Pretty soon I'll just be a normal Brooklynite. I'm already calculating whether to wait for transit or just say, "Forget about it - I'm walking!". Today I walked 1.8 miles, climbed seven flights of stairs and rode on three different subway lines to get from my house to Lincoln Center.
It's really hot and humid here. After all it's a wet heat. That's opposed to the 'dry heat' of the desert. I had to laugh. Today, the temp was 81 at 7pm. A balmy evening in Arizona. However, in Brooklyn the wet heat factor kicked in, and the 'real feel' temp was 86 with about 70% humidity - certainly edging out of balmy. For those of you who don't know, 'dry heat' refers to the real feel of the temperature in the desert. With 10% (or less) humidity a temperature of 108 has a 'real feel' of 100.
I'm still sweating buckets here. And believe me, after so much time in dryer air, I don't 'glow'; I sweat. The highest summer heat hasn't even arrived yet! Forget makeup. One of my smartest buys was the dozen paper fans I bought from Oriental Trading Company. It's really helpful all the buses and subway cars are heavily air conditioned. It's just walking to them or waiting for them that's so hot. I was in a subway car yesterday so frigid it was deja vu - back to a Houston shopping mall. The sanctuary of the church I'm attending is NOT air conditioned. In 1890, that technology didn't exist. With the interior space of the sanctuary domed, I'm not even sure how you could retro fit it. So, church is starting a hour earlier tomorrow to compensate for the summer heat.
I still talk to too many people. The neighborhood is just full of people I want to get to know. I was chitchatting with our concierge weekend relief person, and it turns out her young son is in the Air Force. He's stationed at Corpus Christi. Being a New Yorker, he doesn't have a driver's license. He was complaining to his mother that he was the only person walking on the streets. We both agreed he's going to have to cave and get not only a license but also a car.
There's also a guy who wears a different hat every time I see him. He parks a vintage black Cadillac on our block, and whenever I see him, he's always standing beside it. First, we inclined heads. Now, we're speaking. I'm just hoping he's not the neighborhood drug dealer. He's always sort of hanging around. However, I've never seen him doing any 'business', so I'm probably just being paranoid. More likely, he's an Uber driver. Uber drivers are like bees that swarm around the streets. Mostly, they drive black SUV's.
Today, I also saw our neighborhood homeless person. He's a tall skinny guy with a beard halfway down his chest who is creating his own home in a 'nook' next to a building. Last week he found a wooden kitchen chair painted turquoise in the trash. Yesterday, when I went over to the grocery store (with my rolling cart), I noticed he had found a rectangular shaped sofa which he turned on its side bottom facing out, cushions facing in. It's kind of a fenced off pod room. Sadly, today he had a skillet and was beating on an cast iron fence as he walked down the street. I'm guessing he's one of the mentally ill who's supposed to 'self medicate'. What a sick joke.
We also watched the Macy's Fireworks show live. No, I didn't go down to the Brooklyn Bridge Park with the crowds. We just went to our rooftop. There were fireworks in every direction - mostly illegal ones, but we got to see enough of the Macy's show that I was completely satisfied. There were about a dozen people on the roof, and everybody agreed this beat fighting the massive crowds on the East River waterfront.
If you're into fireworks, well, here are my pictures.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/8nqugPZ3YWBGZYpA7
Walking down the sidewalks here is always a treat. Today, I actually saw an Indian couple who were close to our age. Mostly, there are young families, couples, and young singles. We sort of stick out anywhere we go in the neighborhood. I also saw a woman in a full burka walk by a woman in skin tight shorts with black spiked Mohawk hair and tattoo sleeves on both arms. What a contrast! If you just listen, you can hear several languages in a three block walk.
This week we hopped on a bus and went to a true Salvation Army Store. It was in a warehouse (no a/c & hotter than blazes), but I was able to buy some extra glasses and a couple of coffee mugs without having to take out a loan. Compared to my Sun City thrift stores, this place was really meager. I was fortunate, they had everything I wanted.
It's actually more fun to troll the stoops on trash day as you walk by, but there's no telling what you'll find. Sarah found a tambourine for Cedric, and this week I found a Lonely Planet Guide for Budapest. Who knows, maybe we'll catch a flight and head over one of these days. We'll just jump on the B65 bus, get off in about 3 stops at Nostrand, walk one block to the Eastbound LIRR (Long Island Rail Road) and exit Jamaica to catch the air train to JFK airport - a piece of cake.
Saturday, July 6, 2019
Saturday, June 29, 2019
Back to Work
Let me tell you, it feels weird to be back at work after being retired for more than ten years. Drake and I talked about this prior to starting the 'grandson' project, but I don't think either one of us remembered clearly the utter relentlessness of getting up and going to work each day. The last time we made this adjustment we were 21 years old, and it was a hell of a lot easier then.
Neither one of us realized how much energy we've lost by frittering our time away each day just doing what we felt like doing. Now that we have a full time job, it doesn't matter if pain keeps me awake for hours at night, the alarm still goes off at 6:30 am. Prior to the 'project', I would just sleep in. So, it's tiring, but really rewarding. I had the experience of raising an infant while Drake dutifully and truthfully, joyfully, headed off to his office each day. His head was in the 'helper' mode, not the 'caretaker' mode, and that was a big step forward from his Dad's generation who were in the pat the kid's head mode, and say, "Go ask your mother." when any child care issues arose.
This is not to say Drake doesn't have the same energy and relentlessness issues I have, but he's also struggling to get up to speed on infant nurturing. He's doing some limited reading, but mainly, he takes his cues from me because he's never cared for a small child on a daily basis. He thinks he's not good at it, so he keeps rejecting the obvious: Grandson adores him, and panics if Drake suddenly walks out of the room. Drake brings the male dynamic that infants in the past have not had the benefit. I've said all along our son-in-law's extended childcare leave (six months) benefited both him and the child. Grandson expects 'care' equally from both of us thanks to the full time care taking by each of his parents. They were both so very lucky to have extended family leave time.
