Are You a Millennial?

 I was just tickled pink to discover that I AM A MILLENNIAL.  (I guess I'm going to have to learn to spell the word since I am one.)  According to Moneywise, there are fourteen things on which Millennials are choosing NOT to spend their moola.  I was just curious, so I started reading the article and realized this was actually a test to see how young I really am.  About halfway thru I realized at age 72 I was scoring like a millennial.   Well, read on.....

(1)  WEDDINGS.  Prepandemic:  28K.  Post pandemic:  less than 19K  I think my $35 wedding clearly puts me into the millennial category.  My wedding included a handmade dress, a gold wedding ring, a wedding lunch, (OK, it was Dairy Queen, but it was still 'lunch.), the license, and the gratuity for the Justice of the Peace.  No guests.  No open bars.  No hot meals for 300 of our closest friends.  No fancy flowers.  No special centerpieces.  No invitations.  I did, however, have to write a shit load of thank you notes since I got a pile of wedding gifts.  [Here's how that worked.  My mother's closest friends pooled a list of every person my mother had ever given a wedding gift to and those women went on the bridal shower list.  Then, they went down the list and checked off 'who owed'.  The women who 'owed' would be sent invitations.  It was fascinating to watch!  I told them they could NOT invite more than 50 people.  When I went back to college, they just ignored me   The weekend I returned for the shower, I discovered there was not one shower, but two.  Those 1950s moms knew how to rake in the loot.]

(2)  Dairy Milk.  I lose out on this category.  I'm still drinking cow's milk minimum of once a day.  I've tried the 'plant milks', and my verdict is YUCK.  Not a millennial on dairy.

(3)  Diamonds.  Millennials don't like diamonds, so they don't buy them.  They like hand crafted jewelry using alternative stones.  Duh.  I've been doing this for the last forty+ years. I only wear hand made jewelry by top crafters.  (Some of my jewelry makers have been displayed at the SMITHSONIAN!)  I've never owned a diamond.  I don't like them.  I never plan on buying one.  Definitely a Millennial on diamonds.

(4)  Cable.  Millennials don't use cable tv; they stream.  Well, I dumped cable five years ago, so big checkmark on this one.  I'm a Millennial streaming Netflix; Hulu; Prime; MLB; Weather (2 channels), YouTube; YouTubeTV; Free Movies; Pluto; and by the by SHARING THE COST of the pay to stream channels.  

(5)  Wasteful Products:  Millennials don't use plastic straws, plastic silverware, single use plates, cups, napkins, or most importantly those damn plastic bags.  I haven't willingly used a plastic bag for the past TWENTY YEARS.  I'm constantly lobbying any store I see using them.  I routinely WRITE TO WALMART ASKING THEM TO PHASE OUT PLASTIC BAGS.  (fyi - The Walmart Superstore in the middle of Hudson Valley is plastic bag free, so it can be done.)  Tell restaurant servers NO STRAWS.  Take any extra napkins they bring you home.  I've used cloth napkins for thirty years.  And, I use napkin rings, so they get washed about once a week with the tablecloth (which I also use).  I look for paper packaging, and I buy my water in aluminum cans.  I'm currently washing and reusing three aluminum water bottles I scored.  If you want to refuse plastic when eating out casually, bring your own silverware.  It's not hard.  Next time you give a party, use real dishes, cutlery, and glasses.  Don't have enough?  Hit up the Salvation Army or Goodwill. I've been giving parties for the past twenty years using real stuff instead of paper/plastic.   I've been a Millennial in this category before millennial was recognized as a generational group.  TAKE THAT, HA!

(6)  Beer:  Millennials drink 'craft beer' preferably with tasting room where they can socialize.  No bud or miller for this group.  I can outsnob one better:  I drink CRAFT CIDER.  I've drunk locally made beer for over ten years.  Millennial, I think, don't you?

