The Spanish royal Palace

 I’ve seen many royal palaces, stately homes, and castles, but none can hold a candle to the Spanish royal palace. This is a collection of art, objects, phenomenal decorations, and a chandelier collection second to none. We joked today that keeping them all clean would’ve been like painting the Golden Gate Bridge; once you finished, you get to start all over again.  The Royal Palace directly faces the Royal Cathedral.  It’s a face off between the earthly secular king  and the spiritual leader of Spain. This is a wildly popular tourist attraction.  It was crowded  with tours but still enjoyable.  

We are discovering the ‘senior rates are a drastic savings in the admission prices.  However,  you must present documentation that you’re OLD to get the reduced ticket.  

As with all these types of attractions, the pictures say it all.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/cDteRbATEJbqegy29 

Thinking About Prayer

 Today I'm thinking about and praying for the people who have prayed for me over the years.  During roughly 50 years of my life, I've had people actively praying for me.  Of course, my zany side immerged and I thought about ranking them from last to first - like a TV sports show with swirling, twirling lights and other graphical dodads.  And that brought to mind one of my mother's favorite bible verses - The last shall be first and the first shall be last. [Matthew 20:16.  This is part of the landowner parable.  The landowner pays all his workers equally whether they worked all day or just part of the day.]  It means that in God's kingdom (such a medieval reference!) the insignificant will be important in the eyes of God.  More importantly, heavenly systems are not like the earthly systems. 

I know.  I never write so directly about religion, but it is Lent, and my Lenten gift this year is to read a devotional every day and try to reflect on it.  Today's was about people who have prayed for you.  There have been so many.  It started when I was a child, and my mother's friends prayed for me whenever I was sick or in the hospital.  Some were Marthas and some were Marys.  [For the non-Christian, I'm talking about the parable where Martha does all the work required to have a bunch of people in her home for a dinner party and meeting.  Mary, her sister, sits at the feet of the teacher and listens to everything he has to say rather than helping Martha.  Martha is outraged when the teacher chides her for her jealousy and envy and refuses to instruct Mary to help her sister.]  You can interpret this parable in two ways - there's more than one way to serve God, and it's important to prioritize our time spent with God.

The point is there are many ways to pray.  I try to become friends with the people I meet who have certain types of auras - for want of a better word - .  Well, just like some folks are great at gardening or cooking or have a creative talent, some folks just seem to have a direct line to the spiritual.  It just sort of radiates out of them.  Now, selfishly, THOSE are the folks you want praying for you.  And, those folks are also people to be emulated.  It's kind of an impossible standard, but it is good to strive for. 

If you're saying at this point, "You're crazy; I don't see ANY auras."  Here's another approach - memorize the fruit of the spirit [ love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control]  If someone seems to embody these qualities effortlessly, that's someone you want to pray for you.  

As I became a parent, people prayed for me and my child.  I was never in a hospital waiting room or in as a patient alone.  That kind of prayer is a great comfort.  Plus, in times of stress I've never been shy about calling in the troops when I felt in need of prayer.  

If the shoe is on the other foot and I try to pray for someone, if I can't get started, I just turn to the Psalms and contemplate one.  It usually brings the comfort of knowing people are about the same - same types of troubles and upsets as modern people.  Endurance is all.  The idea of Leaning on the Lord is another good starter.  Worry is unfaithful is another good starter I use on myself.  

So, if you are so inclined....  think about prayer (or whatever spiritual quality makes sense to you).   

My prayer for you is you find a blessing during your day tomorrow.  Keep your self open to the possibility.    Amen, Over and Out.  Later.  YF.  Yeah, I should probably throw in a few emoji's here for fun 📿💗😇.  You can figure them out.

Texas Rangers: Spring Training, 2025

 Well, Texas Ranger fans, I've written a Spring Training Blog eleven times.  Basically, the same 59 people read it.  (Weird, huh?)  This year I've been hesitant to write about Spring Training because I'M NOT IN ARIZONA.  The first week of Spring Training I was positive I couldn't write about it.  We were only getting audio, and the 'starters' played about one nano-second followed by a stream of prospective wanna be's - some of which are legitimate, and others are ones invited to Major League Camp as a perk for a good performance at the lower levels of Minor League basement (High A, AA).  Triple AAA players are looked at hard - especially pitchers.  Non-pitchers at the Triple AAA level are invited to see if their ability to hit major league pitching has progressed to the point of being seriously considered.  