As usual with any project we've ever undertaken, we've each carved out 'areas' of responsibility, and no, mine aren't all the dirty diapers. We are both completely committed to not just offering physical care, that can be bought and easily learned, but rather tailoring enrichment and activities which bulls eye Grandson's individual development. Additionally, we are trying to keep up with a second household's 'chores', so our kiddos can spend every possible minute with their new child. They both love their work, but they can hardly wait to get home. Each day is a 'race' to see which of the two will get home first since who arrives first gets the baby first.
Right now, the baby is all about absorbing as much language as he can hear. He soaks it up like the proverbial sponge, cuing in on the words, your eyes, your lips, your tone and body language. I can already tell he's 'sensing' the meanings of some words especially when he hears them in the context he expects. He's parroting his version of talking and trying hard to communicate his needs. He's also working on crawling which has been super frustrating for him. This boy is BIG. At eight months he already weighs as much (if not more) than our daughter did at one year. He's built like a concrete block with huge hands and feet. It's so hard for him to coordinate all that mass. No wonder gymnasts tend to be small, compact people. He's getting there, and we are encouraging him to try and try again. Oh, and he's also teething.
This adventure is going to be a race: Can we physically take care of this huge baby? Drake has to do most of the 'lifting' because neither of us want my back issues to become acute. Will we run out of stamina? Can we sustain not only child care, but laundry, housework, household management issues, and minor repairs? Will we feel a growing sense of isolation in a community dedicated to the raising of young children. It's always strange when on our half year adventures we go from being the 'youngest' in Sun City to being the 'oldest' at the new location. Now we live in a place where we are definitely the oldest by far. Additionally, we live in an area where we are significantly in the minority. Crown Heights (our Brooklyn neighborhood) is half black and half Hasidic Jewish. We live in the black portion of the neighborhood. We take the bus to and from 'work', and I casually noticed one day last week we were the only pale colored people on the bus.
On the smooth side, I'm getting into this delivery lifestyle. I have my breakfast foods delivered to my workplace each Monday, and my house groceries delivered to the apartment each Saturday. It's so much easier to do the big majority of all my shopping online. Competing in the crowds is always going to be an issue here after life in the West. Brooklyn has 2.649 million people in a 67 mile area. Phoenix has 1.6 million people in a 517 mile area. That pretty much says it all. It's easier to get places in Brooklyn and the other boroughs (especially Queens and Manhattan), but harder to get services. We honestly don't really miss having a car, and I think the added walking has improved my overall health.
Neither one of us realized how much energy we've lost by frittering our time away each day just doing what we felt like doing. Now that we have a full time job, it doesn't matter if pain keeps me awake for hours at night, the alarm still goes off at 6:30 am. Prior to the 'project', I would just sleep in. So, it's tiring, but really rewarding. I had the experience of raising an infant while Drake dutifully and truthfully, joyfully, headed off to his office each day. His head was in the 'helper' mode, not the 'caretaker' mode, and that was a big step forward from his Dad's generation who were in the pat the kid's head mode, and say, "Go ask your mother." when any child care issues arose.
This is not to say Drake doesn't have the same energy and relentlessness issues I have, but he's also struggling to get up to speed on infant nurturing. He's doing some limited reading, but mainly, he takes his cues from me because he's never cared for a small child on a daily basis. He thinks he's not good at it, so he keeps rejecting the obvious: Grandson adores him, and panics if Drake suddenly walks out of the room. Drake brings the male dynamic that infants in the past have not had the benefit. I've said all along our son-in-law's extended childcare leave (six months) benefited both him and the child. Grandson expects 'care' equally from both of us thanks to the full time care taking by each of his parents. They were both so very lucky to have extended family leave time.
As usual with any project we've ever undertaken, we've each carved out 'areas' of responsibility, and no, mine aren't all the dirty diapers. We are both completely committed to not just offering physical care, that can be bought and easily learned, but rather tailoring enrichment and activities which bulls eye Grandson's individual development. Additionally, we are trying to keep up with a second household's 'chores', so our kiddos can spend every possible minute with their new child. They both love their work, but they can hardly wait to get home. Each day is a 'race' to see which of the two will get home first since who arrives first gets the baby first.
Right now, the baby is all about absorbing as much language as he can hear. He soaks it up like the proverbial sponge, cuing in on the words, your eyes, your lips, your tone and body language. I can already tell he's 'sensing' the meanings of some words especially when he hears them in the context he expects. He's parroting his version of talking and trying hard to communicate his needs. He's also working on crawling which has been super frustrating for him. This boy is BIG. At eight months he already weighs as much (if not more) than our daughter did at one year. He's built like a concrete block with huge hands and feet. It's so hard for him to coordinate all that mass. No wonder gymnasts tend to be small, compact people. He's getting there, and we are encouraging him to try and try again. Oh, and he's also teething.
Then, we have the family issue. None of us have ever lived so closely to family. Drake and I 'lived away' from our parents, and so did our son-in-law's parents. Our kiddos aren't quite sure how to handle their parents living one mile from their house. Of course, one of our big incentives for doing this was to be able to actually spend some more time with them, but they just want us 'gone' when they get home in the evening. It's not really a problem, but I can see this is going to be one more thing which is a change in a year of changes.
This adventure is going to be a race: Can we physically take care of this huge baby? Drake has to do most of the 'lifting' because neither of us want my back issues to become acute. Will we run out of stamina? Can we sustain not only child care, but laundry, housework, household management issues, and minor repairs? Will we feel a growing sense of isolation in a community dedicated to the raising of young children. It's always strange when on our half year adventures we go from being the 'youngest' in Sun City to being the 'oldest' at the new location. Now we live in a place where we are definitely the oldest by far. Additionally, we live in an area where we are significantly in the minority. Crown Heights (our Brooklyn neighborhood) is half black and half Hasidic Jewish. We live in the black portion of the neighborhood. We take the bus to and from 'work', and I casually noticed one day last week we were the only pale colored people on the bus.