(7)  Houses:  Lots of controversy here.  Student debt?  Don't make as much money?  Priced out of the housing market?  I'm definitely a BOOMER in this category.  I've owned eight houses.  Thinking about #9.

(8)  Redundant Technology:  Millennials don't own a landline phone, a stereo, an alarm clock, an e-reader, a calculator, GPS devices, digital cameras, cook books, or paper maps....  You get the picture.  I'm mostly Millennial.  I do like my digital camera for museums, but take kid pix with the phone.  I like CD's because they sound better.  I tend to cook off index cards I've made from recipes I've found on-line.  BUT:  no landline, no alarm clock, no e-reader, no calculator, no GPS device, but Drake likes the paper maps.  (Sigh)  I'm 7/8th Millennial and 1/8 Boomer.

(9)  Doorbells:  Now this one is just bizarre.  Millennials find doorbells intrusive.  They don't use them.  They simply text 'here' when arriving at your house.  I'm a Boomer all the way here.  This just seems silly to me.  One rationalization:  keeps away nosy neighbors and scam artists going door to door.

(10)  Grooming Supplies:  This is where Millennials not only save money, but also buy based on environmental concerns:  No bar soap, no bubble bath soap, no disposable razors, no special shaving cream.  In addition, I've learned to reduce the amount of soap going down the drain by using aerated pump bottles filled 1/10th with dishwash soap and 9/10th water for handwashing.  No antibiotic soaps - redundant if you're using soap.  Definitely a Millennial.

(11)  Postcards and Souvenirs:  Millennials believe a heartfelt text accompanied by a special pic is better than a tacky postcard which is usually added to the landfill.  They are foregoing the hat/t-shirt/bag souvenir in favor of handmade, artisan purchases.  I'm squarely in the Millennial category.  My trip souvenirs are pieces of art or hand crafted jewelry or signed pottery.  My latest piece which is one of my NY souvenirs is a framed matted lithograph by a New York artist.  MTA (Metro Transit Authority, ie governing body of subways, buses, trains, ferries that serve NYC) asked several artists to each create an original painting (3' long by 18" wide) to fit in the advertising slots above the subway seats.  I got it for free from a person who was carrying it around.  She tried to give it to the library.  They didn't want it.  When she walked back by me as I was sitting on the stoop waiting for Cedric to come down, I asked if I could see it.  I loved it, and she gave it to me.  Now that's some NY Millennial action.

(12)  Department stores:  Millennials shop online.  They do not shop in box stores, particularly big box stores.  I've been shopping on line since Google came into existence.  I can't remember the last time I bought something at a 'mall'.  Additionally, Millennials like to re-use.  You'd think they'd invented buying used clothing/shoes.  Ha!  I've been dressing used and homemade for fifty years.  Definitely Millennial and even more so now that I've learned delivered groceries taste just as good as the ones self wrangled walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store.

(13)  Cleaning and Laundry Supplies:  Millennials have stopped using fabric softener and dryer sheets.  They generally look for 'green' cleaners, and feel vinegar is just as good as several individual cleaners.  I'm split here.  Still do dryer sheets, but I'm going to be investigating dryer balls as an alternative.  I've been into the green clean for a long time as part of reducing the chemicals being added inside my house.  I'd say 1/2 Millennial but moving in that direction.

(14)  Vacation:  Millennials want an authentic experience.  They don't do cruises - bad for the environment.  They want to steep themselves in local culture and cuisine.  Now,  I like authentic, but I also like not having to pack up and move hotel to hotel.  I did 'authentic' in Italy.  I did Alaska and the Caribbean by cruise.  I did ten years of authentic USA and Canadian travel.  I guess this is a 1/2 Millennial and 1/2 Boomer.

Toting up, I scored 9 Millennial; 2 Boomer; and 3 half and half.  I think I just reduced my age by 35 years.  Now, if I could miraculously wear high heels, and have my wrinkles disappear I'd be riding the gravy train with biscuit wheels.