWERS: Match these to the sayings above
People without purpose can drift into unsavory places and
thoughts.
Know your place, don’t long for things you can’t afford.
Personal family problems should be sorted out in private, not
in the view of everyone else.
Don’t be taken in by superficial changes in appearance
Strong emotion can blind you, and make you see someone for
better than they really are.
Follow
the wrong people, and you will fail with them.
It doesn't matter how much you steal.
Oh, and "I'm riding the gravy train with biscuit wheels" MEANS You're in high cotton - at least that's what my mother would have said.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The Rules
Women and men are different. Now, that's no surprise to anyone with a pair of eyes. As my mother used to say, "Boys are just cut from a different cloth." What made me start thinking about this obvious truth are the unwritten rules. It seems to me women live their lives according to a very intricate set of unwritten rules.
We went to a bridge party last week. (No, not celebrating a structure being built, but playing cards and eating snacks.) It's an example of an event when the rules start kicking in. These unseen, unspoken rules seem to be in effect for all women no matter what age. Eighty year old women have the same basic set of rules in common with twenty something women. Anyway, the woman hosting the party called to invite Drake and I. And after I'd accepted, I said, "What can I bring?"
She replied, "Oh, no, that's OK. You don't need to bring anything, but what I'm doing won't be fancy."
I reiterated, "I don't mind; I'll be happy to bring anything you'd like for me to."
She said, No, really, I'm good."
There you have a rules situation: First, SHE extended the invitation. Men never do this kind of calling. Second, it's a rule you have to offer to bring some type of food or drink item. Third, you have to offer a second time to indicate you're really sincerely want to help her. And if you get the turn down twice, you don't have to offer a third time - that's being pushy and intimating her food will be substandard.
Speaking of food, there are lots of rules about food. These rules HAVE gotten somewhat simplified since more and more women don't cook as constantly as they did when I was growing up. According to the 2010 census statistics, 67% of American mothers work outside the home. (Here's a fun fact - that number is up 800% since 1867 - just another way American women have of adapting to changing realities.) Back to my point, women don't cook as much because they don't have time to cook as much. The old rules of the 1960's decreed food was to be taken to a friend in a large number of situations and at the drop of a hat. The streamlined set of 21st century rules have shaken down to two occasions when a women is expected to offer food: Birth and death. A woman is still expected to provide food to a new mother and to a grieving family. It's an expression of her feelings and understanding of the nuts and bolts of the situation. When's the last time you heard any husband, father or brother say, "Well, I need to think about what I'm going to take over to the Johnson's." If three wise women had shown up at Jesus' birth, forget gold, frankincense, and myrrh, they would have brought, food, baby clothes and diapers.
Another food rule is you have to eat something prepared by the hostess at a gathering and compliment the food item she is the most proud of. This is generally anything made from scratch. If she bagged and boxed it, then you are expected to compliment the appearance of the table. I screwed up at the last gathering of women I attended. You have to pay close attention to these rules if you expect to make any new women friends. It was a Circle meeting of Methodist women. The meetings are held in the member's homes, so you have to be vigilant about the rules. I didn't eat anything. BIG mistake even though I was limiting everything I was eating because of the intestinal bug. The fact I didn't eat the luscious looking angel food cake with home made fruit topping upset the equilibrium of the party. When it dawned on me what an idiot I'd been, I tried hard to make up for my faux pas by admiring her house.
When a young woman observes all the unwritten rules, her mother gets to bask in glory. It's as if she's passed on the Holy Grail, and her daughter has not only accepted the burden but buffed it up to a shine. Looking good in front of your mother's friends, especially her inner circle, is a way of validating her parenting. Sarah Lynn and I have been at this game for a long time. We started when she was a very small child, under the age of 6! When we would attend a function, I would carefully explain what behavior was expected and give her the rationale her job was to make me look good by delivering acceptable behavior in public. At home in private, she could be a hellion if she so chose.
And, of course, at some point you launch your daughter and hope she 'gets it'. She's on her own as a woman. We all belong to that club, and everyone has to pay the membership dues. Those who don't are mentally if not physically shunned. I was basking with rays of golden light shooting out of me during Sarah's wedding week. Sarah and almost all of her friends were hitting the unwritten rules on all cylinders. There was one, however, who was flaunting the rules repeatedly. Her behavior completely changed how I thought about her while some of the young women I didn't know well understood the rules so perfectly, it made me proud Sarah had chosen them as friends.