I am fighting back. First, I've learned in NYC while it's not OK to talk to random people, it's OK to talk to people in your neighborhood. I getting to know the bus drivers, and now one smiles at me whenever I get on our bus. I'm also recognizing people who ride the bus with us every day. To combat my own personal loneliness, I've found a church. It is a Methodist church founded in 1846 housed in a Romanesque building completed in 1891. (Romanesque architecture was a big 'thing' in the last 20 years of the 19th century in New York, and nowadays, communities are trying to preserve these examples.) It is unusual in that instead of a gable (triangular) inside, it's domed with large, simple stained glass windows. It's really beautiful, but the pews tend to get a bit uncomfortable after two hours - that's the typical length of the service.
This church is known for its music program, and they have a magnificent organ and a professional drum set which is used with every piece of music. The choir doesn't just sing one carefully prepared anthem, but usually several. The spirit can start moving through the congregation and the anthems can take on lives of their own. Also, the call to worship is very joyful and can last several minutes. The preacher tries to stay within a 15 to 20 minute prepared sermon, but again, that doesn't always happen.
Everyone is very welcoming but still a bit taken aback I'm there and keep coming back. (It's that white/black thing again.) I've been handing out origami animals to the young children surreptitiously during the service and that seems to be a big hit. A new preacher arrives next week, so the church is in emotional upheaval - their current pastor has been there seven years which is an eternity in the Methodist system. Methodists don't believe in the 'cult of personality' like the Baptists do. The Methodist system has Bishops who move preachers around districts like bingo balls. I'm pleased the new preacher is a woman.
Anyway, this church has the added attraction of being on the bus line, and it's only four stops away. The next closest church is 'Spanish', and mine just isn't that good. There's just a really good vibe to this church which has made me want to return each week. Making friends is going to be hard. I'm just going to bide my time until they get used to me. I'm also going to pick up my bona fides in January in Arizona. (Those would be my United Methodist Women mission pin and my Emmaus cross.) This congregation works hard at delivering what the community needs, and I'm sure I can find a way to contribute.
On the smooth side, I'm getting into this delivery lifestyle. I have my breakfast foods delivered to my workplace each Monday, and my house groceries delivered to the apartment each Saturday. It's so much easier to do the big majority of all my shopping online. Competing in the crowds is always going to be an issue here after life in the West. Brooklyn has 2.649 million people in a 67 mile area. Phoenix has 1.6 million people in a 517 mile area. That pretty much says it all. It's easier to get places in Brooklyn and the other boroughs (especially Queens and Manhattan), but harder to get services. We honestly don't really miss having a car, and I think the added walking has improved my overall health.
This is just the first installment of this 'theme' which I will revisit from time to time over the next year. However, now, I have to go get ready for the American Ballet Theater performance of "Swan Lake" starring the best damn ballerina I've seen in 40 years. There are some big compensations to going back to work.
P.S. - No idea what I did to screw up the format, but next post will be better.
P.S. - No idea what I did to screw up the format, but next post will be better.
Wednesday, June 5, 2019
Met Member
This week I checked off one of my heart's desires. Don't get too excited - this is a small one: I joined the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. It is thrilling to be a member of one of the premier museums in America. I've always wanted to join, but what was the point unless you could 'attend' the special exhibitions.
I've been to the Met so often over the past eight years I know all the 'regular' stuff. For me, the real treats are the exhibitions. Not only is the 'stuff' great, but I always learn something. The visit this past week was no different - well, other than I'm a MEMBER!!!! Did I mention that?
OK, so first, there was 'Play It Loud!'. This exhibition contained instruments of famous rock and roll artists from about 1955 to the present. Here was my favorite part of the exhibit
If you're looking for something more modern, well how about this piano:
There are tons of famous instruments belonging to a myriad of famous names. If this is your thing, well check out the pix.
The one thing that really came across to me was even in the 16th century it was damn hard to make a living if you were an artist. This exhibit was fascinating in that it made me look at objects from a whole different P.O.V. As always, there are pictures.
https://photos.app.goo.gl/qW39LEVsxP4SxMLn9
More fun pix:
I've been to the Met so often over the past eight years I know all the 'regular' stuff. For me, the real treats are the exhibitions. Not only is the 'stuff' great, but I always learn something. The visit this past week was no different - well, other than I'm a MEMBER!!!! Did I mention that?
OK, so first, there was 'Play It Loud!'. This exhibition contained instruments of famous rock and roll artists from about 1955 to the present. Here was my favorite part of the exhibit
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| (I'm not crazy - I'm looking for a spotlight, so my face will be lighted, and, of course, that's when Drake snapped the picture) The instruments are self-explanatory. |
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| Lady Gaga's piano - she played "ArtPop" on it when she guested on the Tonight Show |
Next, here's a quirky one. It was billed as "What did Art Cost during the Renaissance in Northern Europe". The 'unit of currency' is one cow. One milk cow during this era was worth one month's salary of a skilled worker, or two month's salary of an unskilled worker, and that price remained very stable. The exhibition consisted of pieces made in Northern Europe during the Renaissance era. There were sculptures, paintings, jewelry, pottery, tapestries, etc., and each piece was valued according to how many cows each piece was worth. Here's the premise:
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| Tankard, gilded silver with rock crystal and precious gems - worth 158 cows |
The one thing that really came across to me was even in the 16th century it was damn hard to make a living if you were an artist. This exhibit was fascinating in that it made me look at objects from a whole different P.O.V. As always, there are pictures.
