Self Control

We've come to the last fruit of the spirit. So as not to hold you in suspense, it's SELF CONTROL.  It's exactly what it sounds like.  The gist here is the Holy Spirit helps a believer practice self control.  And what value is self control?

Remember how you felt when you ate the entire carton of ice cream, and vowed to start a sensible diet?

The cold dread when you saw the credit card amount after the Christmas holidays, and promised yourself you would stick to the budget.

How about a new appreciation of the porcelain throne after the New Year's Eve party, and as you lay there moaning, you decided no more of this kind of abuse.

And my personal favorite:  I'll just buy one more pack of cigarettes, and then I'll quit for good.

Even if only one of the above scenarios resonates with you, then you understand perfectly how being able to practice self control can change your life for the better.

Here's my story about self control of a destructive behavior.  Let's just say I'm a stubborn, arrogant, slow learner who is absolutely positive I can manage any situation totally on my own, thank you very much.

It's the summer of 1969, and I had one whole year of college under my belt.  My family would be characterized today as 'lower middle class' or 'blue collar'.  My Dad, an electrician, collected his two week vacation pay every year, but instead of taking a vacation, he paid a semester of tuition for my college education.  My mother got a job for extra money working with the photographers who took those wonderful school photos your mom sent out with her Christmas cards.  It paid a pittance, but it helped with books, meals, dormitory fees and so forth.  I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college, and this was a family commitment.

So, I HAD to have a summer job.  Without it, I couldn't go back to college.  There simply wouldn't have been enough money to cover all the expenses.  Now, in 1969 there were almost no fast food restaurants, the mecca for teen jobs.  Adults with families were still making a living by working full time in retail box stores.  If your Dad was white collar like an accountant or a lawyer, his company would hire the kids of employees for the summer to be gofers.  The enterprising boys mowed lawns, or did odd jobs around their neighborhoods.  If you were a girl (yes, we were all 'girls' back then), you babysat.

Upon returning home from college, I pounded the pavement.  I circled want ads.  I didn't have a car, so my mother had to share her car with me while I was looking for summer work.  I had been looking constantly for three weeks, and I was getting desperate.  In June, I answered a want ad in the Tulsa World posted by the Mayo Hotel, the most famous hotel in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  The Mayo Hotel was built at the height of the roaring 20's - 1925 - and the zenith of the Oklahoma oil boom.  It quickly attracted the oil barons, the socialites, and the famous.  It was the first hotel in Oklahoma to have ceiling fans in every room, and ice water on tap.  In 1969 it was still a landmark in Tulsa, and their want ad was for a sales clerk at the sundries shop.  The sundries shop, in the corner of the lobby, sold toothpaste, toothbrushes, deodorant, combs, aspirin, pepto bismol, gum, candy and cigarettes - about 20 varieties.  Young, peppy college girl (me) just fit the bill, and EUREKA, I was hired.

All good, right?  Oh, yes with one small fly in the ointment:  The job paid $1.00 an hour (stingy even by 1969 girl pay standards).  There were two small compensations:  I could work as many hours as I wanted, and I could smoke all the cigarettes I wanted....  I can still remember being so very, very angry.   College boys (sons of other electricians) home for the summer made $7.00 per hour on my Dad's job site to subsidize their college expenses. Girls of the electricians weren't included in the program.

I cut off my nose to spite my face.  I lit up every chance I got.  My mother tried to stop me from smoking, but I just went off on a tirade of why couldn't I get a job on my Dad's work site?  I can remember screaming I worked seven hours for every one those boys worked and walked away from her.    By August I was hooked, and the cigarette monkey perched on my shoulder on and off for the next 30 years.  And even worse, I got Drake to start smoking when I returned to college.  It took him twenty years to hurl the little simian off his back.

I was able, barely, to not smoke while trying to get pregnant, while I was pregnant, and while I was nursing.  Then like a siren calling me, I bought a pack of cigarettes within weeks after Sarah Lynn was weaned.  Thus, began about 15 years of furtive smoking.  Most people had no idea I smoked.  They'd never seen me with a cigarette in my hand.  By this time, there was no doubt among health professionals that smoking cigarettes would kill you.  I knew they were killing me, and I couldn't stop.  Spasmodically over that 15 years  I tried everything to quit.  I always went back to smoking loathing myself when I caved in and bought a pack.  Finally, in utter desperation, I humbly petitioned for help from God.  Was it easy to quit this time?  No. However, curiously, it was much easier to quit smoking with the help of the Holy Spirit than it was without it.  It's been 17 years since I bought a pack of cigarettes.

Here's the final takeaway from this series of blogs:  If there's an aspect of your life you just can't manage on your own - well,you can call on this final fruit of the Holy Spirit to help bolster your self control over whatever is defeating you.

I started writing this series of blogs as a Lenten exercise for myself for 2017.  I had no expectations at all because I was drowning in pain, self pity, anger, frustration, contempt, and arrogance. Every day I was just going through the motions of living and getting lower and lower.  Alarm bells were going off among my closest friends.  Working through, thinking about, and writing about the Fruits of the Spirit in the Bible have helped me smooth out and really examine my feelings.  Am I all wonderful and every problem is solved?  Nope.  I'm still in pain, but my entire attitude has turned around 180 degrees.  I can feel myself shedding the stress I've wrapped around myself and becoming happier.  While my F of the S blogs may not have helped you, they've been lifesavers for me.