As a woman, you can't escape the rules. It's the price we pay for intimacy with one another. Following these unwritten rules are the way we sum one another up and decide which level of intimacy we will allow with another woman. That's the reason for thank-you notes. That's the reason for offers of help. That's the reason you take food.
We went to a bridge party last week. (No, not celebrating a structure being built, but playing cards and eating snacks.) It's an example of an event when the rules start kicking in. These unseen, unspoken rules seem to be in effect for all women no matter what age. Eighty year old women have the same basic set of rules in common with twenty something women. Anyway, the woman hosting the party called to invite Drake and I. And after I'd accepted, I said, "What can I bring?"
She replied, "Oh, no, that's OK. You don't need to bring anything, but what I'm doing won't be fancy."
I reiterated, "I don't mind; I'll be happy to bring anything you'd like for me to."
She said, No, really, I'm good."
There you have a rules situation: First, SHE extended the invitation. Men never do this kind of calling. Second, it's a rule you have to offer to bring some type of food or drink item. Third, you have to offer a second time to indicate you're really sincerely want to help her. And if you get the turn down twice, you don't have to offer a third time - that's being pushy and intimating her food will be substandard.
Speaking of food, there are lots of rules about food. These rules HAVE gotten somewhat simplified since more and more women don't cook as constantly as they did when I was growing up. According to the 2010 census statistics, 67% of American mothers work outside the home. (Here's a fun fact - that number is up 800% since 1867 - just another way American women have of adapting to changing realities.) Back to my point, women don't cook as much because they don't have time to cook as much. The old rules of the 1960's decreed food was to be taken to a friend in a large number of situations and at the drop of a hat. The streamlined set of 21st century rules have shaken down to two occasions when a women is expected to offer food: Birth and death. A woman is still expected to provide food to a new mother and to a grieving family. It's an expression of her feelings and understanding of the nuts and bolts of the situation. When's the last time you heard any husband, father or brother say, "Well, I need to think about what I'm going to take over to the Johnson's." If three wise women had shown up at Jesus' birth, forget gold, frankincense, and myrrh, they would have brought, food, baby clothes and diapers.
Another food rule is you have to eat something prepared by the hostess at a gathering and compliment the food item she is the most proud of. This is generally anything made from scratch. If she bagged and boxed it, then you are expected to compliment the appearance of the table. I screwed up at the last gathering of women I attended. You have to pay close attention to these rules if you expect to make any new women friends. It was a Circle meeting of Methodist women. The meetings are held in the member's homes, so you have to be vigilant about the rules. I didn't eat anything. BIG mistake even though I was limiting everything I was eating because of the intestinal bug. The fact I didn't eat the luscious looking angel food cake with home made fruit topping upset the equilibrium of the party. When it dawned on me what an idiot I'd been, I tried hard to make up for my faux pas by admiring her house.
When a young woman observes all the unwritten rules, her mother gets to bask in glory. It's as if she's passed on the Holy Grail, and her daughter has not only accepted the burden but buffed it up to a shine. Looking good in front of your mother's friends, especially her inner circle, is a way of validating her parenting. Sarah Lynn and I have been at this game for a long time. We started when she was a very small child, under the age of 6! When we would attend a function, I would carefully explain what behavior was expected and give her the rationale her job was to make me look good by delivering acceptable behavior in public. At home in private, she could be a hellion if she so chose.
And, of course, at some point you launch your daughter and hope she 'gets it'. She's on her own as a woman. We all belong to that club, and everyone has to pay the membership dues. Those who don't are mentally if not physically shunned. I was basking with rays of golden light shooting out of me during Sarah's wedding week. Sarah and almost all of her friends were hitting the unwritten rules on all cylinders. There was one, however, who was flaunting the rules repeatedly. Her behavior completely changed how I thought about her while some of the young women I didn't know well understood the rules so perfectly, it made me proud Sarah had chosen them as friends.
As a woman, you can't escape the rules. It's the price we pay for intimacy with one another. Following these unwritten rules are the way we sum one another up and decide which level of intimacy we will allow with another woman. That's the reason for thank-you notes. That's the reason for offers of help. That's the reason you take food.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Absolutely Nothing
I've been trying to write an entry to my blog for over a week. I promised myself the way to get going again was to write regularly - each and every week. Well, it's been 14 days since I posted. Sometimes it just feels like life has hold of me like a rip tide in the ocean. It's in control, not me. What's that old saw, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Well, I've been paving instead of writing.