Here's the exhibit which taught me something I didn't know. It's called "The Tale of Genji". This is a 52 chapter book written in Japan in the 11th century by an aristocratic Japanese woman. The equivalency in importance to Japanese culture and literary heritage is as Shakespeare is to Western culture. I'd never even heard of it! People have been talking about it, thinking about it, writing about it, and representing it in art for one thousand years. The government of Japan sent things to this exhibition which are considered national treasures and have never before left the Japanese mainland. It blew my sox off, I can tell you. Here's the 'title page' of the exhibition:
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| That's a representation of the woman who wrote the book and me - looking happy |
Finally, the last new exhibition is called "Camp". This was the theme this year of the most famous party in New York City: The Met Gala. The exhibition paralleled the 'gala'. Mostly, it's about a definition of what is 'camp', when it originated, and how it's been taken over by the fashion world. There were lots of examples of the extremes of runway haute couture fashion. It started with Oscar Wilde and displayed pictures, and caricatures of him as well as some original manuscripts - like his only novel The Picture of Dorian Gray. "Camp" was definitely his thing. The over the top fashions are the true stars though. And, there's a Caravaggio exhibited which, in Drake's opinion, was the only thing worth seeing in the exhibition. Well, he was totally wrong. This was outrageous fun. And, just for my new mom daughter, here's what all new moms wear during routine baby care..... at least the 'camp' ones.
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That's the 'new stuff' at the Met. Did I mention I'm a MEMBER?
Sunday, May 26, 2019
Starting the Big Adventure
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| View from our Brooklyn apartment |
The move in was not without its moments. Only in New York would the movers show up on the bus with their crated dog in tow. They managed to borrow a dolly from the auto detailers across the street, and the rolling luggage cart from the concierge in exchange for leaving the dog in the building lobby. They cheerfully got all the furniture and goods out of the U-Box crates and up to our apartment quickly. The U-Boxes were gone the same day they were dropped off in front of the apartment.
Our apartment turns out to be light, airy, quiet, (minimal street noise), with views of lush green trees. No one lives above us, and the back of our apartment faces an elementary school. The 'noise' is of children playing at recess during the day. And, I've spotted four different kinds of birds including a cardinal pair flitting through the trees. We catch the bus 200 feet from our door, and it takes us to within a block of our new workplace. It seems weird to be talking about work after being retired for twelve years.
So, the real adventure is not the place we've moved, but the fact we've got a JOB. We are the nannies for our new grandson. Thank heavens this is a job share. All the grandparents in our family are committed to getting the new kid off to a good start. Finding quality childcare, especially for very young children, is a constant worry for parents no matter where they live. There's the cost which is actually secondary to the reliability, and finally the flexibility of child care. We decided to offer our services. We're not cheap, but we are certainly reliable, and we don't charge by the minute after 5:30 pm.
With seven out of ten women with children in the work place, what we are doing is not as unusual as you would think. We met someone in the building's gym whose parents have been doing this same thing for not only his children but also his brother's children. Families who live in the same town have always pitched in to help with the children. The new twist is grandparents are moving to a new location to help out. It's an old tradition. The cliche, 'it takes a village' is actually still the truth even in the 21st century and especially in the United States. It's been an uphill battle to get parental leave in the USA which is standard in the rest of the developed world. Our son-in-law had seven months leave to be with his new baby. What company does he work for? A Swedish one. We are being handed off a seven month old instead of a two month old newborn.
If we have any energy left, we are looking forward to new restaurants, Broadway shows, the American Ballet Theater, and my favorite pastime: New York museums - especially the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's taken us a week to get settled in. As of today, everything is unpacked and there are curtains at every window. I bought all my curtains in Arizona. I just had to hem them, and Drake had to figure out how to get them hung. We have nine foot ceilings and no ladder. I'm just about ready to have some fun before we start work. June 16th is our start date.
I've already found something in I absolutely LOVE in Brooklyn. I'm having all my groceries delivered, and it's FREE. In fact, I'm pretty much having everything delivered. This building has an elevator, and it also has a concierge. He accepts deliveries all day long. There's also a recreation room with pool table, ping pong table, and foos ball. There's a movie room and a large gym with sauna, and a laundry room. We have a designated 'place' with a drain inside the apartment for a stack washer/dryer, but if you buy one, you have to pay an additional $100 each month for the increased water usage. We turned that w/d space into a pantry, so we'll be using the building's laundry facilities.
The kitchen has nice appliances, but the storage in the kitchen can charitably be called minuscule. I have no idea how you'd be able to store food as well as dishes and pots and pans. However, there's granite, a nice big stainless sink, and a good work area.
Other than the kitchen, the storage in the apartment is good. The water pressure is good, and we like the shower. All the furniture I brought with me 'fits', so we are both pleased with our sight unseen apartment choice. Oh, and it's air conditioned. I learned my lesson several years ago after spending the summer in an apartment in New Haven, Connecticut which didn't have air conditioning.
Tomorrow, we are harking back to our Texas roots and having a family taco day to kick off summer. I wonder if Cedric wants onions on his......
Friday, May 3, 2019
Big Women
A few days ago I ran across a magazine article in "O", the Oprah Winfrey magazine, which fascinated me from beginning to end. The topic was the evolution of clothing for big women. So, if you're one of my guy readers who find clothing/shopping discussions right up there with bamboo slivers under the fingernails, well, stop right here and click off. However, if you have a 'big woman' in your life, you might scroll down to the websites which sell clothing and accessories which will fit your lady.
In my youth I was one of those pencil shaped people, and I just walked into any level of store and bought whatever the budget could sustain. I never gave clothes shopping much attention. As my friend pool expanded, and I made close, close friends with women who were so NOT pencil shaped, I began to understand not everyone could just walk into a department store and start trying on as many things as they could stand to put on and take off. And, even worse, my big friends were body shamed by the clerks who were supposedly helping them find clothing.
