Killa, Killa, Killa, FAST, FAST, FAST

We made it to the TEXAS ROLLERGIRLS - THE ROCK-N-ROLLER DERBY! (The tickets were my Mother's Day present - does Sarah know her mother or what?) What an experience. The title of this blog is the cheer for the Hotrod Honeys, the best team of the league. WOW! Were they fast slippery, and tough.

This 'sport', actually it was more of a 'happening' for those of you old enough to remember this term, was really fun to watch. It was fast, easy to follow, quick action - no down time - with the crashes of NASCAR, and the speed and quickness of short track speed skating. It also had the cheesecake of an old time pin-up magazine. There was lots of tits and ass - covered - but very outlined. The other constant was tattoos and bizarre names.

Interestingly, the roller derby girls don't use in-line skates, but rather the old fashioned 4 wheelers. A lot of the costumes look homemade. They reminded me of raunchy dance recital costumes. My favorite costumes belonged to the Hustlers - everybody on the team wore purple and silver. Spandex, lame', sequins, fishnet, bikini tops and/or bottoms, velour, wide silver belts, and so forth. Every girl's outfit was a different combination of the above materials. The Honkeytonk Heartbreakers had more of a standard uniform, as you can see from the picture. The Hell Marys each wore some variety of a red tartan plaid bottom, either skirt or boxer - as a send-up of a Catholic girl's school uniform.

My very favorite, favorite part of the hype were the names: Curvette 76, Pussy Velour, Vanna Whitetrash, Booty Queen XXX, Ruby Wring, RadioActive 91.7, Voodoo Doll 29, Peppermint Bratty, Slaughter Melon, and my #1 favorite name: The Killa' Sal Monella.

One of the things that surprised me about this event was that the people who attended and the people who competed were not nearly as sleazy or trashy as I had imagined they all would be. -There were lots of family attendees (like a dance recital.) All seats were general admission. You lined up to get in. It was very democratic: Get there early, stand outside in the sun, and when they open the doors, get good seats. You got free fans, and you could buy weirdly flavored popsicles to eat while waiting - you know like 'wheatberry'. The promoters controlled who got to drink beer pretty carefully. They had silly games of audience participation between the matches similar to what minor league baseball teams do between innings. At roller derby, they invited anyone in the audience to come out onto floor and do 'air guitar'. The sponsors then gave a small prize to the winner.

Some of the competing teams were like sororities (albeit with very, very visible large tattoos and clothes no housemother would have EVER tolerated) - just a group of girls having fun. Other teams were in earnest and really cared about the sport. Those teams were conditioned, in excellent physical shape, with game plans and exciting skaters who were fast and agile. Overall, it is fun to watch. You get to drink beer. They give away free stuff (got me 2 Texas Rollergirl coozies and a fan on a stick). They sell great T-shirts at reasonable prices. I'd go again in a heartbeat. Next time, though, I'm getting tattooed and wearing fishnet. Well, OK, temporary tattoos and my black Texas Rollergirl T-shirt with the glittery silver roller derby emblem.

Our other outing this week was to another iconic Texas landmark: The Little Creamery in Brenhamn - otherwise known as the home of Blue Bell Ice Cream. If you are non-Texan, this is THE ice cream everyone in Texas eats. Everyone I know has a favorite flavor. If you have access to it, because it isn't nationally distributed, try some. The tour of the plant was fun, interesting, and a much smaller operation that I imagined. (I did learn they have actually have four ice cream making plants - 2 in Brenham (the old one and the new one), one in Alabama and one in Oklahoma.) You can take your picture with both a cow and an ice cream truck, but best of all - you get a free dip of ice cream and you get to choose among 24 flavors of Blue Bell at the end of the tour. Interesting facts: It takes the daily output of 50,000 cows to make one day's batch of Blue Bell. Homemade Vanilla is their #1 seller, and Dutch Chocolate is #3. Coming in at #2 is..................Cookies and Cream. When they originally made this flavor, employees actually had to open packages of Oreo cookies by hand because Nabisco wouldn't sell them Oreos outside the traditional cellophane packaging.

One family still owns Blue Bell. They are in their third generation. As anyone can attest who has eaten their ice cream, all their flavors are wonderful. They didn't start to sell their ice cream outside of Brenham until the 1970's - using a booth at the State Fair as well as the novel technique of having employees deliver styrofoam containers with Blue Bell ice cream to all the media people in Dallas. Blue Bell exploded when a New York advertising executive started promoting it. He came up with the Blue Bell cow and girl (who still march around every carton of Blue Bell), and well as the talking Jersey cows selling the ice cream.

They've only had one product failure. Howard Krause, one of the owners, thought that a stick of frozen strawberry jello, surrounded by homemade vanilla ice cream and coated with chocolate would be a sure fire seller. Everyone in the company tried to talk him out of it, but he went ahead and made it. Let's just say that he, and only he, ate A LOT of the one time only run of that product.

Here are SOME of the Blue Bell flavors. The new summer flavor is Summer Berry (blackberries, strawberries in a citrus ice cream with swirls of blueberry and raspberry.) I tried it, and it was refreshing. My favorite is the Peaches and Vanilla - only made when fresh peaches are in season. Drake had Moolennium Crunch - the special flavor commemorating their 100 year anniversary. (Vanilla ice cream with 2 kinds of nuts, chocolate chunks and caramel swirl.) I discovered they make new flavors all the time - some based on employee suggestions. I also found out they 'retire' flavors regularly.

Finally, the fitting end to the Blue Bell experience is the company motto: "We eat all the Blue Bell we can and sell the rest."

We are almost done with Texas. We leave for the International Ballet Competition in Jackson, Mississippi the 11th of June. Then, at the end of June, it's on to Washington state. Are you ready to go?