Each year, there is usually a 'break out' player.  In 2024, it was Wyatt Langford.   He's on track, again, to make the team.  The position player who has broken out this year is the Ranger's Minor League Player of the Year, 2024.  He was invited to the American League Fall Stars games.  He's Alejandro Osuna, a 22 year old RF who bats/throws left.  He has been tearing it up in Spring Training:  Translation - he's hitting major league pitching.  However, because he's so young, and our out field is overrun with seasoned players, he'll probably wind up in Triple AAA (a big promotion for him).  Still, he would be poised to jump up to the "Show" in the case of injury.

Last year was a huge disappointment.  It started with the starting pitching being decimated.  Then Josh Jung, star third basemen, broke his wrist. That opened the way for Josh Smith to become an everyday player and to blossom.  There's no way he can be kept out of the lineup this year after his amazing performance last year.  Semien (2nd base), Lowe (1st base - traded to the Nationals in the offseason), Heim (starting catcher), Garcia (right field) ALL HAD DISAPPOINTING SEASONS.  Only Seager did well, whenever he played.  He had surgery in the off season.  Evan Carter was hurt most of last season.  We were a dismal team.  Josh Smith was the only consistently competent batter last season.

We couldn't buy a seeing eye single.  We couldn't get the timely hit, especially with people on base.  Our one run games were underwater.  Our pitching consistently gave up runs in the first third of the game while we were blanked.  It was an exercise in frustration. 

THIS YEAR:  Starting rotation:  LaGrom (finally healthy, an "Ace" by any standard); Evoldi (healthy, and doing well in Spring Training); Mahle (concerned that his arm is still a bit iffy); Bradford (sore elbow - not going to be ready for Opening Day; Dunning (hopefully will return to his 2023 form); and Jon Gray should be the workhorse of the starters this year.  

Bradford's injury is setting up a ten day competition for his roster spot between Jack Leiter & Kumar Rocker.  Both are young.  Both are homegrown.  Both have great stuff.  Whoever wins this short term shorting job, will have a baptism by fire in the early season since neither one is truly a 'pitcher' yet.  Both should be starting in Triple AAA to get more command, and to learn how to be crafty and work out of trouble.

Our bullpen is the big question mark this year.  Kirby Yates, David Robertson, José Leclerc, Andrew Chafin, José Ureña, and Owen White were all traded/or left as free agents.   The bullpen is the weak link in this team.  There's no way to tell which of the dozen of so pitchers duking it out in Spring Training can produce during the year.  Joe Barlow is back.  If he can maintain his form of two years ago, he's the obvious closer, but every other relief position is up for grabs.  

Semian, Seager, Garcia, (oblique, but very mild); Langford (slightly worse oblique, but still mild), Carter, Taveras (stealing lots of bases) all look much better this Spring.  If most return to their 2023 form, the play-offs are certainly possible.  We have a great defensive team.  Joc Pederson was added as a professional DH - he's got a magnificent bat.  Jake Burger, also a veteran, takes over at first base - also a great bat.  Heim is going to platoon with the solid veteran catcher acquired from the Padres:  Kyle Higashioka.  Heim is hoping to recharge his bat in the 2025 season.

The core of this team won the 2023 World Series.  Chris Young (top dog in the front office) is all about building a team year after year which is competitive.  I think we are going to see a much better team than last year simply because of the starting pitching.  The defense is solid.  We need the timely hit.  We need the relief pitchers to hold the line.  Because the team is led by Semian, Seager and Garcia, all veterans who know how to win, I'm hopeful that their performances in Spring Training will help the team get off to a fast start.  It's going to be an interesting season.  My 'homer' prediction is 85-90 wins IF the pitching does its' job - both starters and relievers.  

GO, Rangers.  FYI:  Opening Day is March 27th, yes, it's early this year.  

It's Another New Year

         Another year bites the dust.  This is my 75^th year.  Hard to believe the earth has circled the sun 75 times, but, apparently, it has.  I always start contemplating the New Year on Christmas day because Christ’s (supposed) birth on December 25^th – arbitrary date which some scholars, but not all, associate with Saturnalia.  This was a Roman festival which ran for 23 days celebrating the agricultural bounty of the harvest just concluded.  It was also associated with the winter solstice.  People celebrated with wreaths, candles, good food and gift giving.  Sound familiar?  Christmas has always had this secular connection culminating in our 21^st century culture in “Santa”, or St. Nicolas, or Kris Kringle, or a myriad of other names Santa is known by around the world.    