It wasn't until my 50's that my body significantly changed from pencil shaped to plus sized. The combination of menopause, stopping smoking, and my foot problems caused me to gain weight. Now, I had to face first hand not being able to shop on the 'regular' racks. It took me about five years to recover enough physically to realize I would never accept dieting, and I would have to learn to exercise much more faithfully than I have ever wanted. It also took me years to accept my new body type. And, I was an adult!
When I was teaching fifteen year olds, I was constantly amazed by the body pride of big black girls. It didn't matter that they weighed 200 pounds. They accentuated their curves with tight tops, low cut jeans, and always had their hair, makeup and nails flawlessly done. Was it teenage over the top fashion? Absolutely. However, they acted like they thought they were beautiful, and the boys whose attention they wanted acted so too. In the same hallways were big white girls in over sized t-shirts, slouching along with their head down acting like they were the ugliest things in the world. Guess which ones I admired? I even tried to pair these two types of girls together in class projects hoping for some kind of friendship to arise. Occasionally, it did. And, man oh man, could you see the difference in how those white girls started to dress and carry themselves.
Since I'd seen first hand how clothes can change a big girl's perception of herself, this article I read further opened my eyes. Here are some of the quotes from the article which stood out to me:
"Fashion industry gospel: Women of a certain size didn't spend money on clothes. They don't want clingy, or to show their arms, legs or cleavage."
"I've never been small. As a teenager I wanted to be wearing polo shirts, and crop tops, but they didn't sell them in 'plus size' stores."
"Naysayers argue that plus-size style promotes obesity, as if poly-blend muumuus is a hair shirt a woman must wear until she drops some pounds."
If you aren't outraged by that last statement, you should be. Think of your friends. Don't you have at least one who is built on the Eastern European, Russian, Germanic, or certain African tribal body type? The term 'big boned' isn't just a euphemistic phrase for fat. These women literally have large bones, and large muscles covering them. Not too long ago, these were considered the 'beautiful women' because they could work tirelessly and drop babies effortlessly. Nowadays, they are ostracized and shamed. Women with this body type can starve themselves and they will never, ever reach the fashion ideal of size 2,4,6 or 8. The fashion industry punishes them by not producing desirable clothing.
Christian Siriano, a designer on the Time 100 list, has dressed A-listers for all types of red carpet events. (This guy got his start on Project Runway.) The red carpet is like the Superbowl for fashion designers since these outfits are shown nationally and critiqued endlessly. When Leslie Jones ("Ghostbusters" actor) couldn't find anything to wear for the red carpet premiere, Siriano stepped in. Now, he's producing a ready to wear line in sizes 0 - 28. Sirano is mirroring the new trend in the industry. He says, "Beauty comes in all different forms. We need to celebrate it." Every other aspect of the garment industry is flat EXCEPT for garments that are size 14 and up.
I also learned one reason the garment industry has been so slow to adapt to production of ready to wear clothing in plus sizes. You have to cut an entirely different pattern for clothing larger than size 14. You need bigger bustlines, longer crotchlines and bigger hips since larger women are "wider and deeper, but their arms and legs are the same size". Skills like this aren't routinely taught in design schools. Re-patterning costs money.
Another fascinating nugget was how Lane Bryant, the queen of plus sizes, got started. First, she was a real woman. (Lena Himmelstein Bryant). She was a Lithuanian immigrant who was a seamstress in New York City. In the early 1900's, a pregnant customer asked her for a dress she could wear outside her home. Bryant wasn't a designer, but she could instantly sniff out a market. Initially, department stores refused to buy her designs: These clothes were indecent. She turned to catalog sales and the rest is history. She was also the first entrepreneur to make clothes in the 1950's for 'chubby' teen girls. It wasn't until the 1920's that there was mass produced 'stout wear' from the rest of the garment industry. It was relegated to 'special sections', just like it still is today. The 'special section' creates a stigma of its own.
Even with proven sales, and data on this growing market, "lots of companies are waiting for critical mass. They are looking at their competitors and thinking, 'You guys go first'." Even with the hesitancy of the core of the industry, big women are getting more choices than ever before. From teens, new to fashion, to professional women, to post age 50 women, thanks to the internet, there are more clothes available than ever before.
A huge plus to this article was naming the designers producing ready to wear clothing which you can peruse on-line showing it modeled by big women instead of pencil sized women. Here is a small smattering of the websites you might want to check out.
Candice Huffine: Day/Won https://day-won.com/
https://www.all67.com/
This link shows the clothes on different sized models: https://www.goodamerican.com/
Megababe beauty concentrates on beauty products for big women.
https://megababebeauty.com/collections/all-products
Some of the other brands/websites you can look for are: CoEdition, Reformation, Roucha, Tadeshi Sjoji, NYDJ, JCPenney's, Franne Golde, Lafayette 148 New York, Talbots, Loft, Gwynnie Bee, Stitch Fix, Dia& Co, Violeta by Mango, ASOS Curve and Plus Size, Simply Be.
Work out clothes: Fabletics, Sela Fit, Beyond Yoga.
Big shoes: Long Tall Sally, Amazon Fashion, Lonia.
Shapewear: Ruby Ribbon, ThirdLove.
I've just given you a skim of this article. It was published in "O" in 2018. You can probably find it in its entirety online.
In my youth I was one of those pencil shaped people, and I just walked into any level of store and bought whatever the budget could sustain. I never gave clothes shopping much attention. As my friend pool expanded, and I made close, close friends with women who were so NOT pencil shaped, I began to understand not everyone could just walk into a department store and start trying on as many things as they could stand to put on and take off. And, even worse, my big friends were body shamed by the clerks who were supposedly helping them find clothing.
