The Great Pigeon War

When we drove up to the house, the Intrepid Pigeon Fighter tensed as a large, gray and iridescently marked pigeon flew right over the car and landed on the struts of the awning.  "This is going to be trouble", said Drake.  Sure enough........upon reconnaissance of the perimeter of the house, by the IPF (aka "Drake") there was a NEST with a sitting pigeon tucked back inside one eave.  "This is WAR, declared Drake.  

The first attack wave required specialized equipment. With his safety goggles, dust mask, wearing leather gloves and with a six foot aluminum ladder tucked under his arm, the Intrepid Pigeon Fighter grimly prepared to attack the nest.  The initial mission was to scare off the nesting pigeons.  With that mission accomplished, it was a nasty job to pull the nest out from the inside of the eaves.  Fortunately, there were no baby pigeon casualties, so the IPF was not guilty of war crimes.  However, there was an acceptable casualty rate of at least one pigeon egg being destroyed.  The second phase of the initial attack then commenced:  The placing of the metal web fencing to close off the nesting area, so the evil rat birds would not just move back in and recreate the nest.  With the second mission accomplished, the IPF retired from the field to formulate his next move.  

The second attack required extensive information gathering before the IPF could formulate his attack plan.   He discovered it's very, very difficult to dislodge a determined flock of pigeons once they have chosen a roosting and nesting place.  Feral urban pigeons are a cross-breed of escaped domestic pigeons and wild wood pigeons.  The original wood pigeons (so stupidly named) chose notches in sea cliffs as their preferred nesting sites.  Eaves and building ledges have become the substitute sea cliffs for the feral urban pigeons, AKA "The Enemy".  

The Intrepid Pigeon Fighter selected his first weapon choosing to use the aluminum foil feint in his two prong attack plan.  Shiny aluminum foil is supposed to repel the Enemy.  It is purported by pigeon war experts that the birds are supposed to be afraid of the glint of shiny aluminum foil and will not land on it.  The IPF thus wrapped the top of the porch light, and all the awning struts with shiny aluminum foil while exclaiming, "HAH, take that you miserable birds!"  

It took a trip to the weapons dump to secure the weapon needed for the second prong of the attack:  The weapon?  Poultry Wire, which we Okies call "Chicken Wire".  Mastering this weapon resulted in the IPF being wounded, and being awarded the prestigious Purple Egg medal of valor.  It took some extensive application of liquid bandage before the IPF was ready to deploy the weapon.  With grim determination, the Intrepid Pigeon Fighter fashioned wire coverings for all the holes in the eaves, paying particular attention to any possible holes that could be roosting sites of the filthy enemy.  

At the conclusion of the second attack, the war has entered the wait and see phase..............as the IPF contemplates solar powered motion decoy owls, poison, and perhaps renting a falcon, the atomic bomb to the pigeon world.  The  Intrepid Pigeon Fighter has declared that he will not falter until TOTAL VICTORY IS ACHIEVED in The Great Pigeon War.  Watch for the next dispatch from this fearless reporter chronicling each successive battle in this ongoing war.