          My point is I always start contemplating the new beginnings a New Year offers on Christmas Day.  I’ve been looking up quotations concerning the New Year, and my favorite is Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote”  "Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year". The quote continues, "He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety".  Isn’t that great?  It’s a reminder that worry is unfaithful.  

        The first person who said that to me was my friend, Frank Swenson.  I was fretting and stewing about EVERYTHING.  That was my mother’s specialty – think of everything that possibly could or would go wrong, and get PREPARED.  At the emotional level, she was very unhappy most of the time because she was so stressed trying to control everything.   However, she was ruthlessly organized and always prepared.  That mindset explains why.  One mantra I always use to help keep myself focused on what I can truly control is:  WORRY IS UNFAITHFUL. 

I always commit at the beginning of every year to find the bright side, silver lining, the ability to keep on no matter what, and to only solve the problem in front of me.  [I’m actually a little in love with Emerson.  I find his musings to be insightful, concise, and even two centuries later, to be understandable and relatable to 21^st century life.]

January 5th is an important day in the life of my family.  That day is part of my New Year's contemplations.  January 5, 2025 would have been my brother’s 72^nd birthday.  I know my nephew will be thinking of him today.  My best ‘Billy’ story happened before he used a single addictive substance:  He was in middle school.  As usual, he was large for his age, popular and could already tell spellbinding stories.  At 13 he was already a piped piper.  The story goes that he saw some bully beating up on some kid we would call a nerd today in the school hallway.  Billy pushed the bully off the kid at which point the bully decided to challenge Billy to a fight after school. 

Billy Sartor

Billy loved to fight.  His only concern was (1) his watch, which one of his minions happily held during the actual fight, and (2)  my Dad would find out he’d been fighting.  He proceeded to beat the bully into the ground.  I heard this story from two guys at Bill’s funeral who had known him since elementary school.  I suspect some version of this story is true because Billy (the boy) had a sense of fairness and what was ‘right’.  This is one of my favorite stories about my brother.  I always wonder who he might have become without his addictions changing him and his life. 

 

Wedding Day, January 5, 1946

Jo and Bill Sartor, 50+ years of marriage

Joan & William Sartor, January 5, 1946

 On a happier note, January 5^th is  also my parents’ wedding anniversary.  There was a huge storm with snow and ice the day of their wedding.  It was a small affair to start with – mostly family with a few friends in the West Tulsa local Methodist church with the punch and cake reception in the basement.  In 1946 there was no alcohol, a few presents, and life went on.  Mother and Dad went to their newly rented garage apartment pulled on a sled!  Mother was 20 and Dad was 22.  They met when she was a sophomore in high school.  They dated until Dad graduated in 1943.  He immediately went to the Army-Air Corps.  They decided not to marry because Mother was really too young, and Dad didn’t want to leave a widow behind and a possible child.  He expected to be killed because in 1943 the war still hung in the balance   Air-Corpsmen fighting from planes didn’t have an expectation of longevity.  They wrote letters throughout the war.  The day he returned to Tulsa, he appeared on Mother’s parents’ doorstep with a dozen red roses.  [This would have been the equivalent of a couple of hundred dollars in today’s money and an extravagant gift.]  I try to think of their feelings in that moment in time.

They loved each other for more than 60 years before she died.  My father adored her.  He was the passive partner in the relationship.  Mother always led everything.  I know they had a very active sex life.  I learned that by accident – my father in his dementia had zero filter after Mother passed.  She would have been horrified.

He always gave her special cards especially for their anniversary.  He would keep them in the glove box of his truck until the ‘day’.  I realized Dad was deep into dementia when Mother began recycling her ‘cards’ – she kept them – because Dad could no longer function enough to buy a new one.  There was rarely enough money for any type of gift on their anniversaries, but there was no doubt of their devotion.  It was a living marriage with ups, downs, and sideways happenings; it was always real and very satisfying to both partners.  Overall, it was an introduction to what a successful marriage actually looked like.  What a gift,

This day of the birthday and anniversary being on the same day is the time each year I contemplate my family and growing up.  I was very lucky to have such loving parents, but I was also a product of the double standards of the time period.  It took me a long time to gain self confidence, and become grounded in who I was.  I suspect that’s true of most of us.  

Finally, have a Happy New Year because each day of each year can be a blessing and a new beginning.  