It wasn't until my 50's that my body significantly changed from pencil shaped to plus sized. The combination of menopause, stopping smoking, and my foot problems caused me to gain weight. Now, I had to face first hand not being able to shop on the 'regular' racks. It took me about five years to recover enough physically to realize I would never accept dieting, and I would have to learn to exercise much more faithfully than I have ever wanted. It also took me years to accept my new body type. And, I was an adult!
When I was teaching fifteen year olds, I was constantly amazed by the body pride of big black girls. It didn't matter that they weighed 200 pounds. They accentuated their curves with tight tops, low cut jeans, and always had their hair, makeup and nails flawlessly done. Was it teenage over the top fashion? Absolutely. However, they acted like they thought they were beautiful, and the boys whose attention they wanted acted so too. In the same hallways were big white girls in over sized t-shirts, slouching along with their head down acting like they were the ugliest things in the world. Guess which ones I admired? I even tried to pair these two types of girls together in class projects hoping for some kind of friendship to arise. Occasionally, it did. And, man oh man, could you see the difference in how those white girls started to dress and carry themselves.
Since I'd seen first hand how clothes can change a big girl's perception of herself, this article I read further opened my eyes. Here are some of the quotes from the article which stood out to me:
"Fashion industry gospel: Women of a certain size didn't spend money on clothes. They don't want clingy, or to show their arms, legs or cleavage."
"I've never been small. As a teenager I wanted to be wearing polo shirts, and crop tops, but they didn't sell them in 'plus size' stores."
"Naysayers argue that plus-size style promotes obesity, as if poly-blend muumuus is a hair shirt a woman must wear until she drops some pounds."
If you aren't outraged by that last statement, you should be. Think of your friends. Don't you have at least one who is built on the Eastern European, Russian, Germanic, or certain African tribal body type? The term 'big boned' isn't just a euphemistic phrase for fat. These women literally have large bones, and large muscles covering them. Not too long ago, these were considered the 'beautiful women' because they could work tirelessly and drop babies effortlessly. Nowadays, they are ostracized and shamed. Women with this body type can starve themselves and they will never, ever reach the fashion ideal of size 2,4,6 or 8. The fashion industry punishes them by not producing desirable clothing.
Christian Siriano, a designer on the Time 100 list, has dressed A-listers for all types of red carpet events. (This guy got his start on Project Runway.) The red carpet is like the Superbowl for fashion designers since these outfits are shown nationally and critiqued endlessly. When Leslie Jones ("Ghostbusters" actor) couldn't find anything to wear for the red carpet premiere, Siriano stepped in. Now, he's producing a ready to wear line in sizes 0 - 28. Sirano is mirroring the new trend in the industry. He says, "Beauty comes in all different forms. We need to celebrate it." Every other aspect of the garment industry is flat EXCEPT for garments that are size 14 and up.
I also learned one reason the garment industry has been so slow to adapt to production of ready to wear clothing in plus sizes. You have to cut an entirely different pattern for clothing larger than size 14. You need bigger bustlines, longer crotchlines and bigger hips since larger women are "wider and deeper, but their arms and legs are the same size". Skills like this aren't routinely taught in design schools. Re-patterning costs money.
Another fascinating nugget was how Lane Bryant, the queen of plus sizes, got started. First, she was a real woman. (Lena Himmelstein Bryant). She was a Lithuanian immigrant who was a seamstress in New York City. In the early 1900's, a pregnant customer asked her for a dress she could wear outside her home. Bryant wasn't a designer, but she could instantly sniff out a market. Initially, department stores refused to buy her designs: These clothes were indecent. She turned to catalog sales and the rest is history. She was also the first entrepreneur to make clothes in the 1950's for 'chubby' teen girls. It wasn't until the 1920's that there was mass produced 'stout wear' from the rest of the garment industry. It was relegated to 'special sections', just like it still is today. The 'special section' creates a stigma of its own.
Even with proven sales, and data on this growing market, "lots of companies are waiting for critical mass. They are looking at their competitors and thinking, 'You guys go first'." Even with the hesitancy of the core of the industry, big women are getting more choices than ever before. From teens, new to fashion, to professional women, to post age 50 women, thanks to the internet, there are more clothes available than ever before.
A huge plus to this article was naming the designers producing ready to wear clothing which you can peruse on-line showing it modeled by big women instead of pencil sized women. Here is a small smattering of the websites you might want to check out.
Candice Huffine: Day/Won https://day-won.com/
https://www.all67.com/
This link shows the clothes on different sized models: https://www.goodamerican.com/
Megababe beauty concentrates on beauty products for big women.
https://megababebeauty.com/collections/all-products
Some of the other brands/websites you can look for are: CoEdition, Reformation, Roucha, Tadeshi Sjoji, NYDJ, JCPenney's, Franne Golde, Lafayette 148 New York, Talbots, Loft, Gwynnie Bee, Stitch Fix, Dia& Co, Violeta by Mango, ASOS Curve and Plus Size, Simply Be.
Work out clothes: Fabletics, Sela Fit, Beyond Yoga.
Big shoes: Long Tall Sally, Amazon Fashion, Lonia.
Shapewear: Ruby Ribbon, ThirdLove.
I've just given you a skim of this article. It was published in "O" in 2018. You can probably find it in its entirety online.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Accumulation Redux
Ten years ago I handled everything Drake and I owned - well, except for some garage tools. We created three piles: store, take, or discard. It took about two years to downsize our Hurst household. I really thought I'd never have to do that again. Well..... Hold on there. This spring I've found myself doing exactly that AGAIN as we take off for a Brooklyn adventure. Take is what goes into the steel boxes to be freighted. Store is what is staying in the Sun City house, and discard is actually giveaway to various charitable organizations rather than in the garbage.
I think the most disheartening revelation about this whole redux process is, despite my best efforts, I seem to have re-accumulated. The only thing holding down the acquisitions is I have fewer square feet to work with. And, don't misunderstand, my 'best efforts' are pretty ruthless. I don't buy books anymore, and I still have less than roughly half the number of clothes I used to have.