Right now...I'm trying to write, and Drake is talking to me about the Newfoundland reservation. He's oblivious to what I'm doing. The upcoming trip has consumed us both. We sit together with dueling computers. Toronto? Try finding a place that's not a high rise with an underground garage. We learned in New Haven that the trailer has to have air, lots of air above it. Major screw-up today - we discovered the ferry from Nova Scotia to St. John's, Newfoundland doesn't start running until one week AFTER we are booked to arrive. Now, we are trying to flip our reservations from one side of the island to the other since the ferry on the opposite side runs all year long. (We could go and come from that side, but it's a 561 mile drive added in if we can't flip the house reservations. We are going to have to endure the French Canadians for an extra five days because it's cheaper to stay in Gatineau than Ottawa. Drake unearthed the Berlitz book of French which I bought in 1980 before I went to Europe. I'll need it. Gatineau is in the Quebec Province (official language FRENCH), and Ottawa is in Ontario (HELLO, ENGLISH). They are separated only by a river. We have managed to hammer out a trip timetable that starts May 5th and end October 23rd.
Then, there's exercise. I know I need to exercise. I have to exercise. I hate to exercise. It's sort of like a conjugation. Today, I finally felt so guilty I proposed a bike ride. You can not write while riding a real bicycle. We took a three hour bike ride. Don't be impressed, Sun City is FLAT. If you can't ride a bike here, you can't ride a bike anywhere. My carrot for the exercise is we rode to various garage sales. I didn't find anything in the jackpot category, but I managed several small treasures. Garage saling is big pleasure for me, so the three hours flew by. We also managed to work our way over to the new ice cream store. Yum. (I had maple walnut.)
Let's don't forget the family obligations. Our Arizona relations are always extremely busy. They are really like a rolling circus when there are family events. We've all been waiting for the babies. We've been expecting one human and three horse babies within a 30 day window. So far, we've got two. Drake Ryder was born just over an hour ago (he's the human baby). That little sucker weighed in at 9 pounds 12 oz. Yes, he's a giant. As Drake's sister just said, "Better return all those newborn clothes!" The horse baby, Arthur, born last week, came with less fanfare - he just appeared when Dee was making her morning stable rounds. I guess the stork dropped him from heaven. Two more horse babies are being expected.
In the midst of all the babies, babies, babies, we attended the Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show, or THE BIG HORSE DEAL as I call it. We took Drake's mom and her friend and watched Arabian horses prance around with their tails in the air and their nostrils flaring. Fortunately, we had a shady spot to sit. I've learned over the years, it doesn't matter about the temp - if you sit in the desert sun, it's freaking hot. There were also four family boys rolling around, eating ice cream, climbing, running, etc. You know, being little boys. The family ranged from the 4 year old to the 87 year old at the horse show. What would have completed the family circus atmosphere would have been adding the pregnant daughter-in-law - the one who dominoed TODAY. Saner heads prevailed, and she stayed home resting.
Drake's sister is raising Arabians; she is at this two week show constantly since she is having her horses shown in these competitions. Plus The Big Horse Deal is a way to advertise their business. It's very lucrative to sell hay (www.wesellhay.com) to finicky show horses. The Big Deal Horse Show is a great place to advertise that fact and a way to get to know the horsy people. Horses are Drake's sister's dream as long as I've known her - which is more than 40 years. She works hard promoting the business, but she loves her horses too.
Oh, and did I mention that Drake's mother is now in a memoir writing class? It meets once a week, and I volunteered to help get her started each week with her next memory. So.....Merilyn is getting her writing done, but it's not helping me get mine done. I am learning what a really interesting life she's had. I think I'll ask her to guest blog her favorite memoir when she gets a few more done. Hey, that's a way to meet my writing deadline; have someone else do it.
And then there's my health. I came back from Texas at New Year's Eve with an intestinal bug. I've been to the doctors who've done all the tests, and the consensus is I picked up an intestinal buy, and it will eventually go away. It's getting better, but especially in January, I was really tired by constant diarrhea. I wouldn't recommend this as a dieting strategy, but I've lost 12 pounds. It hasn't done a thing for my writing schedule.
I guess I need the proverbial desert island. Probably wouldn't work. I'd just make instant friends with whoever else was stranded and be chatting away in no time. Would I actually want to be without all the demands on my time? Boy, talk about having trouble finding a writing subject. Even I don't think my naval is interesting enough to write about. Sometimes, though, it would be nice to write uninterrupted and under no time pressure. OK. OK. OK - Drake is now talking to me about Pagosa Springs. Back to trip planning, and I've managed to write an entry about absolutely nothing. I feel like Jerry Seinfeld.