Spotsylvania

 We live in Spotsylvania County, Virginia.  It is an old county; established in 1721.  It's called the 'crossroads' of the Civil War.  Four major battles were fought here during the Civil War.  It is in this county that the strategy of war shifted from formations marching toward one another loading and firing.  This formation strategy is something seen in the Revolutionary War.  The British considered the Americans 'cheating' because they hid behind trees and rocks firing from cover.  General Grant and General Lee decided to entrench troops behind earthen works strengthened with timbers higher than the soldiers' heads.  Then, the fighting was with artillery, calvary, and in areas where the trenches were close - with hand to hand fighting.  

36,000 Union soldiers and 24,000 Confederate soldiers were killed, wounded, captured or missing.  These battles occurred in May of 1864; it is here that Grant is first accused of being a 'butcher' because of the staggering losses during this particular battle called the Spotsylvania Courthouse Battlefield.  Grant knew he could replace his soldiers while Lee could not.  The irony of this battle is Grant didn't win any ground, and he withdrew with a loss after ten plus days of intense fighting.  

We took a driving tour of this battlefield, and walked a small trail of a little over a mile.  Considering the trouble with my back, knees, and feet, I was surprised how well I managed.  The weather was glorious today.  We are having a down year for leaf peeping because the weather hasn't cooperated for beautiful leaves.  That said, I haven't been disappointed with the leaf scenery.  

Inside the Spotsylvania Battlefield

If you'd like to see more pictures of the area, click on the link:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/3UYvVfEqjzPFNztu9

Want to Know Your Future?

Sometimes you just have a unique experience.  That happened to me this week.  I cashed in Drake's birthday gift.  Here's a little background about how this came about.  First, we joined Planet Fitness, in Spotsylvania County, VA, and we take advantage of our free Silver Sneakers membership almost everyday.  Each day we go exercise, we pass this sign:

I have to admit this sign just kept calling to me.  After days and days of driving past this sign, I told Drake I'd like a Tarot reading from Sabrina.  Sure enough, as a birthday gift, Drake bought me a Tarot reading.  With two cataract surgeries on September 26 AND October 1 notwithstanding all the drops and follow-up appointments, I was finally able to book my Tarot Reading appointment. Ok, Ok, I can see a big number of readers out there rolling your eyes.  Drake, the curmudgeonly skeptic, is at the head of that line.

My mother is about 37 - 1962

I, however, believe there are a great many things unseen in this universe, and furthermore, I believe there are human beings who have abilities some others may not have.  In other words, do I believe some people have psychic abilities?  Yes, I do.  I grew up with a person who had a small psychic gift.  For as long as I lived with my parents, I watched my mother more times than I can count on all my fingers and toes suddenly just stop what she was doing, look inward, and say something to effect, "I need to call ________; something is going on."  She would then pick up the phone, and just inquire.  On the other end, I would ALWAYS hear something like, "Oh, Joan, I'm so glad you called!  _______  (fill in name here) had just been in a car wreck, had a heart attack, come down with _________(fill in the disease), is in the hospital or occasionally, had DIED.  Eventually, people quit asking her how she knew.  Her reply was always, "I just had a feeling."  I never heard anybody she contacted, say everything was OK.  I guess that experience made me more amenable to psychics.

Here's what happened at my Tarot Reading.  First, I very carefully didn't give Ms. Sabrina any 'clues'.  I wore nothing with a logo on it.  My only jewelry was by $8 wedding ring.  I wore simple make-up and tidy hair.  When I sat down, she first told me about herself.  She's been in business for 15 years at this same place - it's her house with the garage converted to her studio.  That makes her an institution in greater Fredericksburg.  This has always been a major road in Spotsylvania County.  Plank Road refers to the planks laid down in the 1850's going eastbound toward Fredericksburg to handle the heavy wagon loads of goods flowing into the town.  The unplanked road goes back to before the Revolutionary War.  It is now a divided highway, four lanes on each side with turn lanes; every commercial establishment in this part of Spotsylvania County has a presence on Plank Road.  The population growth of this county has exploded around Sabrina.  Everyone who's lived here any length of time knows who she is.

According to her, she is a third generation psychic with the 'gift' passing from her grandmother to her mother to her.  She remembers knowing the future about people from the time she was six years old.  She also feels like this is an inborn gift.   According to her, you can't read a bunch of books, buy a pack of Tarot cards and declare you are now a psychic.  She feels there is a spiritual world which interacts with us.  [Not too far off from interacting with the Holy Spirit, but I'm sure that would be considered blasphemy.]  I still had told her nothing about myself.