So, what do we buy? I guess the number one acquisition since we left Texas has been art. I have lithographs of the Pacific Northwest. I have added paintings of New England, Nova Scotia, Colorado, Pacific Northwest, Arizona, and a woodblock print. I've bought pottery, sculpture, a Japanese quilt square and painted plates. This has been added to what I kept from my Texas house. I've had to 'salon style' hang lots of the pieces since our wall space is severely limited.
The other category which is creeping up in accumulation is all my sewing and embroidery supplies. I'm a sucker for thrift store/discount store material. I love to sew, and still make a certain percentage of my own clothes. Now, I'm doing limited sewing for the new grandson. (Good thing he's not a girl! There's definitely a home sewing bias between girl babies and boy babies.)
The price of fabric has skyrocketed as individually owned fabric stores are now almost non-existent. Hancock's (national fabric store) went bankrupt and closed down. JoAnn's national chain is driving everyone else out of the business. This store has a defacto monopoly - especially on fabric. They can pretty much charge whatever they want for fabric, notions, and embroidery supplies. With ordinary fabric running $6 to $10 a yard, it's hard to pass up $1 a yard material at thrift stores even if I don't have an immediate use for it. The same goes for 'tools' and 'notions'. For example, I bought a snap fastener tool for $1 at a thrift store not too long ago, and I saw the exact same tool for sale at the above mentioned fabric store for $25. Same goes for a rotary cutter, all kinds of scissors, embroidery thread, patterns, - oh, the list goes on and on. The fact remains I still have to find places and drawer space for these acquisitions.
If someone like me who has the mindset of, "If I haven't used it in a year or more, I probably don't need it." struggles to keep accumulations down, it's no surprise the Japanese woman who is selling the purging idea has not only a book but also a TV show on how to get rid of your stuff. I must say, though, thanking every piece you unload is a little over the top for me.
However, I do approve of her basic idea that we all have too much stuff cluttering up our lives, weighing us down, and sometimes clouding our priorities. People often ask me if I don't 'miss' all the items I've jettisoned over the years. Sometimes they don't really even believe me when I say, not only 'no', but that having fewer things is freeing.
Still it's a struggle. I like a comfortable life. Many of my purchases are all about aesthetics but many are about convenience. Another area of purchase is I love to give gifts, and I struggle to not foist off on others stuff they ultimately don't want just because I like to give. Inside our family, we try to avoid giving lots of things. Instead, we try to keep our gift purchases to consumables, especially at holidays, but even so gift items creep up on me.
One problem which fuels re-accumulation is I never met a clearance rack I didn't want to stop and chat with. Over the years, I've learned two things about 'clearance'. (1) If no one else wanted it, you probably don't either, and (2) If you don't have an immediate use for it, don't buy it even if it's 80% off. Still, even a savvy shopper like me can sometimes hear and be seduced by the siren call of 'clearance'.
On the other hand, I don't need immediate gratification. I can see something appealing, put it down and walk away from it until I can check out reviews about it and find the most attractive price. Then, if it passes the, "Yes, I absolutely need this test." I'll buy it. People who can't 'wait' to make purchases baffle me.
The other type of shopper I don't understand are those who MUST shop in the most expensive places. Value is not often found in price or brand. Usually, only status is found in price or brand, and I don't really want or need validation of self worth from my possessions or where I buy them.
However, my point is just because I can get it for peanuts doesn't mean I should buy it. Filling my house 'up' is not a game I want to play, but obviously, invariably, in this land of too many and too much, I find myself playing.
I think the most disheartening revelation about this whole redux process is, despite my best efforts, I seem to have re-accumulated. The only thing holding down the acquisitions is I have fewer square feet to work with. And, don't misunderstand, my 'best efforts' are pretty ruthless. I don't buy books anymore, and I still have less than roughly half the number of clothes I used to have.
So, what do we buy? I guess the number one acquisition since we left Texas has been art. I have lithographs of the Pacific Northwest. I have added paintings of New England, Nova Scotia, Colorado, Pacific Northwest, Arizona, and a woodblock print. I've bought pottery, sculpture, a Japanese quilt square and painted plates. This has been added to what I kept from my Texas house. I've had to 'salon style' hang lots of the pieces since our wall space is severely limited.
The other category which is creeping up in accumulation is all my sewing and embroidery supplies. I'm a sucker for thrift store/discount store material. I love to sew, and still make a certain percentage of my own clothes. Now, I'm doing limited sewing for the new grandson. (Good thing he's not a girl! There's definitely a home sewing bias between girl babies and boy babies.)
The price of fabric has skyrocketed as individually owned fabric stores are now almost non-existent. Hancock's (national fabric store) went bankrupt and closed down. JoAnn's national chain is driving everyone else out of the business. This store has a defacto monopoly - especially on fabric. They can pretty much charge whatever they want for fabric, notions, and embroidery supplies. With ordinary fabric running $6 to $10 a yard, it's hard to pass up $1 a yard material at thrift stores even if I don't have an immediate use for it. The same goes for 'tools' and 'notions'. For example, I bought a snap fastener tool for $1 at a thrift store not too long ago, and I saw the exact same tool for sale at the above mentioned fabric store for $25. Same goes for a rotary cutter, all kinds of scissors, embroidery thread, patterns, - oh, the list goes on and on. The fact remains I still have to find places and drawer space for these acquisitions.
If someone like me who has the mindset of, "If I haven't used it in a year or more, I probably don't need it." struggles to keep accumulations down, it's no surprise the Japanese woman who is selling the purging idea has not only a book but also a TV show on how to get rid of your stuff. I must say, though, thanking every piece you unload is a little over the top for me.