Right now...I'm trying to write, and Drake is talking to me about the Newfoundland reservation. He's oblivious to what I'm doing. The upcoming trip has consumed us both. We sit together with dueling computers. Toronto? Try finding a place that's not a high rise with an underground garage. We learned in New Haven that the trailer has to have air, lots of air above it. Major screw-up today - we discovered the ferry from Nova Scotia to St. John's, Newfoundland doesn't start running until one week AFTER we are booked to arrive. Now, we are trying to flip our reservations from one side of the island to the other since the ferry on the opposite side runs all year long. (We could go and come from that side, but it's a 561 mile drive added in if we can't flip the house reservations. We are going to have to endure the French Canadians for an extra five days because it's cheaper to stay in Gatineau than Ottawa. Drake unearthed the Berlitz book of French which I bought in 1980 before I went to Europe. I'll need it. Gatineau is in the Quebec Province (official language FRENCH), and Ottawa is in Ontario (HELLO, ENGLISH). They are separated only by a river. We have managed to hammer out a trip timetable that starts May 5th and end October 23rd.
Then, there's exercise. I know I need to exercise. I have to exercise. I hate to exercise. It's sort of like a conjugation. Today, I finally felt so guilty I proposed a bike ride. You can not write while riding a real bicycle. We took a three hour bike ride. Don't be impressed, Sun City is FLAT. If you can't ride a bike here, you can't ride a bike anywhere. My carrot for the exercise is we rode to various garage sales. I didn't find anything in the jackpot category, but I managed several small treasures. Garage saling is big pleasure for me, so the three hours flew by. We also managed to work our way over to the new ice cream store. Yum. (I had maple walnut.)
Let's don't forget the family obligations. Our Arizona relations are always extremely busy. They are really like a rolling circus when there are family events. We've all been waiting for the babies. We've been expecting one human and three horse babies within a 30 day window. So far, we've got two. Drake Ryder was born just over an hour ago (he's the human baby). That little sucker weighed in at 9 pounds 12 oz. Yes, he's a giant. As Drake's sister just said, "Better return all those newborn clothes!" The horse baby, Arthur, born last week, came with less fanfare - he just appeared when Dee was making her morning stable rounds. I guess the stork dropped him from heaven. Two more horse babies are being expected.
In the midst of all the babies, babies, babies, we attended the Scottsdale Arabian Horse Show, or THE BIG HORSE DEAL as I call it. We took Drake's mom and her friend and watched Arabian horses prance around with their tails in the air and their nostrils flaring. Fortunately, we had a shady spot to sit. I've learned over the years, it doesn't matter about the temp - if you sit in the desert sun, it's freaking hot. There were also four family boys rolling around, eating ice cream, climbing, running, etc. You know, being little boys. The family ranged from the 4 year old to the 87 year old at the horse show. What would have completed the family circus atmosphere would have been adding the pregnant daughter-in-law - the one who dominoed TODAY. Saner heads prevailed, and she stayed home resting.
Drake's sister is raising Arabians; she is at this two week show constantly since she is having her horses shown in these competitions. Plus The Big Horse Deal is a way to advertise their business. It's very lucrative to sell hay (www.wesellhay.com) to finicky show horses. The Big Deal Horse Show is a great place to advertise that fact and a way to get to know the horsy people. Horses are Drake's sister's dream as long as I've known her - which is more than 40 years. She works hard promoting the business, but she loves her horses too.
Oh, and did I mention that Drake's mother is now in a memoir writing class? It meets once a week, and I volunteered to help get her started each week with her next memory. So.....Merilyn is getting her writing done, but it's not helping me get mine done. I am learning what a really interesting life she's had. I think I'll ask her to guest blog her favorite memoir when she gets a few more done. Hey, that's a way to meet my writing deadline; have someone else do it.
And then there's my health. I came back from Texas at New Year's Eve with an intestinal bug. I've been to the doctors who've done all the tests, and the consensus is I picked up an intestinal buy, and it will eventually go away. It's getting better, but especially in January, I was really tired by constant diarrhea. I wouldn't recommend this as a dieting strategy, but I've lost 12 pounds. It hasn't done a thing for my writing schedule.
I guess I need the proverbial desert island. Probably wouldn't work. I'd just make instant friends with whoever else was stranded and be chatting away in no time. Would I actually want to be without all the demands on my time? Boy, talk about having trouble finding a writing subject. Even I don't think my naval is interesting enough to write about. Sometimes, though, it would be nice to write uninterrupted and under no time pressure. OK. OK. OK - Drake is now talking to me about Pagosa Springs. Back to trip planning, and I've managed to write an entry about absolutely nothing. I feel like Jerry Seinfeld.
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