The 'reading' cost $75  (because everybody reading this blog wants to know the price) lasted one hour and was focused on the near future - she called it 'the next 'season' - which is the upcoming Autumn and Winter.  Sabrina had two stacks of cards.  One stack was the traditional Tarot pack, and the other pack were in the Tarot style, but were not labeled. I asked her about the second stack, and apparently they were cards her personal family has always used.  She asked me to think of a question I would like for her to answer.  

She shuffled both decks of cards while she talked and several times more before she started laying out cards. {You'll be glad to know the 'death card' didn't pop up.  I was certainly relieved.}  The cards were dealt out in three groups:  About myself.  About family.  About marriage.  She pointed out this was what she 'saw'.  For instance, she DIDN'T SAY "On October 29th, you'll find an envelope of money."  It was rather a premonition of possibilities.  Yes, yes, you can tell anybody anything, but it was more enlightening to hear than I expected.

First:  About Myself in the upcoming season.  According to Sabrina, it's time to focus on ME.  She felt I've been too busy doing many things which I felt were mandatory whether I wanted to do them or not.  Duh.  Eight months moving cross country, buy house, remodel house, put in all the 'stuff'.  So, yes, I'm ready to stop cooking six/seven meals a week because I'm too tired to get cleaned up to go out.  I'm ready to start exploring this area.  I'm ready to watch fewer sports.  

Now, I just have to give myself permission to do these things.  I still feel vaguely guilty when I'm not busy all the time.  I thought this section of the reading was the 'weakest'.  Who wouldn't want to be told:  "Do things for yourself which you enjoy."  The next two portions of the reading really got to me.

Second group of cards:  About my Family:  She turned over a card, looked up and said:  "Tell your daughter she's going to be offered a good opportunity in her career in the coming season, but she should turn it down since there will be a better one in the next season,"  (spring/summer).  I never told her I had a daughter or that she had a career.  

What came next was even more amazing:  When she turned the next card, she said:  "There's a male child, but I'm seeing ambivalence.  He's the child to be concerned about this season since he's anxious about meeting some people on an upcoming trip.  She also shared some other impressions she was getting about him.  Well, some readers know that we have a young man we consider our pseudo son and have for many years.  When I last talked to him, he confided he's going to meet his first serious significant other's family when they come to California for a Nebraska football game.  This is a big milestone for the relationship.  Sabrina emphasized it was important to simply 'be himself' while meeting these new people, and to not be anxious because they will like him.  She also suggested he needs to progress slowly into this important new relationship.  (This is something he is already doing, and he has used the exact same words as she did.)

Moving onto the final portion of the reading:  About My Marriage - less amazing than the middle portion, but also revealing about what she 'picked up' on.  She sees an upcoming trip in this season.  She suggested February as the earliest we should take it.  We should be working on strengthening our personal bonds with one another because she sees some type of crisis - not necessarily in this season, but further into the future.  Well, we ARE taking a trip, and I do think there's an upcoming crisis which I'm not ready to share. 

Before we began, she asked me to think of a specific question I would like answered. I said,  "Since we've just moved to this area, do you think we will be happy here?"  She turned over cards, hesitated, and said, "For about 10 years."  Drake and I have said all along, this Fredericksburg house was our '10 year house', so while her answer was spot on, I wish she'd said for a longer time.  

Finally, she told me how 'easy' it was to get a reading from me since I was spiritually 'open'.  We all know that's not a big surprise since I'm fascinated and always interested in new experiences.  What did surprise me is she told me not to return to her before six months or more have passed.  My suspicious jaded self expected the 'hard sell' along the lines of "You need to see me every month."  That didn't happen.  

It was interesting she had a supplementary deck of cards which she said have been used and improved by her family since her grandmother's time.  She would turn over a card in this supplementary deck - same type of pictures on the supplementary cards - to expand on the formal Tarot card.

I left feeling refreshed.  I was amazed she knew about my children.  She didn't offer advice about specific events, other than in pretty general terms.  She was adamant Drake and I should not taking a big trip until after February.  (We are, in fact planning a big trip.)  I do think she's very good at reading people.  Mostly, I left with a confirmation of some of the feelings I've been having, and I considered my psychic reading a very positive experience.          

Drake Claims He's Married to a New Person

 

A bad selfie on the way to the eye doctor.....
No glasses!