However, I do approve of her basic idea that we all have too much stuff cluttering up our lives, weighing us down, and sometimes clouding our priorities. People often ask me if I don't 'miss' all the items I've jettisoned over the years. Sometimes they don't really even believe me when I say, not only 'no', but that having fewer things is freeing.
Still it's a struggle. I like a comfortable life. Many of my purchases are all about aesthetics but many are about convenience. Another area of purchase is I love to give gifts, and I struggle to not foist off on others stuff they ultimately don't want just because I like to give. Inside our family, we try to avoid giving lots of things. Instead, we try to keep our gift purchases to consumables, especially at holidays, but even so gift items creep up on me.
One problem which fuels re-accumulation is I never met a clearance rack I didn't want to stop and chat with. Over the years, I've learned two things about 'clearance'. (1) If no one else wanted it, you probably don't either, and (2) If you don't have an immediate use for it, don't buy it even if it's 80% off. Still, even a savvy shopper like me can sometimes hear and be seduced by the siren call of 'clearance'.
On the other hand, I don't need immediate gratification. I can see something appealing, put it down and walk away from it until I can check out reviews about it and find the most attractive price. Then, if it passes the, "Yes, I absolutely need this test." I'll buy it. People who can't 'wait' to make purchases baffle me.
The other type of shopper I don't understand are those who MUST shop in the most expensive places. Value is not often found in price or brand. Usually, only status is found in price or brand, and I don't really want or need validation of self worth from my possessions or where I buy them.
However, my point is just because I can get it for peanuts doesn't mean I should buy it. Filling my house 'up' is not a game I want to play, but obviously, invariably, in this land of too many and too much, I find myself playing.
Monday, April 8, 2019
Milano
While we loved our Italian trip, if I had to rank the cities, Milan was my least favorite. It was because it seemed so international and cosmopolitan while Florence and Venice seemed to exist in Renaissance and Medieval times. This was also the wealthiest of the four cities we visited.
If I had to express the essence of Milan in one word, it would be "CLOTHES". We stayed in the downtown area and street after street were filled with upscale shops with windows full of the most beautiful clothes I've ever seen en mass in person. These were not 'runway' clothes, most of which are practically unwearable, but rather with well tailored, well designed clothes which would be a pleasure to wear everyday. How glad I was to be 68 instead of 28. My age saved me lots of $$$$. The clothes were all obviously made to be worn by the young professional woman either at work or at play. They were still a joy to see in the windows and then equally striking 'shown' in real life on the streets.
While we did the obligatory (on my vacations, anyway) museums, and there were a couple of wonderful ones, the iconic activity was attending the Nutcracker Ballet at LaScala Opera House, one of the most famous
performance venues in the world. It was opened in 1778. The exterior is quite unimposing, and my first thought on finding it was, "Can this really be it?". The interior was also pedestrian, but the quality of the sound was magnificent.
Now, we've seen the Nutcracker a zillion times. Two things made this performance unique. We were touring a famous Milan art museum, and two other Americans asked Drake if he knew the location of something in the museum. They struck up a conversation, and it turns out they were from the New York City Ballet. They were in Milan supervising the production of The Nutcracker which was using the George Balanchine choreography - owned by the NYC ballet. (For ballet neophytes - Balanchine was the artistic director of the NYC Ballet for decades, and he's famed for his intricate and difficult to dance choreography.) They told Drake the dancing was so/so, but the music would be fabulous. Boy, were they right. I don't know how in 1778 they got the acoustics exactly perfect, but I've never heard Tchaikovsky any better.
We also saw the Medieval heart of Milan, a walled fort which has been restored. Even though Milan was the coldest of our destinations, it was refreshing to be outdoors walking around this huge walled fort. As to approach, there's a large fountain.
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| Half the fountain is to the left |
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| One of four towers on each corner |
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| Fortified gate into the fort |
I actually had to miss a museum inside the fort - it was closed, but I suspect the building itself was the major attraction. During the restoration, the restorers uncovered 'ancient Milan' from the Roman times, and piled all the bits and pieces from that time period in one corner of the courtyard.
Naturally, Milan has a cathedral. It's not just any cathedral - it's the largest in Italy, larger than St. Peters. The Milan Duomo began construction in 1387 and continued for 600 years! Napoleon coerced and bribed the 'builders' to finish the facade since this is the site of his coronation as the King of Italy. This cathedral is basically in the Gothic style with flying buttresses, and it looks like a giant confection.
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| Gargolyes inside the museum |
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| Outdoor gargoyle on Duomo Cathedral - with pigeon deterrent |
We were here on the Saturday before Christmas. This was a performance hall for concerts (thus the extra chairs), as well as the extra religious services. The Duomo Plaza has the Cathedral on one side and the Vittorio Emanuele on the other side. The Vittorio Emanuele is the Rodeo Drive of Milan.
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| The 'Sworovski' Christmas tree - decorated with crystals |
Of course, I went to art museums in Milan. In the top fine arts museum is hung one of the most revered painting in Italy - nope, it's not religious, but rather, patriotic. It's by Francesco Hayez, an Italian Romantic painter. It's the essence of a romantic kiss, but it symbolizes the beginning of the union of Italy into one nation. It is in the Pinoteca de Brera (lots of other great pictures too).
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| "The Kiss" by Hayez |
Our other adventure in Milan was the result of a travel article I read before we went. We tracked down a shop inside a courtyard which creates decorative hand painted plates. This is a family business run by two generations of women. Below is the daughter standing outside the shop window. My 'big' Italian souvenir was a pair of hand painted plates.
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| This is the daughter holding one of the plates I bought |
Finally, while I took fewer pictures in Milan than anywhere else in Italy, there are still lots and lots. I would suggest you look at the first set entitled 'Milan', and then move onto the art if you are interested.
Milan
Pinoteca de Brera (fine art museum)
Ambrosiana Museum (art/decorative arts)
Poldi Museum (decorative arts)
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