1) They are boring; the younger they are, the more boring they are.
2) It's always me, me, me with them.
3) They don't follow directions.
4) Give them an opportunity, and it's whine, whine, whine.
5) Picky eaters are the norm.
6) They have to be cleaned and dressed.
7) You have to tie shoes, zip zippers, and button buttons for A LONG TIME.
8) They can't cut up their own food.
9) Voice modulation is a mystery to them.
10) They calculate when your food is the most hot and delicious then demand both your hands to do something for THEM.
11) They take naps at inconvenient times.
12) They have short legs and no stamina when traveling.
13) They insist on putting sticky, dirty fingers as well as drool mixed with food on your best clothes.
14) They drag around disgusting objects which you have to keep track of.
15) They wake you up in the middle of the night to look under their beds.
16) They throw tantrums in public to cause you maximum discomfort.
17) They interrupt your sex life.
18) They expect to always open the first present.
19) You have to clean up disgusting substances they've created.
20) They bring home diseases and spread them around.
21) You have to take them trick or treating instead of going to your own party.
22) You're expected to attend school pageants and photograph them.
23) They don't understand the concept 'white lie'.
24) Your embarrassment is their weapon.
25) They stay up too late and then refuse to sleep through the night.
***Fortunately, my own child wasn't nearly as disgusting as other children. I don't understand how these other parents put up with their nasty offspring.
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