Have you ever missed something?  I'm not talking about things lost in the jungle of your closet or the frustration of rifling through your junk drawer, or in my case peering into any number of lidded pots I use to conceal my 'clutter' I can't let go of.  [I actually have a small jacks ball with a tiny playing card suspended inside it.  Have no clue where it came from, but I'm not throwing it away.]   Nor am I talking about those certain foods you're avoiding.  

No, I'm talking about missing my nearsightedness.  I just had cataract surgery on both my eyes five days apart.  The reason the surgeries were so close together is we sprang for the all the bells and whistles lens'.  These new lens look like vinyl records with each groove being a level of vision.  It's going to take awhile for my brain to learn how to use these, and how to use them together. Currently, less than five days out from my second eye, I can see from about six inches from my face to infinity.  If that's not enough, my vision is supposed to improve over the next 30 days.  [As I'm typing this, my vision is moving between sharp and faintly blurred.]  My brain is in training.  It's learning not only how to use both eyes together but also to switch between the various vision levels.  

Ten feet and beyond has snapped in pretty quickly.  I can see with sharp vision in and around any room.  Out in the real world, I think of my vision as being to infinity and beyond!  I can easily see clearly at a distance, but my brain is sluggish at moving between a driving distance back to the street signs.  

OK, so that's physically what's happening.  So, the question is why would I miss being nearsighted?  I've been nearsighted since I was about seven years old.  At age 8, the teacher called my mother and suggested I couldn't really see the blackboard.  This was very typical in the 1950's especially in families where no one else wore glasses.  I saw the ophthalmologist about every six or eight months for the next seven years. I got more and more nearsighted, and my glasses got thicker and thicker.  At night, I watched the items disappear from my dresser, the doorknobs disappear from the doors, and even the covers at the end of the bed get fuzzy. 

At first, I was scared by what was happening.  Gradually, I relaxed, and began to realize since I couldn't see anything, I wasn't distracted by objects in the room.  I started living inside my head when I was very young.  There's a softness and relaxation level in the nearsighted world which is hard to explain to the 20/20 visionaries.  

When you wake up in the nearsighted world, you can just relax.  If you have to think about the upcoming day, no problem.  You can't see the clothes that need to be picked up; the shoes that need to be put away; or the rest of the clutter in the room.  If you're not pushed to get up to start the day, being nearsighted is REALLY relaxing.  You just lay back, and drift.  Sometimes, I even fall back asleep.  In the morning, that's never a problem for me.  

Another benefit of nearsightedness is you can't see dirt!  This can be very comforting in the shower or the tub especially if those fixtures don't belong to you.  I know, gross.  It's always easier to hit any bathroom while being nearsighted.  However, you never want to clean nearsighted -  you'll miss half the dirt.  

Finally, another benefit of being nearsighted is your close up vision is terrific.  If the rest of the world could be within six inches then all would be copacetic.  Since the cataract surgeries, I've lost that crystal clear close up vision. I've already realized I'll need 'cheaters' to thread needles, rip out stitches, see my face close up in a mirror, or do anything else right under my nose.  I can no longer see my armpits.  Not a great loss, but definitely a change since I now have to shave blind.

Naturally, by this time, you've realized I'm gently pulling your leg.  This really has been a massive adjustment.  I wake up and I'm startled when the room snaps into crystal clear focus.  I get up and reach for my glasses.  If I haven't automatically reached for them, I vaguely wander around my room and bathroom looking for 'something' until I realize it's my glasses my subconscious wants me to find.  At least once or twice a day I try to take off my non-existent glasses.  As compensation for losing my nearsightedness, I was able to buy a pair of sunglasses which don't look like some weird virtual reality headset.  

Prior to these surgeries I was having major anxiety.  The anxiety was swirling around my life, and kept being more and more directed to the cataract surgeries.  I finally figured out the 'trigger'.  I'd heard more than once cataract surgery was 'simple' and would be no problem.  The last time I had a simple surgery which would be no problem, I lost the ability to walk for about two years.  Once I figured this out AND had a consultation with my spiritual advisor, I calmed down enough to have the surgeries without complications.  

Now, I've further figured out that this has not been just a 'simple surgery' for me.  I never, ever expected the results I'm getting.  This has upended my world.  Sounds crazy?  Yep.  Try to imagine the way you interact with the world completely changes.  I really don't remember a time when I didn't wear glasses.  (Caveat:  I tried at 16 and 24 to wear contacts.  Both short lived and failures.)  When you frame the cataract surgeries in this lens, you can see why part of me misses being nearsighted. 

Now, those are some cute sunglasses!!!